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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Lothaire" data-source="post: 229944" data-attributes="member: 540">I can't really imagine what it must feel like to go through what you now must face but I imagine that you feel worthless, hurt betrayed and lost. I know it probably won't make you feel any better, but despite all your self doubt and questioning what you could have done to make your relationship work, you did not make the decision to violate your marriage vows. She did.Several posters have told you to evaluate if your relationship is worth working to save. I would strongly advise against doing so, unless both of you are absolutely committed, and she certainly does not seem so.If you do, you both must go to conseling to find out and rectify the situation that made this come to pass. And you both must be absolutely sure that you will never bring this incident up in anger in an argument years from now. Many very religious people keep from getting divorces because they consider it a very sinful thing, and want to stay together for the 'sake of the children.' That is a horrible reason, because no matter how painful a divorce is, a child will eventually get closure of some sort. A child living with parents who are constantly at each others throats, always has open wounds. Home is supposed to be a safe haven, and its terrible when you fear coming home because of yelling, or even worse because of total silence. I speak from personal experiance, and it horribly inhibits your ability to form social bonds. Don't think your doing a child any favors by staying in a loveless marriage.BTW, don't worry about me. I've found a wonderful girl, who has gone through the same experiance as me. And we are able to draw each other out of our shells and comfort each other, and as a result of constantly seeing our parents seething with resentment and anger we always make sure that we let each other know we love each other, and we clearly and openly discuss everything.</blockquote>

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