Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Hairy Minotaur" data-source="post: 4508516" data-attributes="member: 11574">Subtraction by Addition?As Gramps gasped for breath after the methane blast blew the breathable air into dead air, the rest of the party backed up into the tunnel where the air was still good. The enermancer, blown against the wall behind him, flopped to the ground unconscious with a burned scalp. Lord Horatius rose and turned back to the party, he pumped his fist high and then passed out from lack of oxygen. With the nauseating stench of ammonia and methane out of the way, Lavender crept slowly back into the cavern amidst the disgusting odor of burning waste matter and scorched hair. Holding her nose she checked on Lord Horatius to find that he was still breathing, she passed on waking him up fearing another incident of using a fireball to melt an ice cube. She made her way over to the enermancer and healed his bleeding abdomen puncture wound and then healed his head of third degree burns. She was unable to undo the retinal damage of viewing the bright fire envelope him as the creation of the blind spot would require a regeneration application which was currently beyond her reach.Slyphwhisper ambled into the room next and made a point to walk past the downed hexblade and give him a good kick in the ribs before proceeding to the other side of the cavern. Discordia busied herself with re-tying her brassiere after she had loosened the knots the blast blew it wide open. She seemed to take an inordinate amount of time tying the strands back in intricate knots only someone who wanted a spring loaded escape hatch for her brassiere could appreciate. She watched as Gramps coughed his way back to reality then playfully strode into the cavern swinging her hips so that the tassels on her brassier spun around in opposite directions. Slyphwhisper sped towards the opposite exit from the cavern to make sure he would be well notified of any incoming enemies who heard the blast go off and wanted to investigate. He found instead a short passage leading to a carved room that contained chained prisoners to the walls. Two troglodytes cowered on the floor, their eyes temporarily blinded and their ears ringing. The gnome quickly ran in and jabbed a dagger into the back of both their skulls then turned his attentions to the hostages. The prisoners were lined up on either side of the room against the walls flanking the entry. Most of them seemed to be alive; there were two that immediately looked dead to the gnome. These bodies were slumped over, hanging out from the wall yet their heads were lying backwards at a most uncomfortable angle. Lavender entered the room next and began scanning the faces of the hostages for the baron’s offspring. “Who here needs medical attention?” Slyphwhisper called out to which a crescendo of moans erupted in reply.Lavender nudged the gnome and bent down to whisper, “I can’t heal anyone right now I’m spent for the next eight hours and even then I wouldn’t be able to help them all.”“Great, these people can’t wait that long, we need to find the Baron’s kid and get out of here before the hexblade finds a natural gas deposit. “We may have to fight our way out of here, who among you is able to defend themselves and or another as we retrace our steps?” Slyphwhisper asks“Were you the ones who set off the explosion and tried to collapse the cavern trapping us in here until we died?” Spat a fuming man with green robes with a snake tattoo covering his shaved head. “No, that was the troglodyte who lit a match to see where he dropped his spear after we hailed him.” Slyphwhisper replied“What are you waiting for release us!” came a growing responseThe gnome began rifling through the pockets of the dead troglodytes looking for the keys to the manacles around the wrists of the prisoners.“What’s taking so long!” The response grew louder“What’s the problem?” Lavender asked the infiltrator“I can’t pick a lock, I need the keys and these troglodytes don’t have it.” Slyphwhisper answersInto the cacophony of fuming vocal prisoners sauntered in Discordia, “Hey guys, look what I can do.” The tiefling stated as she showed off her tassel spinning technique.“Not helping!” Slyphwhisper shouted to the warlock who quickly assessed that she was not in a friendly place“You found the hostages! Why didn’t you release them?” Discordia questions“Idiot! I’m trying to find the key!” Slyphwhisper shouts back“Hey, the enermancer found a key on the troglodyte’s body by the privy. Maybe you need that one?” Discordia offersThe gnome shouts for the enermancer to meet him in the small room immediately. After a couple seconds the enermancer appears in the doorway.