Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Next
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
Twitch
YouTube
Facebook (EN Publishing)
Facebook (EN World)
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
The
VOIDRUNNER'S CODEX
is coming! Explore new worlds, fight oppressive empires, fend off fearsome aliens, and wield deadly psionics with this comprehensive boxed set expansion for 5E and A5E!
Community
Playing the Game
Story Hour
of Defects and Nuisances
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hairy Minotaur" data-source="post: 4616080" data-attributes="member: 11574"><p><strong>Anything you can do, I can do better</strong></p><p></p><p>Slyphwhisper uses the distraction the insane enermancer and the mobile gateway to the plane of gravity create by swatting at tiny insects, to advance on the far chair and the crown that was laid upon its seat. The silver headpiece remains untarnished after all these years of neglect. Slyphwhisper pegs the crown as magical due to the impeccable condition the crown is in. The front of the headpiece is fashioned to appear as the upper jaw of a jackal complete with ears flanged up either side of the headpiece, the wrap around is formed to appear as dark bat wings that just touch in the back to complete the circle. Giving the chair a thorough look over for any obvious traps (as he had no formal skill yet fell into the party’s stereotypical rogue role) and then reached out and grabbed the crown off the chair. It felt odd in his head, alien to the touch almost, shirking it off as effects of the crown itself, Slyphwhisper placed the item in his backpack for further investigation later with a useful rogue skill he did have. Discordia giggled at the little man’s attention to the crown, as she had already determined the head jewelry was not magical in nature. </p><p></p><p>Helga shoved the enermancer away from her and brushed off the debris remaining from the destroyed coins that had fallen upon her. Glancing to her left she spied a sword, a cloak and a small metal object lying on the chairs starting from next to the crown and wrapping around to the entry door. Helga went for the sword first; knowing that resale of a weapon is much higher than for a used dusty cloak, especially one that a gnoll had worn. Remembering the embarrassment at the coins chair, Helga examines the chair thoroughly and discovers it is indeed trapped. Some kind of spring mechanism is waiting underneath the chair’s seat to go off. Helga tried to discern the proper way to disarm the trap; she had narrowed down her options to either applying pressure to the seat in order to force it lower a bit and then unhooking the spring or taking the whole chair apart systematically. Impatient she goes with the pressure option, standing up and facing the chair, Helga positions herself next to the chair’s seat and while removing the curved blade, she scoots her massive frame unto the chair to take the place of the sword’s weight. The chair manages a weak cry of death before utterly collapsing under the pressure of the pachyderm-o-sapien setting off the falling block trap above the chair. A five foot cubic block of stone comes crashing down on the woman who somehow managed to roll her bulk off of the slight one foot dais the chairs sat on and avoid the trap.</p><p></p><p>The chair and sword were crushed as well as the muted silence of the rest of the party that had busied themselves with picking through the rest of the treasures. Lord Horatius had a momentary feeling of elation as he thought the block had crushed the enermancer, but he returned to his sallow nature once he discovered that no one in fact had been injured and wondered why the fates tormented him so with the continued existence of the insane one. </p><p></p><p>“Is there anything left of value that we might want to take Discordia?” Tethys asked in her bubbly I’m sexier than you’ll ever dream voice </p><p></p><p>“Just the candle, everything else appears to be falling apart and thus not worth our time.” Discordia answers load enough for most of the room to hear.</p><p></p><p>“Dibs!” Helga and Lord Horatius yell as they both dive for the candle.</p><p></p><p>“Then why did Slyphwhisper take the crown if it’s worthless?” Tethys wonders</p><p></p><p>The enermancer had wondered over to the women by this time and hearing Tethys' question opted to divulge his unique knowledge at this time.</p><p></p><p>“Pounded tin takes a long time to tarnish; the gnome was merely taking the item to cultivate it as a useful hat that will block the demonic voices in his head. Tin is a good barrier that keeps out disembodied voices and the demons that are inherent in every gnome’s brain are difficult to avoid, I’m impressed that our little fellow there hasn’t snapped and gone insane, killing the lot of us and using our spleens to call forth the third coming of Grazz’t to dance upon our powered spines. I consider myself lucky to awake to Susan’s light every morning as it reassures me that the gnome hasn’t become possessed yet.” The enermancer explains</p><p></p><p>Lord Horatius reaches the chair with the candle in it first, he grabs the stick with his right hand and holds aloft his prize a smile of happiness that only a fellow pyromaniac would find comforting he turns slowly to