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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DanteHayes" data-source="post: 656114" data-attributes="member: 8880">Serpenteye,That’s a bad break. I feel for you. The cruelest cut is the self-inflicted shame or guilt or loathing that one is bound to feel after such a violation. I believe I understand how you feel. It’s not your fault. But, revenge is not the answer and, even if it was, you wont be able to buy revenge in two classes a week at seventy-five dollars a month. Not in a month, a year, five or ten.What you can do is take this event and the emotions you have attached to it and turn that into fuel for self-improvement. And I, for one, do endorse martial arts study as a vehicle for self-improvement.Before you proceed with this, if that is your desired course, I’d like to address some of the truisms I’ve seen with regards to martial arts study. At least, as I have come to understand it.1)    Find an instructor whose personal ethics are a good fit with your own. True. You should respect your sensei and, he should respect you. Period. This should be easy to determine by visiting a couple of classes in progress.2)    You will only get out of it, what you put into it. True. It’s not algebra. There are no formulas to simply “plug in”. It takes time, discipline and dedication.3)    There is no one style that is better than another. True. The best style is the one that suits you. For me that is Daito Ryu Aiki-Jujitsu. For you it could be Kenpo or it could be brawling. Learn what suits you best.4)    Rankings are meaningless. Mostly true. As an instructor, they have value within the system as they are your best way to measure student progress. But, they have no meaning between systems. A blackbelt in one system might be nothing compared to a greenbelt in another. The only true measure is in years.5)    The greatest value of the training is the confidence it will instill in you. True. There is a thin line between fearlessness and foolishness but, confidence is always your best defense. The best reward that I’ve ever received from the training isn’t the weight loss, improved health or, even the discipline to quit smoking; it is the feeling of self-worth for stepping up to defend myself or someone else.I hope that all of this helps you. Feel free to contact me privately if you have any questions about martial arts in your area.Sean.</blockquote>

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