Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ialdabode" data-source="post: 86511" data-attributes="member: 1635">Ialdabode wanders into the room, paying more attention to his phone conversation than the press conference. Yeah, yeah, of course I brought the documents.  I am a mind reader, you know.  Come one, Mickey, I'm the iconic telepath.  Anyway, I'm here.  I'll let you know how it goes after I get done.  Ciao, babe.  Love you, and I mean that dearly, not queerly.Ialdabode tucks his phone into the pocket of his vest and removes his sunglasses.Oh miss Mialee, I'm here as a representative of the EAPDOEF (Elves Against Pornographic Display of Elven Flesh) and I have some very pressing questions to ask you.1. I present issue number one, a photo taken by the Wizards photographer of Shuluth and you in what can only be described as a horrifying displade of sado-masochistic tendencies.  Now, the EAPDOEF is well aware of your penchant for claiming Photoshop is the answer behind this, so they have contacted Wizards and received the official contract for the photo shoot.  As you can see here, line 95 of the deal states, in your own handwriting (don't deny it, we've had three handwriting pathologists check it against canceled check stubs), that you would only do the deal if you could pose with "Shuluthy" in a, and I quote, "Intimate expression of our true master/slave relationship, as I just adore his cute little squiddy-poo facey-wacey."Now then, if the room could suppress the gag reflex long enough to continue,2. Issue number two surrounds a black and white photo published in Tome and Blood.  I've done some background research with my contact, Mr. Wayne Reynolds, at Wizards andhe informs me he took this photo of you during the design concept phase of 3e in order to inspire the designers to create the, and I quote, "Most typical example of elvenness."  After being chosen to portray elves as an iconic, later photographs of you appear with a bust two whole cup sizes larger (which Mr. Nebin could confirm).  As enlarge bust was left out of 3e, the EAPDOEF can only conclude that you have engaged in illicit enhancement of your bust through artificial means.And, lastly but not leastly, I present3. Issue three, your iconic quote.  I believe it stands to reason that, as this is the best you can come up with, you represent a significantly lower average Intelligence than most elves.All in all, EAPDOEF feel you are inferior and unfit to continue to portray elves as their iconic and would request you step down immediately and save them the hassle of pressing legal actions against you.  In exchange, they cast their support behind Vanadia to become the new iconic elf for her chaste, earthly goodness and pleasent relationship with honorbound humans like Alhandra.So, miss Mialee, how do you respond to the documented facts and proven evidence the EAPDOEF have provided?</blockquote>

Verification