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<blockquote data-quote="apocalypstick" data-source="post: 1036229" data-attributes="member: 12356">Yell at him.Not in front of the group, of course, but let yourself go, man. Blow your top at him. Just do it constructively. I don't know the guy, obviously, but IME, guys are less likely to respond positively to a &quot;touchy-feely-lets-talk-about-it&quot; conversation than a &quot;dude! what's up?! you're severely pissing me off here!&quot; the former seems patronizing; the latter (again, IME) actually comes off as more respectful.Sounds horrible, I know. But &quot;lets talk about our feelings&quot; can be somewhat emasculating when it's between guys. Obviously you want something constructive to come from this exchange, so I don't think I should have to mention that after you challenge him to shape up, let him know that you're only pissed off at him because you're his friend and you want to know what's keeping him from having a good time.Just a guy's perspective. Feel free to disagree. And, of course, the caveat: if he is sufferng from emotional issues that would be better dealt with by a &quot;pro&quot; than just a good-natured kick in the pants from a friend, this approach will probably help in the short run but hurt more in the long run.You know best.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="apocalypstick, post: 1036229, member: 12356"] Yell at him. Not in front of the group, of course, but let yourself go, man. Blow your top at him. Just do it constructively. I don't know the guy, obviously, but IME, guys are less likely to respond positively to a "touchy-feely-lets-talk-about-it" conversation than a "dude! what's up?! you're severely pissing me off here!" the former seems patronizing; the latter (again, IME) actually comes off as more respectful. Sounds horrible, I know. But "lets talk about our feelings" can be somewhat emasculating when it's between guys. Obviously you want something constructive to come from this exchange, so I don't think I should have to mention that after you challenge him to shape up, let him know that you're only pissed off at him because you're his friend and you want to know what's keeping him from having a good time. Just a guy's perspective. Feel free to disagree. And, of course, the caveat: if he is sufferng from emotional issues that would be better dealt with by a "pro" than just a good-natured kick in the pants from a friend, this approach will probably help in the short run but hurt more in the long run. You know best. [/QUOTE]

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