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<blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 2115150" data-attributes="member: 1210"><p><strong>To Aid the Urds</strong></p><p></p><p><em><strong>5/20/369 O.L.G.</strong></em></p><p>The urds are a strange race. Their little scaly wings are a definite improvement on the standard kobold model (just ask them and they’ll tell you), and were their kind more clever they could probably rise to some level of prominence. After all, they breed quickly. Only their racial ineptitude and stupidity prevented them from becoming more influential in the world around them.</p><p></p><p>Usually, urds- like kobolds- are at the bottom of whatever pecking order they are a part of. Here, on the islands our heroes will shortly christen the Dogtooth Islands, is no exception. The urds are spat on and kicked around even by the goblins. It’s just the way things are, and the urds accept it with the sort of fatalism known only by those used to be kicked around by goblins. But lately, things have gotten much worse. Some new Master has taken control of the isle’s bigwigs, and they in turn have gotten much more careless with urd lives. The urds are being worked too hard; so their chief set out to make a deal with the outsiders who were so disturbing things outside.</p><p></p><p>Thus our heroes, after a journey fraught with the perils of goblin scouts, giant bats and worse, have met with the urd chief and agreed to help him in return for a safe place to rest. They have taken their ease for a day, resting and recovering from their long flight; and now they prepare to delve deep towards the Master of the island.</p><p></p><p>Federico sighs unhappily as the party leaves the urd chambers. He’s had rather too much romance here. One of the chief’s daughters secretly sought him out for some sweet lovemaking, and the next day the chief arranged to marry Federico to his daughter with Jawbreaker. Feddie had made the obvious assumption, that it was his lover, but after acquiescing unhappily (he really didn’t have much choice in the matter; it was all arranged by the chiefs), he discovered to his horror that the urd had betrothed him to a <em>different</em> daughter. Will his affair with his betrothed’s sister come out? How much of an insult will this prove to the urds if it does? Is there some kind of out? The kobold worries about it. <em>Hopefully overthrowing this Master will count for something,</em> he thinks.</p><p></p><p>Well, at least Chief Jawbreaker offered to carry his few items. With his meager strength, Federico can barely manage to bear a crossbow and some bolts, much less any actual gear.* Without Ethel... he sniffs... without Ethel to bear his burdens, he must burden his friends. He needs a new dog as soon as possible. </p><p></p><p>Following the urds’ directions our heroes travel through secret passages known only to the winged kobolds. Eventually they work their way into an artificial passageway and start hurrying along. Almost instantly they find an intersection- and goblin guards.</p><p></p><p>Federico immediately starts japing at the goblins while the Beau and Jawbreaker spring forward, drawing their weapons. A harsh babble rises from the throats of the goblins as they start to fall back. One of them, then another, falls. Another flees down a different passage, and then it’s just the hooded ettin.</p><p></p><p>Behind them, down one arm of the passage, a large door opens and a hulking ettin stalks out. His heads are both hooded; his skin has a yellow jaundiced look. With a roar, it advances, obviously wary. But its slow forward movement allows Beau time to hit it with a <em>ray of enfeeblement</em>, so it retreats swiftly to the chamber it emerged from.</p><p></p><p>Jawbreaker snarls and rushes to the door. He flings it open, and right behind him, Timothy casts a <em>flaming sphere</em> onto the ettin. </p><p></p><p>The ettin has retreated to a room full of preserved jars of body parts. One particularly large jar at the end of the room flickers with electricity. A disembodied brain floats in a solution of brine within it. </p><p></p><p>Suddenly, Jawbreaker reels and then whirls around to strike at Beau! “Aagh!” the rogue cries, “Jawbreaker, no!”</p><p></p><p>Then, suddenly, Beau cries out as a smashing pain tears into his head. Blood begins to trickle from his ear. “Watch out,” he groans, “it has psionic powers like Naomi!”</p><p></p><p>Timothy frowns. Naomi isn’t very nice. And his new spectacles show a black, flickering aura around the brain in the jar. He moves his <em>flaming sphere</em> onto the jar, then hits the ettin with a brace of <em>magic missiles.