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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Indigo Veil" data-source="post: 4523352" data-attributes="member: 9361">Nice. The site is very cleanly done, and I enjoy the artwork as a nice visual break. I agree with Minotaur--I enjoyed the writing style of Chapter 2 more than I did Chapter 1.  There's a nice balance between action exposition and dialogue, and there's enough dialogue to let the reader get a sense of the characters' personalities. I also like that the chapters are in nicely digestible chunks, so the reader doesn't feel like s/he's investing an unreasonable amount of time  into each reading. What's with Prelude reading like it's a mental note to yourself? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /> It might be nice to have some character background there for the reader to get familiar with the characters before they meet up with the rest of the party--their day-to-day lives, their hopes, etc. as a reference point to measure their progress against as they advance through the story you're putting them through.Overall, nicely done.Just my two cents. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>