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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Whizbang Dustyboots" data-source="post: 3346320" data-attributes="member: 11760">"There won't be a next time, Kem, at least not with my participation, but next time, let the diplomat sort things out," Emmerson whispers at Renraw as the wizard very carefully gets on his knees."And how would you have us negotiate?" Renraw snaps back. "This one barely understands Imperial. Lothian would want you to live, wouldn't he? Let's make them comfortable communicating with us so that can happen.""She understood you pretty well, Kem," the paladin replies, "Hence our current situation.""Did I, heh, did I mention how much I love the kobold people?" Renraw grins hopefully at their captors.Hazel turns away before she gives into temptation; bad enough the group is arguing in front of the enemy, it'd be even worse if she gave the wizard the slapping he so deserves. She looks at the kobolds' crossbows, weighing her options, then follows the kobold's order. She prays her family won't be picking out her burial dress by nightfall.The kobold makes a big show of putting her pickaxe away as she walks off a dozen yards or so with Hazel, toward the mouth of the cairn."Chatty one, he wizard, yes? He no good to you, wants to trade your lives for his, but I think you and I, we can make deal, softskin."Hazel sends a glare Renraw's way, then nods her head in acknowledgement of the kobold's words."I'd like to know who I'm dealing with, first." She's careful to keep her voice cautious, almost respectful, and her hands open and relaxed. "But what do you have in mind?"The kobold hisses a little at the insistence for a name."My people do not like giving dragon names to softskins. You call me," she pauses and looks around, thinking. "Call me Pick, OK? What you name?""My apologies, Pick. I meant no offense. You can call me Hazel.""Hazel like tree? OK." Pick glances disdainfully at the groups eyeing each other before looking back at the ranger. "We not here to fight you, I not think you here to fight us. So we both do what we want, but no interfere, OK?"Even though Pick's light-sensitive eyes are hidden behind the dark glass of her goggles, Hazel can feel the female kobold scrutinizing her."But to make sure, we do a trade, OK?""I think we can all agree not to interfere with you and your group, Pick," Hazel shoots a stern look at Tucker and Emmerson, in case the men are spoiling for a fight. "I would hope that our word on it would be enough to satisfy you, though I can certainly understand why you feel it might not be." Scowling at Renraw, she adds, only half-joking, "Those who can't keep their word can be trussed up and carried back to town like a fine Theoday supper, if need be."But I can't agree to a trade without knowing the terms."Pick, to the extent that Hazel can read the reptilian facial expressions, seems unconvinced that Tucker and Bufer won't attack her men at the first opportunity."We tie up your talky-talk wizard, and you tie up one of my idiots, like the talky-talk Wormy, and we each take with us as hostage. We go do what we want in cairn, you do what you want here. You take Wormy back to Apple Town, we take wizard back to Green Mountain. When everyone safe and sound, we send wizard back to you, and you let Wormy go."Fair trade. Everyone behave themselves because otherwise hostage go krrrrrk!" Pick makes the universal sign for having one's throat slit with a mitten-covered thumb across her own throat. "You friend with gnome. This is only way we can trust. OK, sounds fair?"Hazel clamps down the desire to pull some rope out of her pack and ask which one's Wormy."Frankly, I'd prefer nothing more than to rid our party of this grasping hanger-on. You've heard him: His mouth's open so often it's practically a breeding ground for flies." Hazel bites her lip and shakes her head with regret. "But I just can't do it. He's a real troublemaker, true, but problem is, he's a big enough troublemaker that the baron's taken notice. Paying off his debt to the community 'n' all. So he goes missin', it gets round to the constable, and I'm the one in trouble, see?"Hazel looks at the group, wishing she had a diplomat's way with words."Perhaps we could simply send our loudmouth back to town with an escort." She gestures at Tucker. "That one's unsuited for silent contemplation anyway.""Mmmmm," Pick growls to herself, thinking. Hazel gets the distinct impression she's as eager to get rid of Wormy as the ranger is to get rid of Renraw. "We need security. Gnomes are tricksy, can't take their word or word of their friends. Gnomes only understand threat of krrrrrk!"She makes the motion across her throat again."OK, maybe we tie up Wormy, tie up wizard, have one guard from softskin group, one guard from our group, take Wormy and wizard away together. Any funny gnomey or kobold business and krrrrrk. Sound OK? Your baron don't mind if wizard go krrrrrk, I'm sure."Hazel nods along, weighing the proposal, opens her mouth, closes it, and looks perplexed."That does sound like a good solution, Pick, but if we send Wormy and our idiot off with a couple guards, how will the guards know if anything goes wrong? Seems like the trade requires 'em to be in earshot at least, yeah? Better still if we can see 'em: That'd be a clear reminder to be on good behavior."Of course, best of all ... " Hazel peers into the kobold's eyes as best she can through the goggles, her face honest and affable. "Well, best of all would be agreeing to abide by the non-interference agreement without the need for threats."Beause I'm pretty sure the baron wouldn't see it the way you 'n' I do, and I'd hate to land in trouble on account of that idiot." She jerks her thumb toward Renraw. "Even if everything worked out fine -- which no doubt it would, since we're both honorable folks -- he'd go telling tales to the baron and stir up a hornet's nest. Best just to send him home with nothing to tell."She looks over at Bufer and sighs softly; he'd no doubt have some sneaky way to slip out of this situation with ease. Hazel's got nothing but logic and patience."But it's not the wizard that's the problem, right, Pick? We both know he's an idiot -- and between you and me, I wouldn't want to inflict him on you any more than I enjoy listening to him myself -- but he's an easily contained idiot."But the gnome ... Sometimes it seems like they're all pranksters, ignoring the laws of order and common sense when it suits 'em, eh? This one, though, I'd vouch for him: He's a decent sort of fellow, most of the time. But I can see how you, not knowing him, wouldn't feel the same."So maybe he agrees to head back to town, too, have a pint on my coppers at the tavern." She looks over at Bufer, then back to the kobold. "Would that suit you, Pick?"Pick shakes her head."I take word of gnome-friend, new big boss make me into pair of boots. Need deal so I can say I get better of gnome." She shrugs helplessly. "I don't want to fight you. You don't want to fight me. But I need to show proof I not risk mission. If you worried about your boss and wizard, how about you be our hostage instead, Hazel-like-tree?"</blockquote>

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