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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Chimera" data-source="post: 4044779" data-attributes="member: 2002">I guess that's the problem I have with the terms Whining and Complaining in this thread.  They're non-cooperative on both sides.I've tried to speak to several GMs over the years only to have them slam and dismiss me as whining and/complaining rather than to listen to what I am saying and deal with it productively.  It's a defensive non-cooperative attitude to simply dismiss others as whining and/or complaining.  It allows one to engage the ego and rationalize away actually listening to what the other person is saying.  Unfortunately, far too often it is done not on the basis of what it being said, but by dismissing the content and focusing on percieved wrongs with the WAY it is being said.For example, a couple of years ago I got into a large game (7 players) where in the first two sessions, a lot of side-encounters happened involving the two scouts (or rather, the Rogue and the Scout) and with night encounters where my Wizard was useless because I'd expended my meager complement of spells.  Thus after two sessions, those two PCs had at least 50% more experience than most of the rest of the party.  Clearly, from a personal and player perspective, this was going to be a severe problem if this pattern continued!I attempted to speak to the GM about it.  Now what I didn't know was that he had a mechanism in place to deal with extreme XP differences in the party.  But even so, it was still going to be an issue for the whole group, as another player pointed out in asking if I, the party Wizard would get 100% of the XPs for killing a group of monters at long range the moment I hit 5th level and got Fireball.Unfortunately, the GM was very defensive and decided that I was nothing but a whiner.  He ended up changing things around because other people brought up their concerns, but it set the tone in his mind that I was a problem player and we ultimately had more problems with each other down the line.I was also very unhappy that his "solution" was to create a lot more opportunities for my Wizard to gain XP so that at the end of 5 sessions, I was the XP leader.  In other words, instead of listening to real concerns and making minor adjustments, he decided that the best solution would be to 'buy off the troublemaker', which was not only unnecessary, but undesirable on my end because it showed bad faith.</blockquote>

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