</em> He hears the japing kobold fire his crossbow at the two-headed giant as well. </p><p></p><p>Then, suddenly, the ettin charges Federico, slamming him with a blow from his club. The kobold staggers back, more than impressed by the power of the blow, and does the only thing he really can: he reloads.</p><p></p><p>Jawbreaker, meanwhile, is pressing Beau hard. Beau is focusing his attacks on the jar, using his bow, and though the jar is cracking, Beau is increasingly unsure whether he’ll live long enough to break it open. “Jawbreaker, resist it!” he cries. “The brain is controlling you! You’ve got to fight it!”</p><p></p><p>Jawbreaker hesitates for one second. Beau tumbles back, trying to get under a table covered in jars of organs, but Jawbreaker is too savvy. He strikes Beau with another mighty blow, and the rogue collapses in a bloody heap on the floor. Then the barbarian turns to strike Timothy. The sorcerer shouts out, “Chief Jawbreaker, no! As your advisor I advise you not to do this!!”</p><p></p><p>He drops back a few feet, hitting the ettin jaw with another <em>flaming sphere.</em> Suddenly it bursts, liquid flowing out and a shriveled grey brain flopping to the ground. Immediately Jawbreaker’s hand flies to his forehead and he gasps, free of the mental influence of the brain.</p><p></p><p>“Good job, Timothy,” Federico calls, and then fires another bolt at the ettin. This one slices into the ettin’s ankle, destroying the joint and blowing a hole in it! The ettin howls and jerks, and its foot comes off with a sick burst of blood, and the creature collapses. </p><p></p><p>“We’ve done it!” cries Timothy. Federico, meanwhile, hurries over to Beau and uses a <em>cure light wounds</em> on him, preventing his imminent death.</p><p></p><p>The party just begins to look around the room when Federico calls out, “I hear approaching goblins!” With a collective curse, our heroes prepare to defend themselves yet again. </p><p></p><p>”Was that really the master?” wonders Timothy.</p><p></p><p>Then the a small group of goblins herded by a bugbear arrives, and there is a minute where it looks ugly; but Timothy whips out his <em>wand of lightning bolts</em> and teaches the bugbear a thing or two. The goblins fall, except the last one, which begs for mercy and gets it, in an unexpected fashion.</p><p></p><p>“What your name?” demands Jawbreaker. Timothy translates.</p><p></p><p>“Coxith,” the trembling goblin answers.</p><p></p><p>“NO!” roars Jawbreaker. “Your name is <em>Ethel!!</em>” The goblin cringes back. Soon it is made to understand, and it is bearing Federico’s gear.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p><em><strong>5/23/369 O.L.G., the brain in the jar’s dungeon</strong></em> </p><p></p><p>The brain in the jar was indeed the Master, and without its direction the island’s unity begins to fall apart. A particularly dangerous bugbear shaman who was trying to unify several tribes of goblins under his rule falls in battle with our heroes when they go to explore the brain in a jar’s realm more thoroughly, but mostly the collapse happens on its own. They give ‘Ethel’ a backpack to help him carry stuff, for which he is profoundly grateful. </p><p></p><p>The dungeon yields its secrets; it is fairly small, and most of the inhabitants have already been slain by our heroes. The trash heap proves very traditional, having an otyugh at its center and a good number of fat, large rats. Our heroes do a little extermination, then find the otyugh’s treasure among the filth. They manage to separate out 248gp. In addition they find a small diamond and, with the aid of a <em>detect magic,</em> a scroll. Federico casts <em>read magic</em> on it; it contains <em>enlarge person, silent image,</em> and a rare spell called <em>paint memory</em>.</p><p></p><p>So far things are going well. The urd chief even gives the party a chest full of 5000 coins. They’re copper, but they’re coins. Our heroes bury it along with a bunch of other copper and Timothy makes the most ridiculous treasure map ever to Chief Jawbreaker’s Treasure Horde.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p><em><strong>5/28/369 O.L.G., the island’s surface</strong></em></p><p></p><p>After a stern conversation with Federico in which the enraged urd chief makes clear that he is never to return on pain of death, the party leaves the urds’ territory in a hurry. Achtung is exiled with them. He splutters and protests, but since he has traveled briefly with them, he suffers guilt by association.</p><p></p><p>So, unhappily, the urd joins them. He whines a lot, but soon discovers that there will be regular meals. Even better, when some bacon attacks the party, he begins to see just how good everything is when it’s wrapped in bacon. As Federico is fond of saying, everything is better with bacon.