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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 5049004" data-attributes="member: 508">A young ranger is hunting in the woods and sees a black bear.  He lets fly with an arrow and kills the bear dead.  However, as he approaches the bear to retrieve his arrow, a larger black bear jumps out from behind a tree.  With his claws at the ranger's throat, the bear growls "Hey, that bear you killed was a friend of mine!  Now, you have two choices: I can kill you right now, or you can agree to let me have my way with you.  Which will it be?"The ranger realizes he doesn't have time to grab another arrow before getting his throat ripped out, so he reluctantly drops his drawers and lets the bear have his way with him.  After the bear's finished, the ranger pulls up his breeches and hobbles back to town to be seen by the clerics at the local healing temple.  The whole time he's healing up, he's mentally plotting his revenge on the black bear.So, once he's healed up, he goes back to the woods and tracks the black bear who took advantage of him.  Catching the bear unawares, he lets fly with his arrow and kills the black bear dead.  However, before he can go to retrieve his arrow, there's a tap on his shoulder.  Spinning around, he sees an even larger grizzly bear staring down at him.  "That black bear was a friend of mine!" the grizzly bear growls.  "Now, you've got two choices: I'll either kill you right now, or you can let me have my very violent way with you.  What'll it be?"The ranger realizes that there's no way he can attack the grizzly before the massive bear slices him to ribbons.  So once again, he finds himself dropping his drawers and wincing in pain as the bear goes about his business.  After the grizzly finishes, the ranger waddles back to the healer and spends quite a lot of time healing up (while lying on his stomach).  Naturally, he's burning with a desire for revenge the whole time.And sure enough, once he's healed up, he goes back to the woods and tracks the violent grizzly that took advantage of him, slaying him with his arrow before the bear has a chance to react.As he's reveling in his kill, he feels a tap on his shoulder, and his face drains of blood.  Turning, he sees an even bigger polar bear standing there, ready to rip his throat out if he so much as twitches."You know," says the polar bear, "I'm starting to wonder if it's really the hunting that you find so appealing out here in the woods...."Johnathan</blockquote>

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