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<blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 4352541" data-attributes="member: 1210"><p>The party walks along at a leisurely place. They can see trees with lollipops hanging like fruit in the distance, but (their guide explains) they cannot reach them. “They lie in the true Promised Land, not here on the border.”</p><p></p><p>“Like those fields of bread I saw, while I was flying in eagle form,” Ari exclaims. </p><p></p><p>The guide nods. “Exactly.”</p><p></p><p>Up ahead, a cheerful-looking cottage with many chimneys comes into view. The smell of baking and cooking is strong. Our heroes quicken their pace, and soon they arrive at the cottage. “The Trial of Cooking,” their guide announces. “Cook like halflings.” With a smile, he takes his leave of them.</p><p></p><p>The party moves inside the cottage. Its interior is very large. It is dominated by a bank of huge ovens; wood stoves, as well as several firepits, are in the place as well. The walls are covered in shelves and cabinets of cooking-related materials: spices, flour, cutlery, dishes and more. It is the most impressively-stocked kitchen that any of our heroes have ever seen.</p><p></p><p>“Good,” Jawbreaker says, and smiles broadly. “We get to work.”</p><p></p><p>The party rolls up their collective sleeves and begins to put things together.* Ari finds the best wood for the fire while Naomi uses her considerable cooking skills to start an intriguing chocolate horseradish chicken dish. Jawbreaker uses his sharp sense of smell to sniff out appropriate spices and ingredients. Erasmuz bluffs the others into thinking he’s helping.</p><p></p><p>Soon enough the delicious smell of Naomi’s chicken dish becomes tempting. She fends off her friends for a little longer, and then they eat. Nom nom nom! Ahhh, delicious. As always, Naomi’s cooking skills come through for our heroes. </p><p></p><p>When they leave, their guide is waiting for us. “Well, how are we doing?” Ari asks.</p><p></p><p>The guide shrugs. “I don’t know. It looks good to me so far, but the Promised Land itself will judge you.” He sniffs the air. “Hmm, what did you make?”</p><p></p><p>Naomi and the guide get into an animated discussion about cooking for a few moments. But they are eager to continue along their quest, and to reach the Promised Land at last. </p><p></p><p>Next is the Trial of Dessert. </p><p></p><p>“You’ll need to go get it,” the guide explains. “It is kept in the back of a cave.”</p><p></p><p>“A cave!” exclaims Ari. “Should we get our weapons and armor?”</p><p></p><p>“You won’t need them,” the guide replies. “You are just getting dessert.”</p><p></p><p>“Okay,” Ari agrees dubiously.</p><p></p><p>“What’s for dessert, anyway?” Nara asks. “And why is it kept in a cave?”</p><p></p><p>The guide smiles. “It has to be kept in the cave in order to keep it cold- the back of the cave is an ice cave, you see. It will be delicious, I promise you. It is a mix of fruit juices with crushed up ice- similar to a sherbet. It is astonishingly good.”</p><p></p><p>Our heroes exchange a collective glance. “All right,” declares Ari, “let’s go!”</p><p></p><p>The guide gives our heroes very simple directions to the cave, and Erasmuz casts <em>wind walk</em> on all of them. In vaporous form, it takes them all of twenty seconds to reach the cave, and then they land and rematerialize. On foot, then, the party treks inside. The cave is much deeper than they had originally expected; they descend and follow it back for several minutes before they see the first few patches of ice. Slowing to ensure that nobody has a nasty slip, they continue. Soon the walls are coated in a layer of ice. Finally, the back of the cave opens up into a small chamber.</p><p></p><p>“Wow!” exclaims Naomi</p><p></p><p>A bucket of crushed ice stained dark purple from fruit juice is in the center of the cave. Nara immediately points out the other dozen or so jugs of icy, half-frozen juice throughout the chamber. </p><p></p><p>“This one smells like kiwis!” exclaims Naomi.</p><p></p><p>They set to figuring out how to contruct their dessert, and naturally they have to sample things to make sure that they get them right. They put together a bucket of mixed blackberry, cherry and kiwi juice over crushed ice. Soon most everyone is having an icy, refreshing treat. “That is <em>good,</em>” remarks Queffe. “Oh, yeah.”