</p><p></p><p><em><strong>Next Time:</strong></em> Will ‘Ethel’ survive? What will Chief Jawbreaker’s Second Treasure Horde contain? Where’s the idol?? Find out the answers next time!</p><p></p><p>*Never forget that Feddie has a strength of 1.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="the Jester, post: 2115150, member: 1210"] [b]To Aid the Urds[/b] [i][b]5/20/369 O.L.G.[/b][/i][b][/b] The urds are a strange race. Their little scaly wings are a definite improvement on the standard kobold model (just ask them and they’ll tell you), and were their kind more clever they could probably rise to some level of prominence. After all, they breed quickly. Only their racial ineptitude and stupidity prevented them from becoming more influential in the world around them. Usually, urds- like kobolds- are at the bottom of whatever pecking order they are a part of. Here, on the islands our heroes will shortly christen the Dogtooth Islands, is no exception. The urds are spat on and kicked around even by the goblins. It’s just the way things are, and the urds accept it with the sort of fatalism known only by those used to be kicked around by goblins. But lately, things have gotten much worse. Some new Master has taken control of the isle’s bigwigs, and they in turn have gotten much more careless with urd lives. The urds are being worked too hard; so their chief set out to make a deal with the outsiders who were so disturbing things outside. Thus our heroes, after a journey fraught with the perils of goblin scouts, giant bats and worse, have met with the urd chief and agreed to help him in return for a safe place to rest. They have taken their ease for a day, resting and recovering from their long flight; and now they prepare to delve deep towards the Master of the island. Federico sighs unhappily as the party leaves the urd chambers. He’s had rather too much romance here. One of the chief’s daughters secretly sought him out for some sweet lovemaking, and the next day the chief arranged to marry Federico to his daughter with Jawbreaker. Feddie had made the obvious assumption, that it was his lover, but after acquiescing unhappily (he really didn’t have much choice in the matter; it was all arranged by the chiefs), he discovered to his horror that the urd had betrothed him to a [i]different[/i] daughter. Will his affair with his betrothed’s sister come out? How much of an insult will this prove to the urds if it does? Is there some kind of out? The kobold worries about it. [i]Hopefully overthrowing this Master will count for something,[/i] he thinks. Well, at least Chief Jawbreaker offered to carry his few items. With his meager strength, Federico can barely manage to bear a crossbow and some bolts, much less any actual gear.* Without Ethel... he sniffs... without Ethel to bear his burdens, he must burden his friends. He needs a new dog as soon as possible. Following the urds’ directions our heroes travel through secret passages known only to the winged kobolds. Eventually they work their way into an artificial passageway and start hurrying along. Almost instantly they find an intersection- and goblin guards. Federico immediately starts japing at the goblins while the Beau and Jawbreaker spring forward, drawing their weapons. A harsh babble rises from the throats of the goblins as they start to fall back. One of them, then another, falls. Another flees down a different passage, and then it’s just the hooded ettin. Behind them, down one arm of the passage, a large door opens and a hulking ettin stalks out. His heads are both hooded; his skin has a yellow jaundiced look. With a roar, it advances, obviously wary. But its slow forward movement allows Beau time to hit it with a [i]ray of enfeeblement[/i], so it retreats swiftly to the chamber it emerged from. Jawbreaker snarls and rushes to the door. He flings it open, and right behind him, Timothy casts a [i]flaming sphere[/i] onto the ettin. The ettin has retreated to a room full of preserved jars of body parts. One particularly large jar at the end of the room flickers with electricity. A disembodied brain floats in a solution of brine within it. Suddenly, Jawbreaker reels and then whirls around to strike at Beau! “Aagh!” the rogue cries, “Jawbreaker, no!” Then, suddenly, Beau cries out as a smashing pain tears into his head. Blood begins to trickle from his ear. “Watch out,” he groans, “it has psionic powers like Naomi!” Timothy frowns. Naomi isn’t very nice. And his new spectacles show a black, flickering aura around the brain in the jar. He moves his [i]flaming sphere[/i] onto the jar, then hits the ettin with a brace of [i]magic missiles.