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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Whizbang Dustyboots" data-source="post: 3271401" data-attributes="member: 11760">"Right, then," Tock says. "Those of us good at killing nasty things should sneak up on the thing and slay it while it sleeps. No need to risk incurring further harm to the rest of us.""That's what I like ta hear, Tock!" Emus grins. "Maybe you kin put another arrow through this beastie's eye, too!""It didn't sound like those tunnels made for easy traveling for you talk folk," Bufer says, glancing from one member of the party to the other. "Not a lot of room to move in there, either: Y'all might just wind up getting in each other's way. Might be easier to lure it out of there and ambush it once it's out in the open.""There is that brute approach, yes," Tock says, "Or Tosh and our barbaric friend could try to sneak up on it, bash it apart, and, if it lives, lead it out to our carefully-laid ambush.""I betcha it's hibernating," Emus says. "If it eats men, and it hasn't come after us after all the racket Renraw keeps makin', then it's obviously got somethin' else on its mind.""The battleaxe," Renraw interjects. "The strongest here should creep up on the thing and bring the girl's axe down on its head while it sleeps.""I take it you've never been hunting, Seed-counter," Tucker drawl. "I've seen animals go for an hour or more, even with a sure killing wound on 'em. We send someone in there, they'll need speed and fortitude more than strength, or else they'll be snack food for a birdbear with an axe in its forehead. Bufer, your plan sounds good to me. Seed, you still have your butter? We can still lay your grease trap if things get too rough.""I don't care where you've been hunting," Renraw snaps back. "There is no creature that will continue fighting with a severed spinal column. There may be some minor death spasms, maybe even a slim chance of one last deadly flail, but no beheaded animal will fight. Tell me the shot would be too difficult, tell me there's not enough leverage the way the beast lies, tell me there's no way to be certain where to make the cut, but do not try to tell me an axe cannot kill a sleeping bear with one blow."Hazel, who has been listening with a pained expression, finally speaks up."If we lure it out here, it's got four options to dodge past us, and one of those leads it outside. We have no idea how fast it moves or how sharp its claws are," she says. "And despite Renraw's simplistic notions about combat, if we could simply end its life with one blow, that would be for the best."Since we can't, however, we either need to lure it to the chamber at the top of the stairs, or move silently into its den. The den itself is wide enough for the job; it's just the tunnel that we don't want to be trapped in."Renraw rounds on Haze, stabbing toward her with an outstretched finger."And you, woman, do not get to tell me what's simplistic! You, who has been whining since the start about letting the thing live. Disagree if you must, provide an alternate strategy if you can, but you will not condescend. You haven't the right, you whom the gnome healed, no questions asked. No 'why didn't you dodge better, Hazel? You're so foolish!' No 'you're endangering the party by being a woman, Hazel!' Just 'oh, I see someone is hurt, I shall use my healing gifts to restore them in the name of my god. Simply because it is the right thing to do.'"Renraw's imitation of Bufer is poor but clearly recognizable."Boy, if the beast comes out here goin' on about account balancing or something, or whether it's better cast an acid spell or use a club, then we'd all be happy to hear yer expertise," Emus snarls. "Until then, I think it's high time you shut the hell up. I'm tired'a listening to yer whining.""Renraw, do not forget that the condition you are in was the result of your own foolishness," Emmerson says. "Twice you meddled with things you did not comprehend and one of them swatted you like we would a bug."The feud you and Ebuferpaly have going on is both tiresome and dangerous. I cannot force him to heal you more than I can force you to recognize your mistake and be healed. I see his point about our limited healing resources and that we cannot squander that talent. But what I'd like you to understand is that if the creature wakes and somehow gets past us, it will need to do nothing harder than breathe down your neck to kill you. Mourned you will be, and -- if we're lucky -- I will carry your corpse back to town to give burial.""Fine, ya great bloody nitwit! The thing's sleeping curled up in a