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[OT, Star Wars] Empire Is Good.
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<blockquote data-quote="Jack Haggerty" data-source="post: 195212" data-attributes="member: 89"><p><strong>Monty Python's, The Life of Skywalker...</strong></p><p></p><p>INTERIOR: MOS EISLEY CANTINA</p><p></p><p><em>In a dim, dusty backroom, a group of rebels stand over a holographic map, planning their next strike.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>ADMIRAL ACKBAR:</strong> We're gettin' in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Tarkin's wife's bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform Tarkin that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions? </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> What exactly are the demands? </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> We're giving Tarkin two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Galactic Imperialist State, and if he doesn't agree immediately, we execute her. </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> Cut her head off? </p><p></p><p><strong>ACKBAR:</strong> Cut all her bits off. Send 'em back on the hour every hour. Show them we're not to be trifled with. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop her up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail! </p><p></p><p><strong>REBELS:</strong> No blackmail! </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers. </p><p></p><p><strong>WEDGE:</strong> And from our fathers' fathers' fathers. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Yeah. </p><p></p><p><strong>WEDGE:</strong> And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Yeah. All right, Wedge. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?! </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> The vaporators? </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> What? </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> The vaporators.</p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah. </p><p></p><p><strong>CHEWBACCA:</strong> WOORRF! RORWUULF. </p><p></p><p><strong>WEDGE:</strong> Oh, yeah, the sanitation droids, Leia. Remember what Mos Eisley used to be like? </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the vaporators and the sanitation droids are two things that the Imperials have done. </p><p></p><p><strong>LANDO:</strong> And the hyperspace routes. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Well, yeah. Obviously the hyperspace routes. I mean, the hyperroutes go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation droids, the vaporators, and the hyperroutes-- </p><p></p><p><strong>REBEL #1:</strong> The starport. </p><p></p><p><strong>ACKBAR:</strong> Medicine. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBELS:</strong> Huh? Heh? Huh... </p><p></p><p><strong>REBEL #2:</strong> Education. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBELS:</strong> Ohh... </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBEL #1:</strong> And the spice. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBELS:</strong> Oh, yes. Yeah... </p><p></p><p><strong>LANDO:</strong> Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Leia, if the Imperials left. Huh. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBEL #3:</strong> The Holonet. </p><p></p><p><strong>WEDGE:</strong> And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Leia. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBELS:</strong> Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> All right, but apart from the sanitation droids, bacta, education, spice, public order, the spaceport, hyperspace routes, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Imperials ever done for us? </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> Brought peace. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Oh. Peace? Shut up!</p><p></p><p><em>Someone pounds on the door from outside.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> I am a poor droid. My sight is poor. My legs are old and bent, and-- </p><p></p><p><em>Han Solo and Luke Skywalker enter.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>HAN:</strong> It's all right, Threepio. </p><p></p><p><strong>SEE THREEPIO:</strong> It's all clear. </p><p></p><p><strong>HAN:</strong> Well, where's Leia? </p><p></p><p><strong>CHEWBACCA:</strong> HOOWL! </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> What went wrong? </p><p></p><p><strong>HAN:</strong> The first blow has been struck! </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Did he finish the slogan? </p><p></p><p><strong>HAN:</strong> A hundred times, in letters ten foot high, all the way around the palace! </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Oh, great. Great. We-- we need doers in our movement, Luke, but... before you join us, know this: there is not one of us here who would not gladly suffer death to rid this galaxy of the Imperials once and for all. </p><p></p><p><strong>REBEL #4:</strong> Uhh. Well, one. </p><p></p><p><strong>LEIA:</strong> Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's one, but otherwise, we're solid. Are you with us? </p><p></p><p><strong>LUKE:</strong> Yes!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jack Haggerty, post: 195212, member: 89"] [b]Monty Python's, The Life of Skywalker...[/b] INTERIOR: MOS EISLEY CANTINA [i]In a dim, dusty backroom, a group of rebels stand over a holographic map, planning their next strike.[/i] [b]ADMIRAL ACKBAR:[/b] We're gettin' in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Tarkin's wife's bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform Tarkin that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions? [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] What exactly are the demands? [b]LEIA:[/b] We're giving Tarkin two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Galactic Imperialist State, and if he doesn't agree immediately, we execute her. [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] Cut her head off? [b]ACKBAR:[/b] Cut all her bits off. Send 'em back on the hour every hour. Show them we're not to be trifled with. [b]LEIA:[/b] And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop her up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail! [b]REBELS:[/b] No blackmail! [b]LEIA:[/b] They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers. [b]WEDGE:[/b] And from our fathers' fathers' fathers. [b]LEIA:[/b] Yeah. [b]WEDGE:[/b] And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers. [b]LEIA:[/b] Yeah. All right, Wedge. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?! [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] The vaporators? [b]LEIA:[/b] What? [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] The vaporators. [b]LEIA:[/b] Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah. [b]CHEWBACCA:[/b] WOORRF! RORWUULF. [b]WEDGE:[/b] Oh, yeah, the sanitation droids, Leia. Remember what Mos Eisley used to be like? [b]LEIA:[/b] Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the vaporators and the sanitation droids are two things that the Imperials have done. [b]LANDO:[/b] And the hyperspace routes. [b]LEIA:[/b] Well, yeah. Obviously the hyperspace routes. I mean, the hyperroutes go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation droids, the vaporators, and the hyperroutes-- [b]REBEL #1:[/b] The starport. [b]ACKBAR:[/b] Medicine. [b]REBELS:[/b] Huh? Heh? Huh... [b]REBEL #2:[/b] Education. [b]REBELS:[/b] Ohh... [b]LEIA:[/b] Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough. [b]REBEL #1:[/b] And the spice. [b]REBELS:[/b] Oh, yes. Yeah... [b]LANDO:[/b] Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Leia, if the Imperials left. Huh. [b]REBEL #3:[/b] The Holonet. [b]WEDGE:[/b] And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Leia. [b]LEIA:[/b] Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this. [b]REBELS:[/b] Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. [b]LEIA:[/b] All right, but apart from the sanitation droids, bacta, education, spice, public order, the spaceport, hyperspace routes, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Imperials ever done for us? [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] Brought peace. [b]LEIA:[/b] Oh. Peace? Shut up! [i]Someone pounds on the door from outside.[/i] [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] I am a poor droid. My sight is poor. My legs are old and bent, and-- [i]Han Solo and Luke Skywalker enter.[/i] [b]HAN:[/b] It's all right, Threepio. [b]SEE THREEPIO:[/b] It's all clear. [b]HAN:[/b] Well, where's Leia? [b]CHEWBACCA:[/b] HOOWL! [b]LEIA:[/b] What went wrong? [b]HAN:[/b] The first blow has been struck! [b]LEIA:[/b] Did he finish the slogan? [b]HAN:[/b] A hundred times, in letters ten foot high, all the way around the palace! [b]LEIA:[/b] Oh, great. Great. We-- we need doers in our movement, Luke, but... before you join us, know this: there is not one of us here who would not gladly suffer death to rid this galaxy of the Imperials once and for all. [b]REBEL #4:[/b] Uhh. Well, one. [b]LEIA:[/b] Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's one, but otherwise, we're solid. Are you with us? [b]LUKE:[/b] Yes! [/QUOTE]
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