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Message: <blockquote data-quote="ElectricDragon" data-source="post: 7389214" data-attributes="member: 10778">Jasper,It was with heavy heart that I read that both the Epicurious and Eric are overdue back at the capitol. I was especially surprised to learn that the Grand Duchess had invited Eric to join her for tea in the castle gardens. My only suggestion is that you send her a missive informing her of Eric’s tardiness and offering to attend as his personal representative in his stead. The timing is curious and she must have important tidings to impart, probably some scheme or another that will affect us, so beware. I am especially alarmed to hear that the chef is under castle arrest until the duke and Eric return and the trial can begin. Even though the duke is not back in the capitol yet, crows from his ship off somewhere in the island nations brought messages to his majesty personally (I do not know why the duke uses crows for messages instead of the Royal Messenger Service or even something similar to our scroll case and rubies. Maybe the crows are magical creatures he has bound to his will, or maybe they are creations of some magic item he has, they could also be a summon spell he has learned, or possibly it is just his winning personality that has drawn those loathsome beasts to flock around him) pushing for the charges to include treason. Treason, as you know, will throw a shadow upon everyone associated with the chef, too. Send out scouts immediately to see if they can ascertain the reason for Eric’s delay and rush him back to the capitol. Without Eric’s testimony, the chef is in dire trouble. His majesty has yet to rule it treason, but should the duke return to the capitol before Eric; heads could roll, including ours. Interestingly enough, I was glad to hear of Baron Erlitz being restricted to the castle dungeon until the investigation into the Royal Messenger Service can exonerate him; which it won’t, I’m sure. That will be treason for sure, pay my respects to the Baron, in case he loses his head before my return.Things have not gone as well as expected for me. The caravan is definitely missing. I tracked it to the Flail Snail Inn on the frontier, and for about a day’s ride further, then I lost all trace of it. How can a whole caravan disappear? Six wagons, 50 oxen, drovers, guards, merchants, even the cook’s cart; all gone. No one at the inn seems to have a clue what happened to it. It seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. Send Colin, he is especially good at tracking most things; maybe he can find the clues I missed. We really need our yearly ambrosia supply, the most important thing on the lost caravan (in kegs no less; bless the elvish gods), as our own production, though stable, is extremely slow, (only 10-12 mugs per sennight); this supply is essential for royal meals.I did see one of the Royal Hippogriff Wings fly over us going to the Shield Lord’s aid, confirming that my message (to the king) got through. They probably had to land and walk the final few miles to the shield lord’s keep because of the snowstorm. I assume similar troops are headed to the other Shield Lord, too. Winter is on the horizon in the capitol, but it has already arrived at this northern shield-hold; snow was waist deep until we were well down the mountain from the pass. We were lucky to get through at all, an evil storm hit with high winds and loads of snow just as we turned the last switchback towards the pass. We couldn’t wait out the storm at the top of the pass without risking getting snowed in until summer; so we pushed on past the warm and friendly guard post at the top of the pass wading waist-deep snow to try and get the mountain between us and the storm and then make a camp there, cold but out of the wind and falling snow. We did lose one mule, though; it held most of our rations, so we had to make do with trail rations instead of a hot meal. On this side of the mountain, there is still a medium blanket of snow here at the inn, nearly a fortnight away from the shield lord’s keep; though it only lightly dusted us with snow twice since the pass. I am returning to the capitol and intend to be there in only two fortnights or so, barring inconveniencies.The owner of the inn closest to the last vestiges of the missing caravan’s trail, a rock gnome by the name of Gnude (pronounced gah-NUE-dee, he informed me), owner of the Flail Snail Inn (or so purports the painted sign outside the inn proper, a caricature of a flail snail wielding a sword and shield with arms coming out of the main body below the flail heads); the locals just call it the “inn”) was an exceptionally talkative person. He immediately invited me to try his blue plate special (at a cost of 25gp per serving, I almost balked but I am glad I tried his fare. During our