see his life flash before his eyes as the human siege tower comes crashing into him with all the momentum of an avalanche. Helga envelopes the hexblade and forces his body between the cold stone of the wall and the sweaty fat of the marshmallow woman. His body under great strain, his hand relinquishes his prize and the candle rolls down the shoulder of Helga to be scooped up by her paddle-like mitts. Helga pushes off the wall and Lord Horatius and backs away with her prize now. Fumbling through her robes, she produces some flint and goes to work on the candle’s wick. A stunned Lord Horatius stares off into the room as the blood rushes back to his faculties. </p><p></p><p>Slyphwhisper passes the last chair on the north side of the room, spying the odd piece of metal on the chair, the gnome easily palms the item and places it in his backpack next to the crown for a better look when the rest of the party is sleeping, dead, or both. The final two items were rotting and were left untouched, a cloak and a crossbow, as the party backs out of the room and they head across the hallway to the next door south of the entry chamber. Listening to the door, Slyphwhisper deems the room safe to enter. Gramps slowly pushes the door open and the smell of ale and blood readily assails the party’s noses.</p><p></p><p>“Look sharp, there’s killin’ afoot.” Gramps warns</p><p></p><p>The rectangle room is thirty by twenty; several cupboards line the walls to right and also across from the door. Another exit lies in wait at the southwest corner. Boxes and crates along the southern wall belie the function of this room as a storage room. Lord Horatius storms over to the southern wall where a lone barrel sits quietly; its top shows signs of scratches as if it has been pried off recently. A strong smell of alcohol wafts from the lid and the sides of the barrel. The hexblade licks his lips in anticipation of a drink, using his dagger Lord Horatius forces open the lid to reveal the dead body of a gnoll that has bled out to half the volume of the barrel, a strong tang of blood drifts out from the makeshift coffin. Lord Horatius backs away disappointed and turns back to the party shrugging his shoulders at the loss of drink. </p><p> </p><p>Gramps saw the shadow first; a small creature had climbed up the backside of the barrel and was leaping through the air. Lord Horatius was caught unaware as the assailant planted twin daggers into both sides of the hexblade’s clavicle. Lord Horatius yelled in alarm as Gramps raced up eager for a fight. Lavender quickly shot the bleeding man with her healing power as Discordia and Tethys moved to get better ranged options as the small figure was using the front of Lord Horatius as a shield. Slyphwhisper circled around to the opposite side of the hexblade from Gramps. The small pale female gnome barred her teeth and hissed at Slyphwhisper. Gramps set up a perfect flank for Slyphwhisper but the neither man was able to get the female deep gnome to open her defense up. Using the kneeling Lord Horatius who was getting healed as fast as the deep gnome was shoving her daggers deeper into his flesh, the female gnome kept Slyphwhisper and Gramps at bay. </p><p></p><p>“She’s possessed! Put your tin headpiece on her to get the voices to stop.” The enermancer cries out his vocal assistance. </p><p></p><p>Slyphwhisper shifted tactics and decided to try and feint the gnome to get her off-balance. The deep gnome was unimpressed with the amateur gnome and turned the tables on Slyphwhisper by showing him a feint of her own, the false move brought Slyphwhisper’s arm up in defense. The deep gnome dislodged the dagger from Lord Horatius’ left shoulder and shoved it hilt deep into the right rib cage of Slyphwhisper. The gnome whimpered in pain and twisted away quickly, Gramps tried to capitalize on the shift of attention, but the deep gnome was too quick and deftly dodged the lumbering dwarf. The deep gnome then replaced the missing dagger in the hexblade’s left shoulder with one from her belt. </p><p></p><p>“Crap, I’m going to run out of healing in a few seconds and we haven’t hit her and she’s downed two of ours already.” Lavender announces</p><p></p><p>Tethys fires <em>magic missiles</em> at the deep gnome, they hit her unerringly causing her to back off from the hexblade but leave her daggers still placed in his shoulders. Lord Horatius falls forward on his face, exhausted from the constant pain and healing that he had spent enduring for the last few moments. Slyphwhisper writhed in agony as he took shallow breaths trying not to rip the muscle even further. Blood was filling the back of his throat as his lung was quickly drowning from the wound. Discordia then backed the gnome up even further by blasting her with an eldritch bolt. The deep gnome skipped to the far door and retreated through it, slamming the door shut behind her. </p><p></p><p>Gramps removes the daggers from Lord Horatius and Lavender spends her last reserves bringing him back to consciousness, Tethys pulls the dagger from Slyphwhisper’s side and uses her healing magic to reduce the angry wound to a mere seeping hole. The enermancer races to the door the deep gnome exited and throwing it open expecting to find a waiting adversary is disappointed to find an empty hallway; he leaves the room to follow the small footprints as they head off to the east. Helga hands Tethys a bottle of liquid from under her robes and goes about kicking in the crates lined against the south wall.