Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Next
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
Twitch
YouTube
Facebook (EN Publishing)
Facebook (EN World)
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
The
VOIDRUNNER'S CODEX
is coming! Explore new worlds, fight oppressive empires, fend off fearsome aliens, and wield deadly psionics with this comprehensive boxed set expansion for 5E and A5E!
Community
Playing the Game
Story Hour
Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 3842745" data-attributes="member: 1210"><p>The giant is dull-witted and as dim as a <em>darkness</em>. He proves easy to control with the combined mind-affecting abilities of Naomi, Federico, Erasmuz and Nara.</p><p></p><p>“So what’s wrong with your beer?” asks Federico. Naomi, under the influence of Nara’s <em>tongues</em> spell, translates.</p><p></p><p>“It tastes funny,” the giant whines. “Like someone piss in it.” He frowns angrily. “I show them not to piss in beer! They want my protection, they must earn it!”</p><p></p><p>“Who would piss in the giant’s beer?” wonders Erasmuz. </p><p></p><p>“And why?” Jawbreaker adds. He frowns. “We have to investigate back at squirrel town.”</p><p></p><p>“Maybe I can appease the giant,” Naomi says. “What’s the best beer or liquor we have in the party?” </p><p></p><p>The group digs through their stores, and comes up with a bottle of dwarven spirits. Naomi pours a generous cup for the giant and instructs him to try it. “Did you like that?” she asks. </p><p></p><p>He smacks his lips and nods.</p><p></p><p>Naomi walks over to the keg of beer that the giant is displeased with and puts a drop of the dwarven spirits on her tongue. Then she channels the power of elemental water. It blazes through her body, and she grits her teeth against the power flowing through her. Then there is a flash of energy that flows into the piss-tainted beer, and Naomi’s <em>metamorphose liquids</em> takes effect, changing the beer into dwarven spirits!</p><p></p><p>“There you go,” she beams. “Now, we’re going to find out who did this and take care of it. It wasn’t the squirrel folk- they asked us to help make you happy, because they don’t want you to be unhappy. They like you.” She speaks slowly and clearly, and the dull-eyed giant listens attentively, but who can say whether he really understands her? She sighs internally, and thinks, <em>Well, I’ve done what I can to help ensure that he doesn’t hurt the kercpa.</em></p><p></p><p>The party hurries back to the squirrel town, where they speak to the same kercpa that dispatched them initially. He chitters in surprise at their news. “Who would do this?” the squirrel man cries. “Surely, none of our people! And who else would have had access?”</p><p></p><p>Federico hems and haws for a moment. Then, thoughtfully, he asks, “Do you leave cookies and milk out for your fey?”</p><p></p><p>“What? Well, we used to leave cheese out, but...”</p><p></p><p>“Ohhhh,” says Federico, “you <em>used to.</em> When did you stop?”</p><p></p><p>“Well...”</p><p></p><p>“About the same time as the trouble with the giant started, I bet?”</p><p></p><p>“Actually... now that you mention it...”</p><p></p><p>“That’s it,” the kobold pronounces firmly. “You’ve offended your fairies. They’re peeing in the beer to pay you back. You need to leave them their favorites out again. Cheese, or cookies, and milk, or mead, or whatever they like.”</p><p></p><p>“And... and you think that that will make them happy again?”</p><p></p><p>“You’ll probably have to apologize,” opines Nara. </p><p></p><p>“Yeah, and maybe do something for them,” Queffe adds, gyrating suggestively. </p><p></p><p>The party and the squirrel folk discuss their approach to making nice with the fey. Finally, it is decided that the halflings will wait near the offerings, with one of them always on watch, and will try to talk to the fey when they come for the cheese. “We can verify that they’re the cause of the problem,” Queffe says, “and find out what has to happen to smooth it over.”</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p><em><strong>Just outside of the kercpa town, 2 a.m.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>Naomi yawns. It’s her watch, and she’s sleepy; so to keep herself awake, she was snacking on some rabbit stew. It was quite tasty; now all that’s left is the bowl, which she buries her face in, her slug-like tongue pressing against the side of the bowl, lapping up every last remnant of food and grease.