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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Lord Zardoz" data-source="post: 3138582" data-attributes="member: 704">I have a great deal of time to kill at the moment.  I am also the sort of DM that tends to have an above average number of NPC's that have no place in the real world.  So I figure why not create a short list of NPC's with what could be happily described as extreme personality disorders.Each NPC will consist of a name, and a breif description you can use when the NPC shows up for the first time.Rohgar:  "You see a man dragging a lumpy burlap sack with blood dripping out the bottom.  His forearms are bloody, but he is wearing clothes that are cleaner than he is.  He sees you, and waves, and says in a warm and inviting voice 'Hello fellow traveller.  Would you happen to have a Shovel that I might borrow or buy?'"Albert:  "You see a man muttering to himself, sitting on a stool with one foot resting up on his other knee.  He is holding a wood saw in hand, and is attempting to cut off his own foot."Jeremy:  "You hear voices shouting and cheering from a nearby alley.  Do you investigate"  (if they do), "there are 10 men back here, with most of them placing bets and circled around two other men.  These two men, a tall but gaunt half orc, and a human woman, appear to be having a head butting contest.  The woman is winning.  The bet taker, a dwarf approaches you and says 'Place yer bets, the bitch or the bulldog?  Bulldog has won 7 in a row, but the bitch is undefeated for a fortnight?' "Nathan:  A wizened old half elf gestures to you.  He is old, almost too old to be able to walk, and has a terrible cough.  He walks up to you and says, 'hey sonny, (Cough), give me your money or I will kick your (cough) your.. (cough) arse' "  (The old man is a feeble commoner, with 2 Str, 2 Dex, 1 HP, and +0 Bab.  However, he is dead serious in that he intends to beat the crap out of the players and take thier stuff.  He is also not senile).Heather:  "A foul stench makes you have to clamp down your jaw to keep from expelling your lunch.  The source appears to be a rag covered human female.  She is covered with open sores, and has a distinct moustache.  She weighs at least 250 pounds and you can see the lice crawling in her unshaven armpit hair.  She looks up at you with eyes devoid of any intelligence but burning with unfettered lust.  She smiles at you, showing off all 3 of her remaining blackened teeth, and snorts back a gobbet of snot that was about to drip off her nose, and says 'Hey handsome, looking for a good time?', and yes, you actually see her 'drop a deuce' as she speaks to you "Julie:  "A 4 year old gnome girl has suddenly attached herself to your leg and a great big hug saying 'DADDY!!'."  (works best with non-gnome characters)Paul:  "You see the inkeep sitting on a large stewpot with a look intense concentration, and occasionally hear a plop.  He looks up and says 'Oh, a customer.  Dont worry, dinner will be on shortly.'  "END COMMUNICATION</blockquote>

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