</p><p></p><p>“What are you doing?” Lavender questions the hefty woman</p><p></p><p>“Looking for the Jack-in-the-box.” Helga responds and returns to kicking in the crates</p><p></p><p>The noise in the room can be heard in the hallway as the enermancer creeps up to the bend in the hallway to the north, he sees the open door the party just entered through and feels a small hand on his back. Twisting quickly and aiming low he narrowly misses Slyphwhisper.</p><p></p><p>“What the hell?” The gnome questions</p><p></p><p>“What? Your hand was small, I’m hunting a gnome. What did you expect?” The enermancer answers</p><p></p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry. Which way did the B**** go?” Slyphwhisper demands</p><p></p><p>“Well, I think she’s stalking the rest of the party and has re-entered the room through the door we entered.” The enermancer relates</p><p></p><p>“What? Then what in the hell are you doing just standing there?” Slyphwhisper yells </p><p></p><p>“I thought you were attacking me remember?” The enermancer replies as the gnome races up to the door in question, peering in he sees a chaotic scene as the deep gnome has downed Lavender with twin kidney shots. </p><p></p><p>Gramps and Helga are trying to force the gnome back to the door so that Tethys can get to the bleeding Lavender without worry of harassment from the deep gnome. Slyphwhisper blocks the door and attempts to feint the deep gnome again but fails and takes a slash to his left forearm for the failure. The party backs the deep gnome into a double flank and a ranged aggravation from Discordia. The deep gnome manages to keep her defense up for a few seconds longer before the enermancer manages to slice into her shoulder, causing a cascading effect that brings down the deep gnome from a pummeling from the rest of the party’s attackers. </p><p></p><p>Tethys stabilizes Lavender and the party regroups by stripping the deep gnome of everything on her body and then stuffing the paler naked form into the top of the gnoll corpse and then the lid is hammered back into place. Their healing used up and not looking for another fight, the party elects to go across the hall and make a resting stand in that room as there is only one door into the room. Helga passes out two more healing potions as the enermancer stands guard at the doorway by emptying his water skin unto the dusty floor and shaping the mud into little figures.</p><p></p><p>“What hell are you about to subject us to now?” Slyphwhisper implores</p><p></p><p>“Quiet, giving birth is a complicated matter.” The enermancer replies</p><p></p><p>“What?” comes the gnome’s response</p><p></p><p>“I’m birthing some mudbaby protectors who will watch over us as we sleep.” The enermancer replies</p><p></p><p>“We’re not sleeping here and you’ve got mental issues that are going to prevent me from ever sleeping while you’re on watch.” Slyphwhisper answers</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hairy Minotaur, post: 4616080, member: 11574"] [b]Anything you can do, I can do better[/b] Slyphwhisper uses the distraction the insane enermancer and the mobile gateway to the plane of gravity create by swatting at tiny insects, to advance on the far chair and the crown that was laid upon its seat. The silver headpiece remains untarnished after all these years of neglect. Slyphwhisper pegs the crown as magical due to the impeccable condition the crown is in. The front of the headpiece is fashioned to appear as the upper jaw of a jackal complete with ears flanged up either side of the headpiece, the wrap around is formed to appear as dark bat wings that just touch in the back to complete the circle. Giving the chair a thorough look over for any obvious traps (as he had no formal skill yet fell into the party’s stereotypical rogue role) and then reached out and grabbed the crown off the chair. It felt odd in his head, alien to the touch almost, shirking it off as effects of the crown itself, Slyphwhisper placed the item in his backpack for further investigation later with a useful rogue skill he did have. Discordia giggled at the little man’s attention to the crown, as she had already determined the head jewelry was not magical in nature. Helga shoved the enermancer away from her and brushed off the debris remaining from the destroyed coins that had fallen upon her. Glancing to her left she spied a sword, a cloak and a small metal object lying on the chairs starting from next to the crown and wrapping around to the entry door. Helga went for the sword first; knowing that resale of a weapon is much higher than for a used dusty cloak, especially one that a gnoll had worn. Remembering the embarrassment at the coins chair, Helga examines the chair thoroughly and discovers it is indeed trapped. Some kind of spring mechanism is waiting underneath the chair’s seat to go off. Helga tried to discern the proper way to disarm the trap; she had narrowed down her options to either applying pressure to the seat in order to force it lower a bit and then unhooking the spring or taking the whole chair apart systematically. Impatient