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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Keldryn" data-source="post: 3795405" data-attributes="member: 11999">I always feel really guilty when I behave like this player, so I don't know that doing things just to "show him" does anything more than rub salt in the wounds.  He knows that he make a commitment he couldn't keep, he knows that he should have given you more notice, and he knows that he should have managed his time better.  I get really angry when people comment on me "always being late" or what have you, because I know that I am frequently late and I always try to make it on time, but I'm forever underestimating how long things will take (even building a buffer into my estimates) or committing to doing too many things at once.  This sort of "executive dysfunction" is one of the defining traits of ADHD/PI.  We're great at being creative and with tasks that require lateral thinking.  Organization, time management, and linear tasks are often a struggle.  ADHD is not so much the inability to pay attention, but an inability to regulate attention.  There are physiological differences in certain areas of the prefrontal lobes of the brain in people classified as ADD or ADHD, structures which seem to be partly responsible for the regulation of attention, arousal, motivation, and executive function.  The best solution in such a case might be to not base any of your major plotlines around his character; any adventure hooks directly related to his character should be ones that you could drop in at pretty much any time and run within the session.  As goofy as it sounds, give his character a reason to be mysteriously running off without much notice (and the opportunities to do so).  If you're creating events in your game such that they are dependent upon this player's participation, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment.  I have no idea how close you are to this player and if it's the type of thing you can talk about (ADHD).  For me, having my doctor suggest ADHD (instead of the expected and typical "you're depressed" diagnosis), was life-changing.</blockquote>

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