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<blockquote data-quote="Thornir Alekeg" data-source="post: 2765959" data-attributes="member: 15651">As the (former) DM of a group that included my wife, I would like to offer a couple of comments:Jubilee: I don't think &quot;suck it up and emotionally distance yourself from the character&quot; is the right thing.&nbsp; I do think you need to examine the separation between your emotions and your characters, but &quot;sucking it up&quot; and &quot;emotionally distancing&quot; sound too much like you will just stop caring about the character completely.&nbsp; Don't do that.I was wondering if you think you might not be as personally upset if the DM were not your husband?&nbsp; My wife and I went through this a bit.&nbsp; We share so much together and trust each other so much, but we had to understand that in D&amp;D, I as DM had to have secrets and would occasionally do things to the party, and even her character, that she might not like.&nbsp; None of it was personal in nature, I just did what I thought would be best for the enjoyment and challenge to everyone.&nbsp; To me, this whole thing sounds great and it sounds like you have a great group.&nbsp; Remember that it is only a game.&nbsp; Try to think of what your character would do in that situation looking forward, not how it hurt you and/or your character looking back.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Thornir Alekeg, post: 2765959, member: 15651"] As the (former) DM of a group that included my wife, I would like to offer a couple of comments: Jubilee: I don't think "suck it up and emotionally distance yourself from the character" is the right thing. I do think you need to examine the separation between your emotions and your characters, but "sucking it up" and "emotionally distancing" sound too much like you will just stop caring about the character completely. Don't do that. I was wondering if you think you might not be as personally upset if the DM were not your husband? My wife and I went through this a bit. We share so much together and trust each other so much, but we had to understand that in D&D, I as DM had to have secrets and would occasionally do things to the party, and even her character, that she might not like. None of it was personal in nature, I just did what I thought would be best for the enjoyment and challenge to everyone. To me, this whole thing sounds great and it sounds like you have a great group. Remember that it is only a game. Try to think of what your character would do in that situation looking forward, not how it hurt you and/or your character looking back. [/QUOTE]

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