she goes with the pressure option, standing up and facing the chair, Helga positions herself next to the chair’s seat and while removing the curved blade, she scoots her massive frame unto the chair to take the place of the sword’s weight. The chair manages a weak cry of death before utterly collapsing under the pressure of the pachyderm-o-sapien setting off the falling block trap above the chair. A five foot cubic block of stone comes crashing down on the woman who somehow managed to roll her bulk off of the slight one foot dais the chairs sat on and avoid the trap. The chair and sword were crushed as well as the muted silence of the rest of the party that had busied themselves with picking through the rest of the treasures. Lord Horatius had a momentary feeling of elation as he thought the block had crushed the enermancer, but he returned to his sallow nature once he discovered that no one in fact had been injured and wondered why the fates tormented him so with the continued existence of the insane one. “Is there anything left of value that we might want to take Discordia?” Tethys asked in her bubbly I’m sexier than you’ll ever dream voice “Just the candle, everything else appears to be falling apart and thus not worth our time.” Discordia answers load enough for most of the room to hear. “Dibs!” Helga and Lord Horatius yell as they both dive for the candle. “Then why did Slyphwhisper take the crown if it’s worthless?” Tethys wonders The enermancer had wondered over to the women by this time and hearing Tethys' question opted to divulge his unique knowledge at this time. “Pounded tin takes a long time to tarnish; the gnome was merely taking the item to cultivate it as a useful hat that will block the demonic voices in his head. Tin is a good barrier that keeps out disembodied voices and the demons that are inherent in every gnome’s brain are difficult to avoid, I’m impressed that our little fellow there hasn’t snapped and gone insane, killing the lot of us and using our spleens to call forth the third coming of Grazz’t to dance upon our powered spines. I consider myself lucky to awake to Susan’s light every morning as it reassures me that the gnome hasn’t become possessed yet.” The enermancer explains Lord Horatius reaches the chair with the candle in it first, he grabs the stick with his right hand and holds aloft his prize a smile of happiness that only a fellow pyromaniac would find comforting he turns slowly to see his life flash before his eyes as the human siege tower comes crashing into him with all the momentum of an avalanche. Helga envelopes the hexblade and forces his body between the cold stone of the wall and the sweaty fat of the marshmallow woman. His body under great strain, his hand relinquishes his prize and the candle rolls down the shoulder of Helga to be scooped up by her paddle-like mitts. Helga pushes off the wall and Lord Horatius and backs away with her prize now. Fumbling through her robes, she produces some flint and goes to work on the candle’s wick. A stunned Lord Horatius stares off into the room as the blood rushes back to his faculties. Slyphwhisper passes the last chair on the north side of the room, spying the odd piece of metal on the chair, the gnome easily palms the item and places it in his backpack next to the crown for a better look when the rest of the party is sleeping, dead, or both. The final two items were rotting and were left untouched, a cloak and a crossbow, as the party backs out of the room and they head across the hallway to the next door south of the entry chamber. Listening to the door, Slyphwhisper deems the room safe to enter. Gramps slowly pushes the door open and the smell of ale and blood readily assails the party’s noses. “Look sharp, there’s killin’ afoot.” Gramps warns The rectangle room is thirty by twenty; several cupboards line the walls to right and also across from the door. Another exit lies in wait at the southwest corner. Boxes and crates along the southern wall belie the function of this room as a storage room. Lord Horatius storms over to the southern wall where a lone barrel sits quietly; its top shows signs of scratches as if it has been pried off recently. A strong smell of alcohol wafts from the lid and the sides of the barrel. The hexblade licks his lips in anticipation of a drink, using his dagger Lord Horatius forces open the lid to reveal the dead body of a gnoll that has bled out to half the volume of the barrel, a strong tang of blood drifts out from the makeshift coffin. Lord Horatius backs away disappointed and turns back to the party shrugging his shoulders at the loss of drink. Gramps saw the shadow first; a small creature had climbed up the backside of the barrel and was leaping through the air. Lord Horatius was caught unaware as the assailant planted twin daggers into both sides of the hexblade’s clavicle. Lord Horatius yelled in alarm as Gramps raced up eager for a fight. Lavender quickly shot the bleeding man with her healing power as Discordia and Tethys moved to get better ranged options as the small figure was using the front of Lord Horatius as a shield. Slyphwhisper circled around to the opposite side of the hexblade from Gramps. The small pale female gnome barred her teeth and hissed at Slyphwhisper. Gramps set up a perfect