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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mark Chance" data-source="post: 1147003" data-attributes="member: 2795">You get a +2 circumstance bonus if you work in front of a red brick wall. Here's some material to help you get started:This panda walks into a cafe, sits down at a table and orders a salad. After eating the salad, the panda pulls out a Glock and blows the waiter away, and then saunters out of the cafe.A man at another table says, "Why isn't anyone doing anything? That waiter's just been shot!"To which another patron replies, "That's just the way pandas are. Look it up."So the man goes home and looks up panda in the encyclopedia, and he reads: "A panda is a black and white bear that lives in temperate-zone bamboo forests in central China. It eats chutes and leaves."*ba-dum-ching!*I read in the news recently about this group of Franciscans who opened up a flower shop right across the street from the Playboy Mansion. The Franciscans provided a full range of flower-delivery options, all with highly religious themes. Hugh Hefner had his legal team take the Franciscans to court, ostensibly for violating zoning ordinances, but in truth the Franciscans were cramping Hefner's scene. Eventually the court ruled in Hefner's favor, and the Franciscans had to close up shop.Which just goes to show: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars!*ba-dum-ching!*A piece of string walks into a bar, hops up on the barstool, and orders a whiskey sour. The bartender looks at the string with disgust and says, "Get outta here! We don't serve string!"So the piece of string leaves the bar and ducks into alley. There it ties itself up and separates its different strands into a bushy mess in order to create a disguise. Then the string re-enters the bar, hops up on the barstool, and orders a whiskey sour.The bartender looks at the string and says, "Say, aren't you that piece of string that was just in here?"To which the string replies, "Nope, I'm afraid not!"*ba-dum-ching!*</blockquote>

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