Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
White Dwarf Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Nest
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
EN Publishing
Twitter
BlueSky
Facebook
Instagram
EN World
BlueSky
YouTube
Facebook
Twitter
Twitch
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
Proof readers needed for home brew intro
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="CRGreathouse" data-source="post: 2105555" data-attributes="member: 474"><p>In general, the page looks good. I'll point out a few minor things that could be tweaked, just so you can tell I acually looked it over. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue :p" data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> </p><p></p><p>"Every Neomagic caster is automatically a member, and under the jurisdiction of, the guild."</p><p>This is a bit confusing to read. "Of" needs to apply to both parts, so I would either change "member" to "member of" or "jusistiction of," to "jusistiction, of".</p><p></p><p>"Ruins and dungeons exist in the Free Lands, but they are older human structures. They are not terribly common. There are also ruins of the ancients, but they are more like museums or archeological sites and pose little danger to the visitor."</p><p>From the first sentence, aren't the ruins and dungeons essentially "ruins of the ancients"? I think some distinction needs to be drawn here. Ideally you'd mention the difference between the creators of the first two vs. the "ancients", but somehow you need to differentiate these.</p><p></p><p>"Average levels of NPCs in the game will be low. A young sailor is a level 1 or 2 FLS sailor, with your average professional being 4th or 5th. A captain might be level 6. Skilled professionals, like famous smiths, healers, etc. will have higher levels (to allow them access to higher skills)."</p><p>I'm not sure these levels are low at all. The average professional is probably not even 2nd level going by the DMG---battlefield knights are generally 1st level fighters, after all!</p><p></p><p>"-The vast majority of people are neutral. Only a thin crust on the edges is actually good or evil.</p><p>-Most people are neutral, but a fair amount are chaotic / lawful."</p><p>Percentages may be helpful here: is "vast majority" 70% (a vast electoral margin, for example), 95% (a 'typical' vast majority), or 99.9995% (a vast majority not infected by a disease or other similar afflication)? Similarely, how many constitute "most" in the second (ethical) alignment spectrum?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CRGreathouse, post: 2105555, member: 474"] In general, the page looks good. I'll point out a few minor things that could be tweaked, just so you can tell I acually looked it over. :p "Every Neomagic caster is automatically a member, and under the jurisdiction of, the guild." This is a bit confusing to read. "Of" needs to apply to both parts, so I would either change "member" to "member of" or "jusistiction of," to "jusistiction, of". "Ruins and dungeons exist in the Free Lands, but they are older human structures. They are not terribly common. There are also ruins of the ancients, but they are more like museums or archeological sites and pose little danger to the visitor." From the first sentence, aren't the ruins and dungeons essentially "ruins of the ancients"? I think some distinction needs to be drawn here. Ideally you'd mention the difference between the creators of the first two vs. the "ancients", but somehow you need to differentiate these. "Average levels of NPCs in the game will be low. A young sailor is a level 1 or 2 FLS sailor, with your average professional being 4th or 5th. A captain might be level 6. Skilled professionals, like famous smiths, healers, etc. will have higher levels (to allow them access to higher skills)." I'm not sure these levels are low at all. The average professional is probably not even 2nd level going by the DMG---battlefield knights are generally 1st level fighters, after all! "-The vast majority of people are neutral. Only a thin crust on the edges is actually good or evil. -Most people are neutral, but a fair amount are chaotic / lawful." Percentages may be helpful here: is "vast majority" 70% (a vast electoral margin, for example), 95% (a 'typical' vast majority), or 99.9995% (a vast majority not infected by a disease or other similar afflication)? Similarely, how many constitute "most" in the second (ethical) alignment spectrum? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
Proof readers needed for home brew intro
Top