[/i] He hears the japing kobold fire his crossbow at the two-headed giant as well. Then, suddenly, the ettin charges Federico, slamming him with a blow from his club. The kobold staggers back, more than impressed by the power of the blow, and does the only thing he really can: he reloads. Jawbreaker, meanwhile, is pressing Beau hard. Beau is focusing his attacks on the jar, using his bow, and though the jar is cracking, Beau is increasingly unsure whether he’ll live long enough to break it open. “Jawbreaker, resist it!” he cries. “The brain is controlling you! You’ve got to fight it!” Jawbreaker hesitates for one second. Beau tumbles back, trying to get under a table covered in jars of organs, but Jawbreaker is too savvy. He strikes Beau with another mighty blow, and the rogue collapses in a bloody heap on the floor. Then the barbarian turns to strike Timothy. The sorcerer shouts out, “Chief Jawbreaker, no! As your advisor I advise you not to do this!!” He drops back a few feet, hitting the ettin jaw with another [i]flaming sphere.[/i] Suddenly it bursts, liquid flowing out and a shriveled grey brain flopping to the ground. Immediately Jawbreaker’s hand flies to his forehead and he gasps, free of the mental influence of the brain. “Good job, Timothy,” Federico calls, and then fires another bolt at the ettin. This one slices into the ettin’s ankle, destroying the joint and blowing a hole in it! The ettin howls and jerks, and its foot comes off with a sick burst of blood, and the creature collapses. “We’ve done it!” cries Timothy. Federico, meanwhile, hurries over to Beau and uses a [i]cure light wounds[/i] on him, preventing his imminent death. The party just begins to look around the room when Federico calls out, “I hear approaching goblins!” With a collective curse, our heroes prepare to defend themselves yet again. ”Was that really the master?” wonders Timothy. Then the a small group of goblins herded by a bugbear arrives, and there is a minute where it looks ugly; but Timothy whips out his [i]wand of lightning bolts[/i] and teaches the bugbear a thing or two. The goblins fall, except the last one, which begs for mercy and gets it, in an unexpected fashion. “What your name?” demands Jawbreaker. Timothy translates. “Coxith,” the trembling goblin answers. “NO!” roars Jawbreaker. “Your name is [i]Ethel!![/i]” The goblin cringes back. Soon it is made to understand, and it is bearing Federico’s gear. *** [i][b]5/23/369 O.L.G., the brain in the jar’s dungeon[/b][/i][b][/b] The brain in the jar was indeed the Master, and without its direction the island’s unity begins to fall apart. A particularly dangerous bugbear shaman who was trying to unify several tribes of goblins under his rule falls in battle with our heroes when they go to explore the brain in a jar’s realm more thoroughly, but mostly the collapse happens on its own. They give ‘Ethel’ a backpack to help him carry stuff, for which he is profoundly grateful. The dungeon yields its secrets; it is fairly small, and most of the inhabitants have already been slain by our heroes. The trash heap proves very traditional, having an otyugh at its center and a good number of fat, large rats. Our heroes do a little extermination, then find the otyugh’s treasure among the filth. They manage to separate out 248gp. In addition they find a small diamond and, with the aid of a [i]detect magic,[/i] a scroll. Federico casts [i]read magic[/i] on it; it contains [i]enlarge person, silent image,[/i] and a rare spell called [i]paint memory[/i]. So far things are going well. The urd chief even gives the party a chest full of 5000 coins. They’re copper, but they’re coins. Our heroes bury it along with a bunch of other copper and Timothy makes the most ridiculous treasure map ever to Chief Jawbreaker’s Treasure Horde. *** [i][b]5/28/369 O.L.G., the island’s surface[/b][/i][b][/b] After a stern conversation with Federico in which the enraged urd chief makes clear that he is never to return on pain of death, the party leaves the urds’ territory in a hurry. Achtung is exiled with them. He splutters and protests, but since he has traveled briefly with them, he suffers guilt by association. So, unhappily, the urd joins them. He whines a lot, but soon discovers that there will be regular meals. Even better, when some bacon attacks the party, he begins to see just how good everything is when it’s wrapped in bacon. As Federico is fond of saying, everything is better with bacon. [i][b]Next Time:[/b][/i][b][/b] Will ‘Ethel’ survive? What will Chief Jawbreaker’s Second Treasure Horde contain? Where’s the idol?? Find out the answers next time! *Never forget that Feddie has a strength of 1. [/QUOTE]
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