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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Uller" data-source="post: 230982" data-attributes="member: 413">This is the most important advice so far.  It's not about the money, the lawyers, the career, the house, the car...it's about a 3-year-old child.  Your boy needs you.  He needs to live in a home where familly comes first.  He needs to know that BOTH his parents love him and want to be involved in is life.  He needs both his parents to work something out so they both CAN be involved in his life.  If you think you're feeling bad, just think what this is doing to him.  From his point of view, for reasons he cannot comprehend, his hero has just left town.   Sure he get's to see you every other weekend or whatever, but if you're son is anything like mine(he's 4), a quality weekend together doesn't take the place of reading him stories and tucking him in and playing ball and asking him about his day at pre-school while eating dinner and setting an example, etc., etc. _every_ day.Phoamslinger is right...your wife has a character flaw that she will likely not outgrow.  So I don't think you should reconcile for the sake of your son.  But do whatever you can to remain in his life as much as you can.  If that means moving to live where he lives, even if you have to take a lower paying job, do it.  He needs to know that you're not abandoning him.  You must be strong and you must bear the weight of this travesty on your broad shoulders so it doesn't land on his tiny ones.   I know that's not easy, but that's what it means to be "dad".Above all, keep your nose absolutely clean!  Don't give her any ammo to aid in denying you access to  your son.   That means no violence.  No drowning your sorrow in alcohol.  No missing work.  etc.Anyway...enough advice.  I feel for you, man.  I'm watching a friend go through the same thing(only no kids involved, thankfully).  He caught his wife cheating on him, they tried to reconcile and then she did it again(actually, most of us believe she never stopped).  He's a mess because he is realizing that the last 5 years of his life were an utter lie.   Good luck and find someone(familly, friends, a support group, a church) who you can confide in and talk to in your darkest hours.</blockquote>

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