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Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Sigil" data-source="post: 191769" data-attributes="member: 2013">Ethel, not AliceThat would be "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying."It begins thusly...'Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley one lovely morning, trottety-trottety-trottety, when she might a nice little quantity surveyor...' Here are my other guesses:'Thirty Days in the Samarkind Desert with the Duchess of Kent' by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.? 'A Hundred and One Ways to Start a Fight' ... by an Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment. 'David Coperfield' by Edmund Wells. 'Grate Expectations' (also by Wells)'Knickerless Knickleby' (Wells)'Khristmas Karol' (Wells)'A Sale of Two Titties''Rarnaby Budge' by Charles Dikkens.  That's Dikkens with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author. 'Karnaby Fudge' by Darles Chickens, 'Farmer of Sludge' by Marles Pickens, 'Stickwick Stapers' by Farles Wickens with four M's and a silent Q!!!!! 'The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles'...volume eight. 'Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds' (the expurgated version). 'Biggles Combs his Hair''The Gospel According to Charley Drake''Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying'. --The Sigil</blockquote>