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[OT] Jester Jokes
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<blockquote data-quote="jgbrowning" data-source="post: 436246" data-attributes="member: 5724"><p>here's something i pulled off the web... </p><p></p><p></p><p>A man asked his neighbour, which was but late married to a widow, </p><p>how he agreed with his wife, for he said that her first husband and </p><p>she could never agree. </p><p>"By God," quod the other, "we agree marvelous well." </p><p>"I pray ye, how so?" </p><p>"marry," quod the other, "I shall tell ye. When I am merry, she </p><p>is merry, and when I am sad, she is sad. For when I go out of my </p><p>doors I am merry to go from her, and so is she. And when I come </p><p>in again I am sad, and so is she." </p><p>[pub. 1526] </p><p></p><p>A kind wife followed her husband to the gallows; and he requesting </p><p>her not to trouble herself any further, she answered, "Ah, yes, </p><p>dear husband, now that I am come thus far, faith, I'll see you </p><p>hanged too, God willing, before I go." </p><p>[pub. 1595] </p><p></p><p>A certain jealous husband followed his wife to confession; whom </p><p>when the priest should lead behind the alter to be displied [disciplined </p><p>by beating], the husband, perceiving it, and doubting the worst, </p><p>cried unto him, saying, "hear ye, master parson, I pray you let </p><p>me be displied for her." </p><p>And kneeling down before the priest, "I pray you," quod the wife </p><p>to the priest, "strike him hard, for I am a great sinner." </p><p>[pub. 1583] </p><p></p><p>How many calves' tails behoveth to reach from the earth to the sky? </p><p>No more but one, an it be long enough. </p><p>What beast is it that hath her tail between her eyes? </p><p>It is a cat when she licketh her arse. </p><p>How may a man know or perceive a cow in a flock of sheep? </p><p>By sight. </p><p>What is it that freezeth never? </p><p>That is hot water. </p><p>What thing is it, the less it is, the more it is dread? </p><p>A bridge. </p><p>Which was first, the hen or the egg? </p><p>The hen, when God made her. </p><p>What time in the year beareth a goose most feathers? </p><p>When the gander is upon her back. </p><p>[English, ca. 1550, tr. from French, ca. 1500, some from Italian, possibly </p><p>as early as ca.1420] </p><p></p><p>A Spaniard travelling on the way alighted at a poor inn, and they </p><p>asked him his name. He answered, "Don pedro Gonzales Gayetan de </p><p>Guevara." Whereunto they replied, "Sir, we have not meat enough </p><p>for so many." </p><p>[pub. 1595 in English, before 1500 in Italian] </p><p></p><p>A felon at the gallows said unto the hangman, "Villain, better </p><p>yet be hanged than be a hangman, like thee." </p><p>"True," answered the hangman, "were it not for hanging." </p><p>[pub. 1595] </p><p><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":-)" title="Smile :-)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":-)" /> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>joe b.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jgbrowning, post: 436246, member: 5724"] here's something i pulled off the web... A man asked his neighbour, which was but late married to a widow, how he agreed with his wife, for he said that her first husband and she could never agree. "By God," quod the other, "we agree marvelous well." "I pray ye, how so?" "marry," quod the other, "I shall tell ye. When I am merry, she is merry, and when I am sad, she is sad. For when I go out of my doors I am merry to go from her, and so is she. And when I come in again I am sad, and so is she." [pub. 1526] A kind wife followed her husband to the gallows; and he requesting her not to trouble herself any further, she answered, "Ah, yes, dear husband, now that I am come thus far, faith, I'll see you hanged too, God willing, before I go." [pub. 1595] A certain jealous husband followed his wife to confession; whom when the priest should lead behind the alter to be displied [disciplined by beating], the husband, perceiving it, and doubting the worst, cried unto him, saying, "hear ye, master parson, I pray you let me be displied for her." And kneeling down before the priest, "I pray you," quod the wife to the priest, "strike him hard, for I am a great sinner." [pub. 1583] How many calves' tails behoveth to reach from the earth to the sky? No more but one, an it be long enough. What beast is it that hath her tail between her eyes? It is a cat when she licketh her arse. How may a man know or perceive a cow in a flock of sheep? By sight. What is it that freezeth never? That is hot water. What thing is it, the less it is, the more it is dread? A bridge. Which was first, the hen or the egg? The hen, when God made her. What time in the year beareth a goose most feathers? When the gander is upon her back. [English, ca. 1550, tr. from French, ca. 1500, some from Italian, possibly as early as ca.1420] A Spaniard travelling on the way alighted at a poor inn, and they asked him his name. He answered, "Don pedro Gonzales Gayetan de Guevara." Whereunto they replied, "Sir, we have not meat enough for so many." [pub. 1595 in English, before 1500 in Italian] A felon at the gallows said unto the hangman, "Villain, better yet be hanged than be a hangman, like thee." "True," answered the hangman, "were it not for hanging." [pub. 1595] :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) joe b. [/QUOTE]
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