</p><p></p><p>“Well, clearly we can’t carry this all back,” Nara says. “We should mix something up here and bring it back.”</p><p></p><p>“Yeah,” Naomi agrees, “and I think I know just the thing to add to this recipe to make it <em>even better.</em>”</p><p></p><p>And she pulls out some bacon.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>The bucket of icy goodness is flavored with the juice of peaches, bananas and blueberries. There is a hint of bacon, as well as a touch of hazelnut in it. </p><p></p><p>And it smells <em>fantastic.</em></p><p></p><p>Eager to complete the trial, our heroes hurry towards the exit from the cave. </p><p></p><p>And, weaponless and armorless, stumble upon a troll. </p><p></p><p>The warty green giant roars at the sight of them. It rakes the air with its claws and gnashes its foul yellow teeth.</p><p></p><p>Yet, at least immediately, it does not attack.</p><p></p><p><em>This is part of the trial, too,</em> thinks Erasmuz. He smirks to himself. <em>I get it.</em> He tries to catch the troll’s eye, to attempt to stare it down, but the monster is pacing around and throwing its head back too much. It roars again, saliva drooling from its mouth. </p><p></p><p>“Troll hungry,” Jawbreaker comments. “Want slushy?” He holds up the bucket of dessert. </p><p></p><p>The troll roars and licks his lips. He glares at the chief. </p><p></p><p>The party feeds the troll honeyed snow cones, peanut butter and bacon and chunks of chocolate. Finally, the menacing- yet never actually violent- troll starts to yawn and fall asleep. </p><p></p><p>“We didn’t even have to use our own slushy stuff,” Erasmuz chortles. </p><p></p><p>“Victory!” predicts Queffe.</p><p></p><p>“Let’s hope so,” Ari agrees. But he thinks, <em>Somehow, it still seems too good to be true...</em></p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Together with their guide, our heroes finish dessert. It is delicious, and the guide beams at them. “Good choice of flavors!” he exclaims. “There was something different about it, too- some little nuance I’d never tasted before...”</p><p></p><p>“That’s us, all right,” Naomi agrees with a lewd wink. </p><p></p><p>“Well, you just let me know when you’re ready for the Trial of Hunting.”</p><p></p><p>“I’m ready any time,” Naomi jiggles suggestively.</p><p></p><p>“Uh, great, how about the rest of you?”</p><p></p><p>“I’m <em>full,</em>” Erasmuz sighs. He glances at Naomi. “Hey, buddy, let’s have a good sleep first, what do you say?”</p><p></p><p>“Fine by me,” she shrugs. She turns her attention back to their guide with a leer. “Will you be sleeping near us?”</p><p></p><p>“Uh, not that close,” he tells her.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>The next morning, between breakfast and second breakfast, they set out. The Guide leads the way. “Nothing can be good if it is made up of bad ingredients,” he tells them. “A chef must know what he is cooking with. That is the point of growing your own vegetables or fruits, or of raising or hunting your own meat. That’s the point of this trial. You have to find some worthy prey, hunt it and bring it back.” He looks at them. “You will know your quarry when you find it, I promise you,” he adds. </p><p></p><p>“I can gather nuts and berries,” Ari starts, but the Guide cuts him off.</p><p></p><p>“That’s well and good, but this is the Trial of <em>Hunting,</em> not the Trial of Foraging.”</p><p></p><p>“Right,” the druid acknowledges. “Fair enough.”</p><p></p><p>The Guide takes them to their equipment. “You can’t hunt without weapons,” he smiles. “Good luck!” </p><p></p><p>The party sets out. Within the first day they have gathered a number of birds, hares and other smaller creatures, as well as various wild vegetables to go with them. They bring down a large elk with a poisoned crossbow bolt, and then Ari casts <em>neutralize poison</em> on the corpse before they begin to prepare it. </p><p></p><p>It is not until the next morning, however, that they encounter what they immediately recognize as their quarry: bacon beasts.