“Whoa, what kind of demon worship is this?” The enermancer ponders“Never mind that, sexpot over there said you found a key on the dead troglodyte.” Slyphwhisper asks“Yes.” The enermancer replies“Give it to me so I can see if it will unlock these chains.” The gnome demands“Whoa, slow down there little buddy. We don’t even know to what demon these people were being sacrificed to. Don’t you think it prudent to find out that bit of information before releasing a lifetime of bad juju upon us?” The enermancer answers“Give me the damn key!” Slyphwhisper demands“Okay, but just so you know when they attack you that I warned you about the bad juju.” The enermancer says while handing over the small bronze key.Slyphwhisper tries the locks only to find that the key is much too small. The frustrated gnome tosses the trinket across the room.“Letting the sacrifices stay locked up, good man, an excellent choice. It’s what I would’ve done. It’s the right move.” The enermancer’s words turn the displeased hostages into a full hate on.Unable to think, Slyphwhisper exit the room and heads back into the huge cavern. Soon followed by Lavender, Discordia, and the enermancer.“What do we do now?” Lavender asks“I don’t know, I can’t pick the lock and no one has the key.” Slyphwhisper answers“Then there’s someone else wondering around down here or up there with the key.” Discordia offers“Maybe we should go back and bring help?” Lavender suggested“They’ll be dead by the time we return; most demons won’t wait for rescuers to return they’ll just eat them on the spot. Terrible table manners.” The enermancer explains“Step aside; let a real man in there.” Lord Horatius huffs as he shoves the enermancer out of the way.Lord Horatius turns and warns the others “Don’t come in here until I say so!”  As the hexblade enters the room, the cries for assistance increase, then lots of screaming and asking what is going ons, then all is quiet with the prisoners.“All ready in here.” Lord Horatius says and the rest of the party enters a room so thick with fear that the enermancer got out his crackers.“What did you do?” Slyphwhisper demands“Nothing I wasn’t prepared to do.” Lord Horatius answers“Why does it smell like lamp oil in here?” Discordia asks, Lord Horatius just whistles as if he did not hear the question“Apparently there is a secret door at the back of this room, I believe the one with the key to these chains resides in there along with the important prisoners.” Lord Horatius explains“How’d you find that out?” Slyphwhisper asks incredulously“Intimidate is not only a skill but a tool.” The hexblade repliesSlyphwhisper goes to work on the secret door, finding the latch he releases the locking mechanism and backs away so the newly arrived Gramps can push the door open. The dwarf heaves on the door and it slides away, revealing a handful of troglodytes and a lone halfling.“Abomination!” The enermancer screams and charges the halfling ignoring the short spears of the troglodytes. Gramps wades into the room next, hacking down a prepared troglodyte as if he were surprised to see opposition. Lord Horatius, annoyed at the wide dwarf blocking his entry into the killing spree, tossed an alchemist fire just over the head of the dwarf and it landed under a troglodyte. The substance splashed up the creature’s legs and set his lower half on fire. Screaming and running for the door brought the engulfed troglodyte to meeting with the sharp side of Gramps’ axe and the dwarf chopped him down.“Why do you insist on burning the evidence?” Lavender chastises the hexblade“What evidence? I’m leaving a calling card.” Lord Horatius answersSlyphwhisper sneaks past Gramps and helps the enermancer corner the halfling near the back of the room. The kidnapper takes a dagger out and presses it to the throat of a gagged and blindfolded female captive.“Take another step and this one becomes a tax write off.” The halfling threatens“Tell me what demon you plan on sacrificing these innocents to and I shall let you go first in line to meet it.” The enermancer challenges“What? These are not for … we’re not sacrificing …. What are you talking about?” the halfling questions“Surely now is not the time to be modest, be proud creature! Say his name out high so that all may hear of your twisted evil deed!” the enermancer espouses“What is wrong with you man? We’re just selling these off for profit, no one’s sacrificing anyone. You got this all wrong.” The halfling counters and points his dagger at the enermancer to emphasize his point.Slyphwhisper takes the opportunity to bound across the room and drive his dagger into the side of the halfling. The enermancer follows the gnome’s strike up with a swing of his own, nearly taking off the left arm of the kidnapper. Knocked prone and bleeding profusely, the kidnapper surrenders.“Lavender we need a patch job!” Slyphwhisper calls out, but the enermancer had other plans as he takes out two tindertwigs and douses the halfling with lamp oil. The kidnapper already quickly descending into shock begins to hasten that retreat.