</p><p></p><p>With a satisfied belch, the repulsive jerren puts the bowl down. Then she glances at the bait- and is gratified to find a fairy at the cheese!</p><p></p><p>“Hello!” Naomi calls. “We mean you no harm! Stay a while, and talk!” She pushes with her mind, turning her last words into a <em>suggestion</em>. The fey hesitates, its gossamer insect wings beating the air, and then settles onto the ground next to the cheese and starts nibbling.</p><p></p><p>Naomi kicks the others awake. “So, uh, is it your folk that are pissing in the beer these folks make for the giant?”</p><p></p><p>“Yeah,” the fey answers, and giggles. “They haven’t been giving us our due!”</p><p></p><p>“We know,” the fat halfling replies. “We’re trying to help put things right. That’s why there is cheese out tonight.”</p><p></p><p>“Mmm, it’s good,” the fairy interjects.</p><p></p><p>“Good, good.” The other halflings are rising quickly.</p><p></p><p>“So, uh, will there be anything else that you require to restore the status quo?” Nara asks. </p><p></p><p>“Oh, well, as to that,” the fairy drawls, “yeah, the kercpa have already offended us. Now they need to do us a favor.”</p><p></p><p>“What favor?” asks Chief Jawbreaker.</p><p></p><p>“We need the bad gardner disposed off.”</p><p></p><p>“The who?” Queffe cocks her head.</p><p></p><p>“The bad gardner,” the fairy replies. “He has a bad garden. Fairies go in and don’t come out. The plants are... wrong, too.”</p><p></p><p>“Uh huh,” saya Erasmuz. “I bet we can help you out with that, buddy.” He grins.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>The bad gardner turns out to be an evil druid, accompanied by a dire wolf. The battle when they meet is fast and furious; the dire wolf pulls Jawbreaker from his feet and savages him, and the bad gardner uses his druidic magic to try to <em>poison</em> him; but Nara, augmented by the power of her goddess, Coila, rushes into melee after first unleashing a <em>flame strike.</em> Queffe and Erasmuz leap into the battle too, and in a few short moments it is over. </p><p></p><p>That night, after the party places the bad gardner’s head on the offering place for the fairies, the fey folk come out and thank our heroes. “All is forgiven,” they sing, giggling. “We won’t pee in the giant’s beer any more!” </p><p></p><p>“Well, I guess that worked out,” remarks Nara. </p><p></p><p>“Sure did, buddy,” Erasmuz replies.</p><p></p><p>Our heroes continue their journey inland towards the area in which they hope to find the Flapjacks. The party is returning to where their adventures started.</p><p></p><p>That night, while he is sleeping, Federico shudders, as if caught in the grip of a terrible nightmare spawned by memory or premonition- or both.</p><p></p><p><strong><em>Next Time:</em></strong> The secret of the sour cream!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="the Jester, post: 3842745, member: 1210"] The giant is dull-witted and as dim as a [i]darkness[/i]. He proves easy to control with the combined mind-affecting abilities of Naomi, Federico, Erasmuz and Nara. “So what’s wrong with your beer?” asks Federico. Naomi, under the influence of Nara’s [i]tongues[/i] spell, translates. “It tastes funny,” the giant whines. “Like someone piss in it.” He frowns angrily. “I show them not to piss in beer! They want my protection, they must earn it!” “Who would piss in the giant’s beer?” wonders Erasmuz. “And why?” Jawbreaker adds. He frowns. “We have to investigate back at squirrel town.” “Maybe I can appease the giant,” Naomi says. “What’s the best beer or liquor we have in the party?” The group digs through their stores, and comes up with a bottle of dwarven spirits. Naomi pours a generous cup for the giant and instructs him to try it. “Did you like that?” she asks. He smacks his lips and nods. Naomi walks over to the keg of beer that the giant is displeased with and puts a drop of the dwarven spirits on her tongue. Then she channels the power of elemental water. It blazes through her body, and she grits her teeth against the power flowing through her. Then there is a flash of energy that flows into the piss-tainted beer, and Naomi’s [i]metamorphose liquids[/i] takes effect, changing the beer into dwarven spirits! “There you go,” she beams. “Now, we’re going to find out who did this and take care of it. It wasn’t the squirrel folk- they asked us to help make you happy, because they don’t want you to be unhappy. They like you.” She speaks slowly and clearly, and the dull-eyed giant listens attentively, but who can say whether he really understands her? She sighs internally, and thinks, [i]Well, I’ve done what I can to help ensure that he doesn’t hurt the kercpa.