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(OT) Crank Yankers and your own crank phone call memories
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<blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 293323" data-attributes="member: 1210"><p>Well, I find crank calls funny but wrong. I've more than once made them myself, but the best ones are the ones where someone 'deserves' it (at least in your then-likely-plastered mind). For instance....</p><p></p><p>First, you have to understand that the water that comes out of the tap in my town (Davis, CA) is HORRIFYINGLY BAD. I will not drink it, EVER. If I make it into tea or something, okay; but I much prefer to use real water. </p><p></p><p>So, one night I was having this party and we ran out of water. We were trashed and under the influence of some, um, recreational pharmaceuticals, and we grabbed up four empty gallon jugs and set out on a trek of about 3/4 mile each way to the nearest place we could fill them up. We got to the water vending machines at the supermarket, Lucky's (since bought by Albertson's but that's another story), filled them and trekked home (and lemme tell ya, when you've got a gallon of water in each hand, 3/4 mile is a long walk!)</p><p></p><p>As we got back to my place, I took a long, deep pull off of one of the containers- and spat it right out, cause it was Davis water. </p><p></p><p>I few seconds later, in horror, we dumped it all out, because it was disgusting Davis water, not real water. All of it. And we'd just spent prolly an hour mucking about for real water. Oh, man, we were pissed! So, raving drunk, parched and high, I decided to call Lucky's and register a customer complaint...</p><p></p><p>Now, I adopted a voice for it; a kinda slow, loud, Bostonish accent. It went something like this:</p><p></p><p>"Hi, thanks for calling Lucky's, this is X, how can I help you?"</p><p></p><p>"Yeah, I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please."</p><p></p><p>"I'm sorry?" </p><p></p><p>"I said I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please?"</p><p></p><p>"Who?"</p><p></p><p>"Lucky."</p><p></p><p>"I'm sorry, there's no Lucky that works here..."</p><p></p><p>"Well, Mr. Lucky then."</p><p></p><p>"Ah... I'm sorry sir, there's no Mr. Lucky eith-"</p><p></p><p>"Ain't this Lucky's?"</p><p></p><p>"...yeah."</p><p></p><p>"Well I'd like to speak wit' 'im please."</p><p></p><p>[pause] "Well, Lucky's not here..."</p><p></p><p>"Well gimme his home number den, we go way back."</p><p></p><p>"Uh- maybe I can help you with something?"</p><p></p><p>"Yeah, I'm a customer with a legitimate complaint, and I'd like to speak ta Lucky about it."</p><p></p><p>and so it went for quite a while. It was hilarious. I guess you prolly had to be there... Eventually he hung up on me, but I kept him on the line for, I'd guess 10 minutes. Then I called Safeway and asked to speak to Lucky, and when they tried to explain to me that they weren't Lucky's I told them that I knew they were all in it together. It was funny... </p><p></p><p>Had to be there, like I said...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="the Jester, post: 293323, member: 1210"] Well, I find crank calls funny but wrong. I've more than once made them myself, but the best ones are the ones where someone 'deserves' it (at least in your then-likely-plastered mind). For instance.... First, you have to understand that the water that comes out of the tap in my town (Davis, CA) is HORRIFYINGLY BAD. I will not drink it, EVER. If I make it into tea or something, okay; but I much prefer to use real water. So, one night I was having this party and we ran out of water. We were trashed and under the influence of some, um, recreational pharmaceuticals, and we grabbed up four empty gallon jugs and set out on a trek of about 3/4 mile each way to the nearest place we could fill them up. We got to the water vending machines at the supermarket, Lucky's (since bought by Albertson's but that's another story), filled them and trekked home (and lemme tell ya, when you've got a gallon of water in each hand, 3/4 mile is a long walk!) As we got back to my place, I took a long, deep pull off of one of the containers- and spat it right out, cause it was Davis water. I few seconds later, in horror, we dumped it all out, because it was disgusting Davis water, not real water. All of it. And we'd just spent prolly an hour mucking about for real water. Oh, man, we were pissed! So, raving drunk, parched and high, I decided to call Lucky's and register a customer complaint... Now, I adopted a voice for it; a kinda slow, loud, Bostonish accent. It went something like this: "Hi, thanks for calling Lucky's, this is X, how can I help you?" "Yeah, I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please." "I'm sorry?" "I said I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please?" "Who?" "Lucky." "I'm sorry, there's no Lucky that works here..." "Well, Mr. Lucky then." "Ah... I'm sorry sir, there's no Mr. Lucky eith-" "Ain't this Lucky's?" "...yeah." "Well I'd like to speak wit' 'im please." [pause] "Well, Lucky's not here..." "Well gimme his home number den, we go way back." "Uh- maybe I can help you with something?" "Yeah, I'm a customer with a legitimate complaint, and I'd like to speak ta Lucky about it." and so it went for quite a while. It was hilarious. I guess you prolly had to be there... Eventually he hung up on me, but I kept him on the line for, I'd guess 10 minutes. Then I called Safeway and asked to speak to Lucky, and when they tried to explain to me that they weren't Lucky's I told them that I knew they were all in it together. It was funny... Had to be there, like I said... [/QUOTE]
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