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<blockquote data-quote="Henry" data-source="post: 600258" data-attributes="member: 158"><p>Talath,</p><p></p><p>The first time I asked the woman who was to become my wife out on a date, I saw her in the mall. We were acquaintences in high school, but not extremely close. I said my hellos, we caught up on our lives, reminisced old times a bit, and I went to the mall bookstore, picked a quiet corner, and beat my head against a bookshelf. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>Then, I screwed up my courage, called her later that night, and asked her out to a movie.</p><p></p><p>Twelve years later, I have the love of my life. If I had not asked her out, nothing would have come of it.</p><p></p><p>The hardest part about asking someone out on a date, is that we are thinking about how cute/adorable/gorgeous they are, and how unappealing we are, while we are doing it. That whole <em>Dao of Steve</em> thing about being desireless really does have merit -- the more comfortable we are with ourselves, and the more comfortable we are with the other person <em>as a human being</em> allows us to be ourselves, and gives a much more favorable first impression.</p><p></p><p>SECOND - what's this tripe about not wanting to live past 40?!?!?! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> As corny as it sounds, happiness in life should not be connected to finding </p><p></p><p>A) The one true love</p><p>B)The perfect job</p><p>C) Perfect health</p><p></p><p>Because ALL things go south sooner or later. Relationships can sour, jobs get eliminated, and no one was born with the perfect body. We must be happy with ourselves first, because nothing outside of us can KEEP us happy. Also, coming to peace with yourself means you will exude more confidence and more harmony with other people, which means that we can deal with girlfriends, employers, health info, etc. better. It's a vicious little Catch-22, but it is in my experience an Undeniable Truth of Life.</p><p></p><p>Take all this useless info for what it's worth to you.</p><p></p><p>Finally, COUNT on perfect strangers being more honest with you -- they don't have anything invested in you, relationship-wise, nor are they clouded by pre-existing experiences with you, and therefore what you get is more objective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Henry, post: 600258, member: 158"] Talath, The first time I asked the woman who was to become my wife out on a date, I saw her in the mall. We were acquaintences in high school, but not extremely close. I said my hellos, we caught up on our lives, reminisced old times a bit, and I went to the mall bookstore, picked a quiet corner, and beat my head against a bookshelf. :D Then, I screwed up my courage, called her later that night, and asked her out to a movie. Twelve years later, I have the love of my life. If I had not asked her out, nothing would have come of it. The hardest part about asking someone out on a date, is that we are thinking about how cute/adorable/gorgeous they are, and how unappealing we are, while we are doing it. That whole [I]Dao of Steve[/I] thing about being desireless really does have merit -- the more comfortable we are with ourselves, and the more comfortable we are with the other person [I]as a human being[/I] allows us to be ourselves, and gives a much more favorable first impression. SECOND - what's this tripe about not wanting to live past 40?!?!?! :) As corny as it sounds, happiness in life should not be connected to finding A) The one true love B)The perfect job C) Perfect health Because ALL things go south sooner or later. Relationships can sour, jobs get eliminated, and no one was born with the perfect body. We must be happy with ourselves first, because nothing outside of us can KEEP us happy. Also, coming to peace with yourself means you will exude more confidence and more harmony with other people, which means that we can deal with girlfriends, employers, health info, etc. better. It's a vicious little Catch-22, but it is in my experience an Undeniable Truth of Life. Take all this useless info for what it's worth to you. Finally, COUNT on perfect strangers being more honest with you -- they don't have anything invested in you, relationship-wise, nor are they clouded by pre-existing experiences with you, and therefore what you get is more objective. [/QUOTE]
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