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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Darrin Drader" data-source="post: 1008913" data-attributes="member: 7394">In April of '96 I lost my grandmother. She had been like a mother to me all my life. Despite the fact that I'd had years to prepare for it -- she died of lung cancer caused by second-hand smoke-- that really didn't help when it finally happened. Well... I had thought I was prepared for it. I think after that I spent the next year in shock and disbelief as I distanced myself from the rest of my family, moved away from my home town, and started over with no one but myself to rely on. In retrospect I wish I could have just talked out the grief and allowed myself to mourn, but it was one of those things that caused me to take risks I wouldn't have otherwise taken and helped get me to the happy place I'm finally at in life. This will be a difficult time for you, and the grief will linger for years afterwards and never go away completely. Just remember to allow yourself to mourn and hang in there. She would want you to go on with your life and learn from the guidance she has given you through the years.</blockquote>