conversation and meals I acquired some more pages of the purloined cook book from him. [He also claimed that gnome (nome) is properly pronounced gah NOM ee; but he winked and smiled to show it was a joke when I burst out laughing]. Again as with the shield lords, he would not tell me who had sent the pages to him but did insist that he had never been to the capitol. He also claimed to have memorized the recipes, very smugly, I might add; and, further, had added them to his menu at the Inn. He firmly refused to stop using the chef’s private recipes for bar food. As I am still outside the boundaries of the king’s normal patrols; and I know of no nearby lords on whom to call for military aid (the shield lord being the closest and most likely snowed in until late spring or early summer; and the gnome’s extended family and elvish employees and retainers far outnumber (and look to be tougher than) my own paltry souls fatigued by cold and privation; so if the chef objects to his foods being traveler’s fare; other methods must be applied: force is not possible at this juncture (Kaleb and/or Kerrik could deal with this if the chef deems it necessary). The gnome and I parted on amicable terms, and I acquired the original pages from him. He did not charge me anything for the pages but did insist that I try his versions of the chef’s lofty foods; I was impressed enough to buy several of his versions of the chef’s “pockets” for my men and I for the road back. Unfortunately, the gnome scribbled his own musings at the bottom of the chef’s recipes, talking mostly about his personal modifications of the recipes to fit his supplies. I regret that I have only two rubies left (only one after this message); so I will send the gnome’s recipe along with this note. My next missive will include the original of the missing cookbook pages, expect it in about a fortnight or so. I thought it prudent to send the new recipes to the chef first.I was also fortunate in that he had enough of his “blue plate special,” as he called it, (served appropriately on a blue plate) that I was able to try it and even gain the recipe for Flail Snail Escargot from Gnude. We talked of many things, as my lips seem to be loosened with good food and I was also able to acquire the magic item recipe for Unguent of Timelessness from the gnome, his own personal version. He claims that it keeps his flail snail escargot fresh and ready to be eaten indefinitely. He claims that he used to run out every winter when the passes were closed and the flail snail caverns were snowed in for the season. Now, he can stock up on his flail snail stores properly preserved with this salve and just make more escargot whenever he runs short, no matter the month.AmbroseHere is the recipe for Gnude’s Blue Plate SpecialFlail Snail EscargotTransmutationIngredients 1 flail snail, de-flailed, removed from shell, rinsed and cut into 1 inch cubes; 16 ounces of yak butter (bull’s strength spell); 1 bushel of finely minced shallots; 21 heads of garlic, peeled and finely chopped; 12 ounces of sea salt, finely ground; 150 course-ground black peppercorns; 36 bunches of parsley, chopped; 12 bunches of tarragon, chopped; 3 loaves of toasted enchanted elven waybread, sliced and cut into dice-sized cubes (see below)Serves: About 20/cauldron; recipe makes about 12 cauldrons; serves 120-150 from the whole flail snail.Meal’s Effects: Carrying capacity increased as if one size larger (humanoids only), +7 enhancement bonus to Strength; both for 24 hours, haste for 10 rounds, counts as 3 full meals per serving, removes fatigue.Time to Eat: 1 hourDirections Load clay oven with mesquite wood.  For the escargots: Melt the butter in a large cauldron over peat fire and add the shallots, snail cubes and garlic. Slowly saute for 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, and then stir in the parsley. Set aside and let cool.  For the garlic and parsley butter: Ingredients 2 gallons of yak butter, soft (bull’s strength spell); 16 ounces of sea salt, finely ground; 75 course-ground black peppercorns; 15 bunches of parsley, chopped; 6 heads of garlic, peeled and chopped.DirectionsMix together the butter, sea salt, pepper, parsley, garlic and tarragon in a gnomish grinder (also known as an iron handmil) until very smooth. Cast bull’s strength spell and enlarge person spell on mixture.For the waybread croutons:Ingredients 3 loaves of enchanted elven waybread; 1 cup of oil of the olive; 3 drams of sea salt, finely ground; 12 black peppercorns, finely groundDirections Load a clay oven with bituminous coal Slice the bread about 3/4-inch thick. Cut off the crusts and then cut the slices into 3/4-inch dice. You should have 18 to 24 cups of croutons. Place the croutons on a sheet pan and toss them with the olive oil, salt, and pepper. