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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Teflon Billy" data-source="post: 293383" data-attributes="member: 264">Heh, I'm (astonishigly) with King Stannis on this. I've only seen a few episodes of Crank Yankers that I pulled off of Kazaa, but they were hilarious (I didn't see the puppetry, these were just audio files)My youth was spent committing the horribly unorigina; "Do you have Prince Albert in a can", "Is your refrigerator running", "are you lights burning" -type crank calls, and they worked about as ofen as you'd think. But we still thought we were incredibly funny<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Of late however, as close as my frinds and I come to crank calls is messing aropund with telemarketers, under the tutelage of our friend Fraser...here are a few of Frase's favorite games....Doctor No.Concede every point that the telemarketer makes, give no hint that you aren't completely entusiastic about the product or service...and still refuse.Telemarketer: ...and you can get both of the Newspapers delivered to your door for less than the cost of picking one up from the newsstand!Doctor No: My God!...that's a savings of, what? 70%?Telemarketer: 72% actually. It's a great deal.Doctor No: It certainly is. I think I'll pass though.Telemarketer: What? Do you get the papers already or something?Doctor No: No, actually I purchase the First one on my way to work every morning, but I have to go two blocks out of my way to buy it. The second paper is one I always wanted to read, but I can't really budget more than one newspaper.Telemarketer: But Sir you can get both, for less than the price of the one you currently and have to go out of your way to buy, delivered to your home.Doctor No: That certainly seems like a good deal. Maybe the best deal I've ever been offered for newspapers.Telemarketer: Yes sir, and as I said the offer only lasts until midnight tonight.Doctor No: I think I'll pass.You win the game if you can make him last more than fifteen minuts before giving up in disgust.The other game of fraser's that pops to mind is...The Mutilated MarkAs the conversation continues you pretend to injure yourself more and more gravely, whicle continuing to express an interest in the product or service being peddled. Observe...Telemarketer: ...it really is a great deal on both of your local newspapersMutilated Mark: I couldn't agree more. What was it you said was the percentage savings on the cover price?Telemarketer: I comes to seventy two...Telemarketer:GAH!!! Oh jeez. Owwww.Telemarketer: Sir? are you allright there?Mutilated Mark: Yeah, I just cut the end of my finger pretty badly with an exacto knife. Jeez. Sorry. Go on.Telemarketer: Allright. It comes to Seventy two percent sav...Mutilated Mark: Man, hang on a second, this thing is really bleeding...Telemarketer: Maybe I should call you back later.Mutilated Mark: No no no. I'll just put a little liquid paper in it. I heard it's mostly alcohol, that should Suck it shut right?Telemarketer: Umm...Mutilated Mark: Will it be delivered to my house?Telemarketer: What?Mutilated Mark: The NewspaperTelemarketer: Oh yes sir, deifntely. It will....Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! YOw!..now that stings. Oh man!..it's not alcohol. It's acetone. God. Ok hang on a sec allright. Jeez. I'm going to get some hot water and try and get that crap out of the cut. MAn...it's really bleeding now. Gah! Can you hold on? I need both of those newpapers...Telemarketer: Sure...?30 seconds or so pass.Mutilated Mark: Ok, I'm back. Man...how can I make it stop bleeding? This scotch tape is holding a piece of blotter there now, but the liquid paper is killing!. I've got a coffee pot full of hot water here now, just give me a second. I'm going to try and clean it out. Man...Acetone. I'm an idiot (make a splashing noise in your glass of cold water) Ow!..that's hot. I'm not sure which is worse, the wound or the cure! So anyway, the newspaper...Telemarketer: Ok, yeah. The papers usually...Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! I SPILLED THE WATERRRRRAAAAGGHHHHH!. OH CHRIST!! IT"S IN MY LAP. OOOOOWWWWWWW!Etc<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> you get the idea.You win this game by having him offer to call an ambulance for you<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />I'll talk to Frase and see how many more I can get out of him<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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