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Problem player in my group
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<blockquote data-quote="Janx" data-source="post: 4572629" data-attributes="member: 8835"><p>Not to plug my own blog, but I wrote an entry on dealing with problem players. Try that.</p><p></p><p>Key factor is this, in trying to fix the problem, you have a % chance of losing a friend. While friends aren't a dime a dozen, you've got to consider the price.</p><p></p><p>In the same vein, what kind of friend is he? Was he there for you when you were breaking up? Was he there when your relative died? Was he there to talk you down from that ledge? Was he there to help you move? Was he there to help you move the body?</p><p></p><p>Seriously. We might call someone a friend because we do the same activity together, but that's not a deep friendship. You're not losing much, in reality, if it fails, which oddly enough the % chance is higher for that type of friend anyway.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Other things to be wary of:</p><p>talking to others about Fred can be seen as talking behind his back (kind of hard to build a concensus on the problem, but it's true)</p><p>having the group talk to Fred can feel like you're ganging up on him</p><p>while the whole group may feel the same, fact is YOU have a problem with Fred, so solve that problem WITH Fred.</p><p>You don't have the right (as an individual) to kick Fred out (the GM or Host may have that right)</p><p>People with problem behaviors often swear to change, and they do for awhile, then they lapse back. The only cure is to not let them be in such situations anymore.</p><p></p><p>When Fred acts a certain way during the game, it makes you feel bad. Since nobody else acts that way, Fred's the odd duck. You can't make Fred change. Fred can understand that you have a right to not play in such an environment. Therefore, if Fred continues, YOU can quit. Go do something fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janx, post: 4572629, member: 8835"] Not to plug my own blog, but I wrote an entry on dealing with problem players. Try that. Key factor is this, in trying to fix the problem, you have a % chance of losing a friend. While friends aren't a dime a dozen, you've got to consider the price. In the same vein, what kind of friend is he? Was he there for you when you were breaking up? Was he there when your relative died? Was he there to talk you down from that ledge? Was he there to help you move? Was he there to help you move the body? Seriously. We might call someone a friend because we do the same activity together, but that's not a deep friendship. You're not losing much, in reality, if it fails, which oddly enough the % chance is higher for that type of friend anyway. Other things to be wary of: talking to others about Fred can be seen as talking behind his back (kind of hard to build a concensus on the problem, but it's true) having the group talk to Fred can feel like you're ganging up on him while the whole group may feel the same, fact is YOU have a problem with Fred, so solve that problem WITH Fred. You don't have the right (as an individual) to kick Fred out (the GM or Host may have that right) People with problem behaviors often swear to change, and they do for awhile, then they lapse back. The only cure is to not let them be in such situations anymore. When Fred acts a certain way during the game, it makes you feel bad. Since nobody else acts that way, Fred's the odd duck. You can't make Fred change. Fred can understand that you have a right to not play in such an environment. Therefore, if Fred continues, YOU can quit. Go do something fun. [/QUOTE]
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