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, tossing once, until they're nicely browned on all sides. Cool to room temperature. Gnude’s Gnote: Enchanted elven waybread, though expensive is well worth the ability to remove fatigue, too.Combine:Scoop 3-4 snail cubes into each stone bowl, and then cover with garlic and parsley butter up to the brim. Top each dish with several waybread croutons. Bake until the butter is bubbling and the bread is golden brown, about 7 minutes. Craft (cooking) DC: 25; Caster Level: 10; Market Price: 2,000 gp plus cost of flail snail, Wt. 1 pint per serving.Gnude’s Gnote: I do this in batches, it usually makes 12 batches, which are each decanted into separate cauldrons (the inside of which are previously coated with unguent of timelessness. When a cauldron is full to the rim, the lid (of which the underside is coated with more of the unguent of timelessness) is placed firmly on the cauldron so that it touches the top of the mixture as well as seals the cauldron. Wipe off excess and discard. Unprotected flail snail escargot must be discarded after only 3 days as it goes bad very quickly.Magic Item RecipeUnguent of TimelessnessWhen applied to any matter that was once alive, this ointment allows that substance to resist the passage of time. Each year of actual time affects the substance as if only a day had passed. The coated object gains a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws. The unguent never wears off, although it can be magically removed (by dispelling the effect, for instance). One flask contains enough material to coat eight Medium or smaller objects. A Large object counts as two Medium objects, and a Huge object counts as two Large objects. Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Prerequisite: Craft Wondrous Item; Market Price 150 gp.To make this item, you must start on the set date (or one of the optional ones), have acquired the ingredients, fulfilled all conditions and requirements, and followed the directions.Ingredients1 heart of a stone golem (for the slow time effect)1 gil of sweet vitriol1 drop of vitreous from a basilisk eye (for the protection effects of petrification)1 handful of chalkDate: At midday during high summer on a jade-inlaid* marble table.Optional Date: At midday on the summer solstice on an ebony table inlaid with lapis lazuli*. This option yields double the unguent (the extra hour wiping of the heart does not double.)Optional Date: At midday on a religious holiday of the god/goddess of time on an altar (which may or may not have the symbol of the deity inlaid in silver or platinum) dedicated to the god/goddess of time.*The design must be an infinity symbol, though it can be quite elaborate in its presentation of the symbol.Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, appropriate table/altar, vestments and divine fire (if divine creator), laboratory and elemental fire (if arcane creator), stone mortar, obsidian pestle, iron kettle, silver spoon, flask, all ingredients, caster level 3+, Craft (alchemy) 1+ ranks.Condition: Cloudless Day.Directions: Mix the vitriol, vitreous, and chalk in a stone mortar [I use marble] with an obsidian pestle. Chant the ritual incantation (“Presto Chango”). Pour the mixture into an iron kettle; and, being careful not to splash the ingredients, add the heart. Heat the mixture on an elemental/divine fire for 1 hour. Remove from heat and let dry for two days (until noon) for solidifying into a paste. Using a silver spoon, decant into a flask for storage.Gnude’s Gnote: The heart can be wiped off and reused [careful wiping will garner enough additional unguent to coat one more Medium-sized object, but this takes an extra hour of work]. A close friend of mine from the capitol sent me this recipe so that I would not have to continue to discard most of the escargot (“not enough customers,” says Gnasti, the wife; “equals lots o’ loss”). This friend also instructed me to offer a copy of the magic item recipe to any cook that asked about any of my food recipes.The stone golem heart was very difficult to acquire, but my men found a ruined wizard’s tower defended by one (and only one, thank the gods). After several forays, we were able to dismantle the beast, deactivate it permanently, and thus gain its heart. I was able to purchase the basilisk eye from a merchant that usually passes through here in the spring (though it took him nearly 2 years to find a pair for me); so far that first eye has lasted for multiple batches of the unguent (I use the unguent on the basilisk eyes themselves, to keep them fresh). This unguent does NOT work on actually still living creatures, else my cousin, Gnauseous, would be a conversation-piece at the entrance to the inn rather than the over-talkative hostler that pesters my guests with incessant small talk about crops and weather.</blockquote>

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