Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Steel_Wind" data-source="post: 3643576" data-attributes="member: 20741">&quot;Ever&quot; is a big word. A very big word indeed.&nbsp; You ought not to use it hastily. A good practice, imo, it not to use it all.I am in agreement that anyone who demonstrates a prediliction to carry on parenting in that manner should not be permitted to do so.&nbsp; On that we most certainy both agree.But I am not a believer that a person cannot improve and see the error of their ways.&nbsp; Most do improve (and yes - some don't).Moreover, such finality fails to appreciate the very great harm a permament end to their relationship with their birth mothers can cause to the children. Foster care is often a disastrous and very sad&nbsp; life for a great many children. It is something that many children do not recover from and it does them a great injustice and often&nbsp; worse harm.&nbsp; It is a last resort - not a first resort.Were the mother to improve (and seeing as she has a job and this is not a case of hardcore drug addiction, it is very likely she would improve) it would be much more in the long-term interests of the children to be with their mother.Yes. Really. It would be.So you take them away in short term, set conditions for her to get them back and monitor the situation closely.&nbsp; It's not ideal, but it is the lesser of all evils. If the problem should recur&nbsp; - then matters may well prove to be different.&nbsp; But that's a bridge not yet crossed.It was to these sorts of very final snap judgments that I responded to initially (and a little testily at that). The finality of taking children away forever and placing kids like this into the long-term foster care system is an unwise decision.&nbsp; It is not tempered with the practical knowlege that a long exposure to the courts and child welfare system would provide to you.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Steel_Wind, post: 3643576, member: 20741"] "Ever" is a big word. A very big word indeed. You ought not to use it hastily. A good practice, imo, it not to use it all. I am in agreement that anyone who demonstrates a prediliction to carry on parenting in that manner should not be permitted to do so. On that we most certainy both agree. But I am not a believer that a person cannot improve and see the error of their ways. Most do improve (and yes - some don't). Moreover, such finality fails to appreciate the very great harm a permament end to their relationship with their birth mothers can cause to the children. Foster care is often a [I]disastrous[/I] and very sad life for a great many children. It is something that many children do not recover from and it does them a great injustice and often worse harm. It is a last resort - not a first resort. Were the mother to improve (and seeing as she has a job and this is not a case of hardcore drug addiction, it is very [I]likely[/I] she would improve) it would be much more in the long-term interests of the children to be with their mother. Yes. Really. It would be. So you take them away in short term, set conditions for her to get them back and monitor the situation closely. It's not ideal, but it is the lesser of all evils. If the problem should recur - then matters may well prove to be different. But that's a bridge not yet crossed. It was to these sorts of very final snap judgments that I responded to initially (and a little testily at that). The finality of taking children away forever and placing kids like this into the long-term foster care system is an unwise decision. It is not tempered with the practical knowlege that a long exposure to the courts and child welfare system would provide to you. [/QUOTE]

Verification