ball, not with its neck stretched out on a chopping block," Tucker joins in on Renraw. "Most people wouldn't need that spelled out for them, but while we're at it, grass is green and fire is hot! Oh, and after you breathe out, don't forget to breathe back in again. Anything else you need us to hold your hand and walk you through? Or maybe they were going to cover all that in your second year of schooling.""You doltish oaf!" Renraw explodes. "You've not been in the den with the bear, you don't know how its neck is oriented, and you haven't the slightest clue whether or not the chop is possible. Your first answer was that it couldn't be done. Now, upon me reminding you that, yes, it could be done, you've tried to make it sound as though that isn't what you said."I don't mind if the group doesn't want to use my plan, if you believe it to be too difficult, or if you believe the dwarf hasn't the fortitude. But don't tell me it's not possible when clearly it is. I don't know what magical woodland creatures you all spend your time hunting, but I've studied anatomy. And I've killed enough small animals to know. When you separate a thing's brain from its body -- unless it's a chicken -- you don't get 'thrashing,' you get a couple of minor, easily avoidable spasms. I'd do it if I had the propensity for axe-swinging that some of you have, or if the gnome, the, er, sneaky one, told us how its head was oriented."Now, I get the idea that the group is starting to become irritated with me," he says, suddenly taking on a pious air, "And Lothian knows I'm not one to rub people the wrong way, so I just have one request before I still myself. Please choose your words more carefully before you dismiss what I have to say."Hazel has been flipping her axe in the air and catching it by the handle over and over as Renraw has gone on and on. Now that he's wound down, she flips the battleaxe around in her hand and offers him the haft."Perhaps you'd like to strike the killing blow, then? It's apparently quite simple: Just sneak up on the sleeping animal, determine where its spine is, and sever it with one strike. Then leap back to avoid any unpleasant disemboweling as it thrashes itself to death.""All right, all right," Bufer says loudly enough to be heard over the din. He puts one hand on the outstretched haft of Hazel's axe, and shakes his head softly at her before the wizard has a chance to reply. "Kem's cast his vote, as is his right: he wants to beard the animal in its den as it sleeps, along with Tock and Hazel, and Emus I believe. Tucker and I lean more towards luring it out into the open and ambushing it. Anyone else want to speak up?""Yes, I've something to say, now that I think about it." Renraw is clearly still angry. "Your plan, gnome, is not a bad one. And I've no problem using the ingenious grease trap I devised as a back-up, if the need arises. Lothian knows that I am not one to hold a grudge. I can and will let go of all the various wrongs done me today. So I just want the group to know that if the birdbear kills one or more of us because we didn't use my plan, I will still mourn them just the same as if we had made the correct decision instead."The group stares at Renraw in silence and, feeling awkward, the wizard busies himself brushing his clothes clean."Well said, Kem," Bufer says, with a raised eyebrow, before turning to the others "Ahem. Now, does anyone else -- anyone who isn't a squirrel-molesting bookkeeper -- have anything to add? Rags? Emmerson? Tosh? You lot haven't weighed in on the options before us, yet.""I have no problem with the luring idea," Tosh says softly. "Indeed, I think I could easily hide in the den and wait for it to get into the tunnel, thereby having an ample opportunity at its exposed hindquarters."Of course, that leaves me a bit separated from the rest. Not an optimal situation in my condition, but still good for a decent amount of carnage on my part. I suggest if we try this particular tactic that we wait until it reaches the non-excavated area. Footing for our people will be better there and we'll be able to put more on attack, and keeping it in a more confined area."Yes, yes, I think the idea is sound. I suggest that Bufer provides the illusion, as I may compromise my hiding if I were to do it. What I can do is wake it with a rock, and then quickly hide. The rest will be up to you in the luring, as I'll be cowering in the deepest of shadow. I only hope it can't smell fear."Ragglus yawns, switching from his flail to his longsword, then turns and spits."Bring it out here n' kill it."</blockquote>

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