flank for Slyphwhisper but the neither man was able to get the female deep gnome to open her defense up. Using the kneeling Lord Horatius who was getting healed as fast as the deep gnome was shoving her daggers deeper into his flesh, the female gnome kept Slyphwhisper and Gramps at bay. “She’s possessed! Put your tin headpiece on her to get the voices to stop.” The enermancer cries out his vocal assistance. Slyphwhisper shifted tactics and decided to try and feint the gnome to get her off-balance. The deep gnome was unimpressed with the amateur gnome and turned the tables on Slyphwhisper by showing him a feint of her own, the false move brought Slyphwhisper’s arm up in defense. The deep gnome dislodged the dagger from Lord Horatius’ left shoulder and shoved it hilt deep into the right rib cage of Slyphwhisper. The gnome whimpered in pain and twisted away quickly, Gramps tried to capitalize on the shift of attention, but the deep gnome was too quick and deftly dodged the lumbering dwarf. The deep gnome then replaced the missing dagger in the hexblade’s left shoulder with one from her belt. “Crap, I’m going to run out of healing in a few seconds and we haven’t hit her and she’s downed two of ours already.” Lavender announces Tethys fires [I]magic missiles[/I] at the deep gnome, they hit her unerringly causing her to back off from the hexblade but leave her daggers still placed in his shoulders. Lord Horatius falls forward on his face, exhausted from the constant pain and healing that he had spent enduring for the last few moments. Slyphwhisper writhed in agony as he took shallow breaths trying not to rip the muscle even further. Blood was filling the back of his throat as his lung was quickly drowning from the wound. Discordia then backed the gnome up even further by blasting her with an eldritch bolt. The deep gnome skipped to the far door and retreated through it, slamming the door shut behind her. Gramps removes the daggers from Lord Horatius and Lavender spends her last reserves bringing him back to consciousness, Tethys pulls the dagger from Slyphwhisper’s side and uses her healing magic to reduce the angry wound to a mere seeping hole. The enermancer races to the door the deep gnome exited and throwing it open expecting to find a waiting adversary is disappointed to find an empty hallway; he leaves the room to follow the small footprints as they head off to the east. Helga hands Tethys a bottle of liquid from under her robes and goes about kicking in the crates lined against the south wall. “What are you doing?” Lavender questions the hefty woman “Looking for the Jack-in-the-box.” Helga responds and returns to kicking in the crates The noise in the room can be heard in the hallway as the enermancer creeps up to the bend in the hallway to the north, he sees the open door the party just entered through and feels a small hand on his back. Twisting quickly and aiming low he narrowly misses Slyphwhisper. “What the hell?” The gnome questions “What? Your hand was small, I’m hunting a gnome. What did you expect?” The enermancer answers “Okay, I’m sorry. Which way did the B**** go?” Slyphwhisper demands “Well, I think she’s stalking the rest of the party and has re-entered the room through the door we entered.” The enermancer relates “What? Then what in the hell are you doing just standing there?” Slyphwhisper yells “I thought you were attacking me remember?” The enermancer replies as the gnome races up to the door in question, peering in he sees a chaotic scene as the deep gnome has downed Lavender with twin kidney shots. Gramps and Helga are trying to force the gnome back to the door so that Tethys can get to the bleeding Lavender without worry of harassment from the deep gnome. Slyphwhisper blocks the door and attempts to feint the deep gnome again but fails and takes a slash to his left forearm for the failure. The party backs the deep gnome into a double flank and a ranged aggravation from Discordia. The deep gnome manages to keep her defense up for a few seconds longer before the enermancer manages to slice into her shoulder, causing a cascading effect that brings down the deep gnome from a pummeling from the rest of the party’s attackers. Tethys stabilizes Lavender and the party regroups by stripping the deep gnome of everything on her body and then stuffing the paler naked form into the top of the gnoll corpse and then the lid is hammered back into place. Their healing used up and not looking for another fight, the party elects to go across the hall and make a resting stand in that room as there is only one door into the room. Helga passes out two more healing potions as the enermancer stands guard at the doorway by emptying his water skin unto the dusty floor and shaping the mud into little figures. “What hell are you about to subject us to now?” Slyphwhisper implores “Quiet, giving birth is a complicated matter.” The enermancer replies “What?” comes the gnome’s response “I’m birthing some mudbaby protectors who will watch over us as we sleep.” The enermancer replies “We’re not sleeping here and you’ve got mental issues that are going to prevent me from ever sleeping while you’re on watch.” Slyphwhisper answers [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
Playing the Game
Story Hour
of Defects and Nuisances
Top