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<blockquote data-quote="Afrodyte" data-source="post: 4912281" data-attributes="member: 8713"><p>All this talk of evil campaigns makes me yearn to run a D&D game based on <em>Inglourious Basterds</em>. Imagine a half-elven ranger comes up to the group:</p><p></p><p><em>My name is Adran Varis and I need me eight soldiers. Eight elven-blooded soldiers. Now, y'all might of heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into Lala Land, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only... killing goblins. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Members of of the goblinoid races conquered elven lands through murder, torture, intimation, and terror. And that's exactly what we're gonna do to them. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half this kingdom and then jump out of a <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />in' flying ship to teach the goblins lessons in humanity. Goblin ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of an elf-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why every son of a bitch we find wearin' a goblin's uniform, they're gonna die. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>We will be cruel to the goblins and through our cruelty they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, disfigured bodies their brothers we leave behind us and the goblins will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our spells, at our arrows, and the edge of our blades. And the goblins will be sickened by us, the goblins will talk about us and the goblins will fear us. And when the goblins close their eyes at night and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that it tortures them with. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Sooooound good?!</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>But I got a word of warning to all would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on a debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred goblin scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred goblin scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead goblins. Or you will die tryin'.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Afrodyte, post: 4912281, member: 8713"] All this talk of evil campaigns makes me yearn to run a D&D game based on [I]Inglourious Basterds[/I]. Imagine a half-elven ranger comes up to the group: [I]My name is Adran Varis and I need me eight soldiers. Eight elven-blooded soldiers. Now, y'all might of heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into Lala Land, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only... killing goblins. Members of of the goblinoid races conquered elven lands through murder, torture, intimation, and terror. And that's exactly what we're gonna do to them. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half this kingdom and then jump out of a :):):):)in' flying ship to teach the goblins lessons in humanity. Goblin ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of an elf-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why every son of a bitch we find wearin' a goblin's uniform, they're gonna die. We will be cruel to the goblins and through our cruelty they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, disfigured bodies their brothers we leave behind us and the goblins will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our spells, at our arrows, and the edge of our blades. And the goblins will be sickened by us, the goblins will talk about us and the goblins will fear us. And when the goblins close their eyes at night and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that it tortures them with. Sooooound good?! But I got a word of warning to all would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on a debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred goblin scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred goblin scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead goblins. Or you will die tryin'.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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