</p><p></p><p>The bacon beasts look like huge dire boars that have already been roasted. Cherry red apples are stuck in their mouths. Immediately, the mouths of our heroes all begin to water.</p><p></p><p>“We <em>are</em> on the way to the Promised Land,” Ari cries. “Bacon, already cooked- and it’s coming towards us!”</p><p></p><p><em><strong>Next Time:</strong></em> Against the bacon beasts! Return of the Acorn Brothers! And the Trial of Cleverness!</p><p></p><p></p><p>*This was a 4e-style skill test. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="the Jester, post: 4352541, member: 1210"] The party walks along at a leisurely place. They can see trees with lollipops hanging like fruit in the distance, but (their guide explains) they cannot reach them. “They lie in the true Promised Land, not here on the border.” “Like those fields of bread I saw, while I was flying in eagle form,” Ari exclaims. The guide nods. “Exactly.” Up ahead, a cheerful-looking cottage with many chimneys comes into view. The smell of baking and cooking is strong. Our heroes quicken their pace, and soon they arrive at the cottage. “The Trial of Cooking,” their guide announces. “Cook like halflings.” With a smile, he takes his leave of them. The party moves inside the cottage. Its interior is very large. It is dominated by a bank of huge ovens; wood stoves, as well as several firepits, are in the place as well. The walls are covered in shelves and cabinets of cooking-related materials: spices, flour, cutlery, dishes and more. It is the most impressively-stocked kitchen that any of our heroes have ever seen. “Good,” Jawbreaker says, and smiles broadly. “We get to work.” The party rolls up their collective sleeves and begins to put things together.* Ari finds the best wood for the fire while Naomi uses her considerable cooking skills to start an intriguing chocolate horseradish chicken dish. Jawbreaker uses his sharp sense of smell to sniff out appropriate spices and ingredients. Erasmuz bluffs the others into thinking he’s helping. Soon enough the delicious smell of Naomi’s chicken dish becomes tempting. She fends off her friends for a little longer, and then they eat. Nom nom nom! Ahhh, delicious. As always, Naomi’s cooking skills come through for our heroes. When they leave, their guide is waiting for us. “Well, how are we doing?” Ari asks. The guide shrugs. “I don’t know. It looks good to me so far, but the Promised Land itself will judge you.” He sniffs the air. “Hmm, what did you make?” Naomi and the guide get into an animated discussion about cooking for a few moments. But they are eager to continue along their quest, and to reach the Promised Land at last. Next is the Trial of Dessert. “You’ll need to go get it,” the guide explains. “It is kept in the back of a cave.” “A cave!” exclaims Ari. “Should we get our weapons and armor?” “You won’t need them,” the guide replies. “You are just getting dessert.” “Okay,” Ari agrees dubiously. “What’s for dessert, anyway?” Nara asks. “And why is it kept in a cave?” The guide smiles. “It has to be kept in the cave in order to keep it cold- the back of the cave is an ice cave, you see. It will be delicious, I promise you. It is a mix of fruit juices with crushed up ice- similar to a sherbet. It is astonishingly good.” Our heroes exchange a collective glance. “All right,” declares Ari, “let’s go!” The guide gives our heroes very simple directions to the cave, and Erasmuz casts [i]wind walk[/i] on all of them. In vaporous form, it takes them all of twenty seconds to reach the cave, and then they land and rematerialize. On foot, then, the party treks inside. The cave is much deeper than they had originally expected; they descend and follow it back for several minutes before they see the first few patches of ice. Slowing to ensure that nobody has a nasty slip, they continue. Soon the walls are coated in a layer of ice. Finally, the back of the cave opens up into a small chamber. “Wow!” exclaims Naomi A bucket of crushed ice stained dark purple from fruit juice is in the center of the cave. Nara immediately points out the other dozen or so jugs of icy, half-frozen juice throughout the chamber. “This one smells like kiwis!” exclaims Naomi. They set to figuring out how to contruct their dessert, and naturally they have to sample things to make sure that they get them right. They put together a bucket of mixed blackberry, cherry and kiwi juice over crushed ice. Soon most everyone is having an icy, refreshing treat. “That is [i]good,[/i]” remarks Queffe. “Oh, yeah.” “Well, clearly we can’t carry this all back,” Nara says. “We should mix something up here and bring it back.” “Yeah,” Naomi agrees, “and I think I know just the thing to add to this recipe to make it [i]even better.