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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Guest&nbsp; 85555" data-source="post: 9621713">A few observations here. I think one way to create poor sports is to let people win all the time or not let them learn what it is like to lose. Undefeated champions sometimes make the worst losers for example, because they have never really experienced defeat. Losing can build character if it is handled right. And winning can ruin character if it is handled wrong.Also losing is how you get better, and so it can be helpful to know when you've lost.I agree people who flip over the board are not fun to play with. Playing with people who are good losers is actually a quality I look for in gamers for this reason.On participation trophies, I would say the reason most people are opposed isn't actually the stereotype of 'back in my day we had winners and losers". It is because they got participation trophies growing up and know how meaningless they are. It is like when a teacher praises every student no matter what. Kids are smart and they understand when someone in class or in a sport is better than them at something.I remember participation trophies. I got plenty of them. I wasn't some great athlete. And I was terrible at team sports (which probably won't surprise many people here lol). But I did learn I was much better at solo sports, and eventually got into martial arts, where I appreciated having a three tiered victory system: gold, silver and bronze. Sometimes you did well enough to earn a medal, sometimes you didn't. Most people weren't getting gold all the time. But it gave you a goal that was tangible to work towards (if you were competing: not everyone competed and there were different events for competition, so it wasn't hard to find something you felt comfortable doing).I would just point out getting bags of stuff for participating in an industry even is different from getting a trophy for winning a competition. I agree it would suck if you went to a conference and they pulled a "Coffee is for closers!". And in sales the goal is to make money, and improve your sales peoples' performances. At the same time, I wouldn't begrudge someone getting a best sales person award if they had the best sales.Also I think you can reward merit, make winning a fun thing to aspire to, without being an ***hole about it (and without turning everyone involved into ***holes). One of my early experiences with team sports was with a soccer coach who was insanely competitive and would scream and throw tantrums over the smallest error. This might have worked for some people. But it just made me resentful and not want to make the guy happy, so I just quit the team (and I remember players being sent to me for weeks trying to persuade me to rejoin). But he was a jerk, I didn't want to play under those conditions, and I wasn't especially good either.When I did martial arts. I lost my first competition. I got knocked out at my second. I won the first match of my second competition but got a broken nose in my second match that day (and the force of the blow sent me to the ground so they treated it as a knockout even though I was fine to keep going). My experience here was the opposite at soccer. The master and the students didn't discourage you for losing. They helped you improve and they gave you respect because you were willing to compete. And I slowly got better. I remember the Master said something like "anyone can make a Ferrari drive fast, but it takes a lot more to make a jalopy break the speed limit". That really motivated me, and I started winning more. My point is there is virtue in being a grinder and that having winning conditions isn't in itself a bad thing. It can be highly motivational to have trophies that mean something to aim for. But I would advise balancing that out and if you look at it more as trying to achieve your personal best, rather than trying to beat other people, it can be more beneficial. You can lose and still come out with dignity and a sense of accomplishment</blockquote>

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