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<blockquote data-quote="CRGreathouse" data-source="post: 2105555" data-attributes="member: 474">In general, the page looks good.&nbsp; I'll point out a few minor things that could be tweaked, just so you can tell I acually looked it over.&nbsp; <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue&nbsp; &nbsp; :p"&nbsp; data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> &quot;Every Neomagic caster is automatically a member, and under the jurisdiction of, the guild.&quot;This is a bit confusing to read.&nbsp; &quot;Of&quot; needs to apply to both parts, so I would either change &quot;member&quot; to &quot;member of&quot; or &quot;jusistiction of,&quot; to &quot;jusistiction, of&quot;.&quot;Ruins and dungeons exist in the Free Lands, but they are older human structures. They are not terribly common. There are also ruins of the ancients, but they are more like museums or archeological sites and pose little danger to the visitor.&quot;From the first sentence, aren't the ruins and dungeons essentially &quot;ruins of the ancients&quot;?&nbsp; I think some distinction needs to be drawn here.&nbsp; Ideally you'd mention the difference between the creators of the first two vs. the &quot;ancients&quot;, but somehow you need to differentiate these.&quot;Average levels of NPCs in the game will be low. A young sailor is a level 1 or 2 FLS sailor, with your average professional being 4th or 5th. A captain might be level 6. Skilled professionals, like famous smiths, healers, etc. will have higher levels (to allow them access to higher skills).&quot;I'm not sure these levels are low at all.&nbsp; The average professional is probably not even 2nd level going by the DMG---battlefield knights are generally 1st level fighters, after all!&quot;-The vast majority of people are neutral. Only a thin crust on the edges is actually good or evil.-Most people are neutral, but a fair amount are chaotic / lawful.&quot;Percentages may be helpful here: is &quot;vast majority&quot; 70% (a vast electoral margin, for example), 95% (a 'typical' vast majority), or 99.9995% (a vast majority not infected by a disease or other similar afflication)?&nbsp; Similarely, how many constitute &quot;most&quot; in the second (ethical) alignment spectrum?</blockquote>

[QUOTE="CRGreathouse, post: 2105555, member: 474"] In general, the page looks good. I'll point out a few minor things that could be tweaked, just so you can tell I acually looked it over. :p "Every Neomagic caster is automatically a member, and under the jurisdiction of, the guild." This is a bit confusing to read. "Of" needs to apply to both parts, so I would either change "member" to "member of" or "jusistiction of," to "jusistiction, of". "Ruins and dungeons exist in the Free Lands, but they are older human structures. They are not terribly common. There are also ruins of the ancients, but they are more like museums or archeological sites and pose little danger to the visitor." From the first sentence, aren't the ruins and dungeons essentially "ruins of the ancients"? I think some distinction needs to be drawn here. Ideally you'd mention the difference between the creators of the first two vs. the "ancients", but somehow you need to differentiate these. "Average levels of NPCs in the game will be low. A young sailor is a level 1 or 2 FLS sailor, with your average professional being 4th or 5th. A captain might be level 6. Skilled professionals, like famous smiths, healers, etc. will have higher levels (to allow them access to higher skills)." I'm not sure these levels are low at all. The average professional is probably not even 2nd level going by the DMG---battlefield knights are generally 1st level fighters, after all! "-The vast majority of people are neutral. Only a thin crust on the edges is actually good or evil. -Most people are neutral, but a fair amount are chaotic / lawful." Percentages may be helpful here: is "vast majority" 70% (a vast electoral margin, for example), 95% (a 'typical' vast majority), or 99.9995% (a vast majority not infected by a disease or other similar afflication)? Similarely, how many constitute "most" in the second (ethical) alignment spectrum? [/QUOTE]

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