[/i] The party hurries back to the squirrel town, where they speak to the same kercpa that dispatched them initially. He chitters in surprise at their news. “Who would do this?” the squirrel man cries. “Surely, none of our people! And who else would have had access?” Federico hems and haws for a moment. Then, thoughtfully, he asks, “Do you leave cookies and milk out for your fey?” “What? Well, we used to leave cheese out, but...” “Ohhhh,” says Federico, “you [i]used to.[/i] When did you stop?” “Well...” “About the same time as the trouble with the giant started, I bet?” “Actually... now that you mention it...” “That’s it,” the kobold pronounces firmly. “You’ve offended your fairies. They’re peeing in the beer to pay you back. You need to leave them their favorites out again. Cheese, or cookies, and milk, or mead, or whatever they like.” “And... and you think that that will make them happy again?” “You’ll probably have to apologize,” opines Nara. “Yeah, and maybe do something for them,” Queffe adds, gyrating suggestively. The party and the squirrel folk discuss their approach to making nice with the fey. Finally, it is decided that the halflings will wait near the offerings, with one of them always on watch, and will try to talk to the fey when they come for the cheese. “We can verify that they’re the cause of the problem,” Queffe says, “and find out what has to happen to smooth it over.” *** [i][b]Just outside of the kercpa town, 2 a.m.[/b][/i][b][/b] Naomi yawns. It’s her watch, and she’s sleepy; so to keep herself awake, she was snacking on some rabbit stew. It was quite tasty; now all that’s left is the bowl, which she buries her face in, her slug-like tongue pressing against the side of the bowl, lapping up every last remnant of food and grease. With a satisfied belch, the repulsive jerren puts the bowl down. Then she glances at the bait- and is gratified to find a fairy at the cheese! “Hello!” Naomi calls. “We mean you no harm! Stay a while, and talk!” She pushes with her mind, turning her last words into a [i]suggestion[/i]. The fey hesitates, its gossamer insect wings beating the air, and then settles onto the ground next to the cheese and starts nibbling. Naomi kicks the others awake. “So, uh, is it your folk that are pissing in the beer these folks make for the giant?” “Yeah,” the fey answers, and giggles. “They haven’t been giving us our due!” “We know,” the fat halfling replies. “We’re trying to help put things right. That’s why there is cheese out tonight.” “Mmm, it’s good,” the fairy interjects. “Good, good.” The other halflings are rising quickly. “So, uh, will there be anything else that you require to restore the status quo?” Nara asks. “Oh, well, as to that,” the fairy drawls, “yeah, the kercpa have already offended us. Now they need to do us a favor.” “What favor?” asks Chief Jawbreaker. “We need the bad gardner disposed off.” “The who?” Queffe cocks her head. “The bad gardner,” the fairy replies. “He has a bad garden. Fairies go in and don’t come out. The plants are... wrong, too.” “Uh huh,” saya Erasmuz. “I bet we can help you out with that, buddy.” He grins. *** The bad gardner turns out to be an evil druid, accompanied by a dire wolf. The battle when they meet is fast and furious; the dire wolf pulls Jawbreaker from his feet and savages him, and the bad gardner uses his druidic magic to try to [i]poison[/i] him; but Nara, augmented by the power of her goddess, Coila, rushes into melee after first unleashing a [i]flame strike.[/i] Queffe and Erasmuz leap into the battle too, and in a few short moments it is over. That night, after the party places the bad gardner’s head on the offering place for the fairies, the fey folk come out and thank our heroes. “All is forgiven,” they sing, giggling. “We won’t pee in the giant’s beer any more!” “Well, I guess that worked out,” remarks Nara. “Sure did, buddy,” Erasmuz replies. Our heroes continue their journey inland towards the area in which they hope to find the Flapjacks. The party is returning to where their adventures started. That night, while he is sleeping, Federico shudders, as if caught in the grip of a terrible nightmare spawned by memory or premonition- or both. [b][i]Next Time:[/i][/b] The secret of the sour cream! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
Playing the Game
Story Hour
Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way
Top