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Message: <blockquote data-quote="AntiStateQuixote" data-source="post: 2411164" data-attributes="member: 30770">Advice on Ostracizing a Player<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Talk bad about him behind his back to get everyone else on your side and against him.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Never invite him to group functions.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If he shows up anyway, pointedly ignore his presence and talk bad about him to other people where he can hear you.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Since this type of behavior will likely provoke your victim, use his reactions as an example of his boorish behavior and a clear indicator to others that he should be ostracized.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Make efforts to find or invent examples of him cheating so that others will not want him around during games.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Invent stories about his sexuality and/or hygiene that will turn others against him.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If he has a significant other who is part of the group, work to turn that person against him by making up stories about his infidelity.  Provide doctored photographs as proof if necessary.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If anyone tries to take the victim's side, subject them to increasing degrees of the same treatment until they stop defending your victim or they become ostracized as well.</li> </ol>OK, so, that's not what you really wanted, but how could I resist a title like that: Player Ostracism: Advice Needed. So, seriously . . .<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The Guys need to grow a pair of balls (one pair each, preferably) and talk to Spud.  They should tell him they don't want to game with him, why they don't want to game with him, but that otherwise they are cool with hanging out with him.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If you want to play DnD and this is your only outlet . . . go for it.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If Spud's presence at the game will detract from everyone else's fun . . . he's not invited.  Why in the HELL would you play a game with someone you don't like playing with?  Games are fun . . . friend-drama is not fun.  Games and friend-drama don't mix.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I would absolutely tell Spud that I am playing DnD with The Guys and that they (and I?) didn't invite him . . . and I'd tell him why.  If he's really a friend he's got to understand that a game is for fun and if he's not fun . . . WTF?  How simple is this?</li> </ol>Someone already mentioned the Geek Social Fallacies (<a href="http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html" target="_blank">http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html</a>).  You don't have to play DnD with your friend in order for him to continue being your friend.  I have friends that I drink beer with, but that I would never invite to a DnD game.  I have a couple of DnD friends that I would never go drink beer with.  My geek friends are for gaming . . . they are not my party friends.  They understand that.  My board game geek friends are for board games . . . not DnD or partying.  They understand that (or don't care about it).  Anyhow, you get the picture.  Spud does not have to be involved in every part of your social/entertainment life to be a friend.</blockquote>

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