“What are you doing? We can’t burn him we need information.” Slyphwhisper decries“What? Burning?” Lord Horatius bull rushes himself into the room, knocking over Lavender who was answering Slyphwhisper’s call and Gramps who was engaged with the last troglodyte. The hexblade hurdles the falling dwarf and collides with the enermancer.Slyphwhisper quickly removes the tindertwigs and withdraws his waterskin so he can try to wash off the lamp oil. Lord Horatius clambers to the ground and ends up sprawled out on the floor, the contents of his backpack scatter across the floor. The enermancer picks up Mr. Blister and tries to ignite the halfling while Slyphwhisper pours water over the dying creature. Lord Horatius leaps to his feet and grapples the enermancer to try and wrest the flint stone out of his hands. Slyphwhisper succeeds in dumping the rest of his waterskin on the halfling while Lavender moves up to tourniquet his shoulder.The troglodyte seizes its chance to escape and pokes its spear into the soft belly of the dwarf under his breastplate. Puncturing a lung Gramps begins heaving badly as the troglodyte turns to escape only to get a hole in its chest as Discordia eldritch blasts the thing back into the room. “Ta da.” Discordia announces with the death of the troglodyte as she enters the room. Hearing the gurgling from Gramps she pauses to look him over.“Um, I don’t think the dwarf is okay.” The tiefling comments“He always sounds like that.” Lord Horatius answers without looking back at Gramps“Maybe, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen blood pouring from his mouth like that.” Discordia repliesLavender sprung up from the injured kidnapper and headed over to Gramps. Checking for wounds, she locates the slow bleed from under his breastplate. Releasing the armor from the dwarf’s torso, Lavender applies pressure to the wound.“I don’t know how much I can do here; he’s going to need healing if he’s going to survive the night.” Lavender advisesUrgent moaning came from the back of the room from the prisoner the halfling had threatened. Lord Horatius and the enermancer ceased their fighting over the flint stone long enough to watch Slyphwhisper remove the binds and gag from the hostage. Long blonde hair cascaded around an innocent face of beauty. The hexblade and enermancer put aside their feud to attempt a quick grooming, to which Discordia was immediately put off by. “I’m a cleric. I can help.” The sultry voice spoke “Our old man over there got hurt and needs something to staunch the wild horses from pouncing on cotton monocles.” Lord Horatius speaks upSlyphwhisper kicks the hexblade in the shin, “act like you’ve seen a female of your race before.” The gnome reprimands“What god do you pray to?” The enermancer inquires“Um, like she’s got blonde hair and lives in the woods. I love trees and animals and she digs them to so it was so totally a super combination of her power and my inventiveness that’s just an awesome pairing. Hee hee.” The woman replies“Oh yeah, she’ll fit right in, as in you two idiot’s missing gestalt.” Slyphwhisper comments“Can you heal our dwarf?” The enermancer asks“I can try, he looks really bad off. I think I have an orison that may help him.” The woman answersAs the cleric espouses her lack of clericalism Slyphwhisper catches movement just to his left and turns to what he thought was the bedroll of a hill giant only to realize it was alive. The gnome cuts the bonds free from what ends up being the fattest human he’s ever seen. “I have something that will help the dwarf.” The woman states and she discomfitedly rises from her seated position and agilely wades over to the dwarf. Reaching into her robes she produces a potion and dumps its contents into Gramps’ mouth.The dwarf sputters back to life as the healing potion takes effect. “Wow, what god do you pray to that gives you drinking bottles” the cleric questions“I am Helga, I know not why I have been detained here but I wish to exact revenge upon my captors.” The rotund woman introduces herself“Wait, wait if we’re letting Hefty Helga follow us around then I demand that, what’s your name dear?” Lord Horatius asks the cleric“Tethys.” The cleric replies“That Tethys be allowed to join the party.” The hexblade finishes“Why would you want her she can’t even tell you which god she prays to and she’s not the one who saved Gramps.” Slyphwhisper counters“What spells do you have?” Lord Horatius asks“Well I prayed for fireball.” Tethys answers“She’s in.” the pyromaniac hexblade drools“Yay!” Tethys celebrates while jumping up and down, hypnotizing the two human males“What? What god gives their clerics fireball?” Discordia speaks up“Who cares, the fact the she’s got fireball clinches it for me.” Lord Horatius explains“Oh I don’t have fireball, I just pray for it every day. I haven’t gotten it thus far but I figure I’m so totally wearing down the dude I pray to resolve.” Tethys replies“I thought you said your god was a woman?” The enermancer interjects“Oh this is rich; she’s definitely in because you can’t buy this kind of stupidity even in the abyss.” Discordia</blockquote>

Verification