[/i]” And she pulls out some bacon. *** The bucket of icy goodness is flavored with the juice of peaches, bananas and blueberries. There is a hint of bacon, as well as a touch of hazelnut in it. And it smells [i]fantastic.[/i] Eager to complete the trial, our heroes hurry towards the exit from the cave. And, weaponless and armorless, stumble upon a troll. The warty green giant roars at the sight of them. It rakes the air with its claws and gnashes its foul yellow teeth. Yet, at least immediately, it does not attack. [i]This is part of the trial, too,[/i] thinks Erasmuz. He smirks to himself. [i]I get it.[/i] He tries to catch the troll’s eye, to attempt to stare it down, but the monster is pacing around and throwing its head back too much. It roars again, saliva drooling from its mouth. “Troll hungry,” Jawbreaker comments. “Want slushy?” He holds up the bucket of dessert. The troll roars and licks his lips. He glares at the chief. The party feeds the troll honeyed snow cones, peanut butter and bacon and chunks of chocolate. Finally, the menacing- yet never actually violent- troll starts to yawn and fall asleep. “We didn’t even have to use our own slushy stuff,” Erasmuz chortles. “Victory!” predicts Queffe. “Let’s hope so,” Ari agrees. But he thinks, [i]Somehow, it still seems too good to be true...[/i] *** Together with their guide, our heroes finish dessert. It is delicious, and the guide beams at them. “Good choice of flavors!” he exclaims. “There was something different about it, too- some little nuance I’d never tasted before...” “That’s us, all right,” Naomi agrees with a lewd wink. “Well, you just let me know when you’re ready for the Trial of Hunting.” “I’m ready any time,” Naomi jiggles suggestively. “Uh, great, how about the rest of you?” “I’m [i]full,[/i]” Erasmuz sighs. He glances at Naomi. “Hey, buddy, let’s have a good sleep first, what do you say?” “Fine by me,” she shrugs. She turns her attention back to their guide with a leer. “Will you be sleeping near us?” “Uh, not that close,” he tells her. *** The next morning, between breakfast and second breakfast, they set out. The Guide leads the way. “Nothing can be good if it is made up of bad ingredients,” he tells them. “A chef must know what he is cooking with. That is the point of growing your own vegetables or fruits, or of raising or hunting your own meat. That’s the point of this trial. You have to find some worthy prey, hunt it and bring it back.” He looks at them. “You will know your quarry when you find it, I promise you,” he adds. “I can gather nuts and berries,” Ari starts, but the Guide cuts him off. “That’s well and good, but this is the Trial of [i]Hunting,[/i] not the Trial of Foraging.” “Right,” the druid acknowledges. “Fair enough.” The Guide takes them to their equipment. “You can’t hunt without weapons,” he smiles. “Good luck!” The party sets out. Within the first day they have gathered a number of birds, hares and other smaller creatures, as well as various wild vegetables to go with them. They bring down a large elk with a poisoned crossbow bolt, and then Ari casts [i]neutralize poison[/i] on the corpse before they begin to prepare it. It is not until the next morning, however, that they encounter what they immediately recognize as their quarry: bacon beasts. The bacon beasts look like huge dire boars that have already been roasted. Cherry red apples are stuck in their mouths. Immediately, the mouths of our heroes all begin to water. “We [i]are[/i] on the way to the Promised Land,” Ari cries. “Bacon, already cooked- and it’s coming towards us!” [i][b]Next Time:[/b][/i][b][/b] Against the bacon beasts! Return of the Acorn Brothers! And the Trial of Cleverness! *This was a 4e-style skill test. :) [/QUOTE]
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