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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Whizbang Dustyboots" data-source="post: 4375604" data-attributes="member: 11760">"-- stable hands just look at each other in a panic, because they know if they actually give him their best horse like he demands, he's going to fall right off the side of it the second it breaks into full gallop, and make the king's army look like a bunch of idiots! But then the first one gets this look in his eye, winks at the other, and says 'Of course, milord, right this way!' And he leads him to the stall of this broken-down nag, see, who leans perpetually to the left --""Ngggh. Bad poops or no, Storm should have eaten gnomey when me had the chance ..."Khenemet-Apep's cat yowls in frustration over Bufer's continuing monologue, and in response, the wizard redoubles his pace. A moment later, he, the gnome and the cat break through the edge of the forest and stand before Green Mountain.Despite himself, Bufer pauses in mid-joke for a moment. Green Mountain stands out like a giant emerald against the snowy background of the Hotash Mountains. And Green Mountain itself is covered in white highlights, like a gem gleaming in the spring sunlight, with edelweiss dotting its slopes.If Bufer squints, he can see, near the peak, a flat area he knows contains the glacial lake that was supposed to be the impenetrable gate leading into Glangirn: The dwarves of old would lower the bridge into the fortress when enemies approached, once the dwarven army had taken the field. But five centuries ago, they met an enemy who could breathe underwater: Gax had swum beneath the lake and entered the fortress while the majority of the army was in the field, battling her kobold invasion force. The surviving dwarves, trapped outside their home, scattered into the Tulgey Wood, first taking refuge with the gnomes of Treeline before the kobolds came for them as well.Below the peak, to the south, a ragged scar in the earth marks the caves of the Green Mountain Kobolds."Not that way," the Wizard of Green Mountain snaps, pointing around the northern edge of the mountain. "Baraj Al-Aswad is just over that ridge, near the base."He sets out briskly across the green fields, his brown skin gleaming like mahogany in the sun. Bufer lingers for a moment, staring curiously at the dark scar that hides the kobold warrens."Don't even think about it," Storm says, next to him. "You not even make it halfway up. Even Tosh not near sneaky enough. Traps. Sentries. Hidden. Lots.""How would you know?" Bufer mutters. "I thought you weren't from Green Mountain."Storm snorts, then shrugs."Kobolds is kobolds. Scales different color, but think the same." The druid's gaze moves slowly over the green slopes of the foothill. "Probably at least a couple watching you now.""Really?" Bufer says, surprised. He breaks out into a grin, and starts to raise his hand."Don't. Wave." Storm barks sternly. "You piss them off.""Awww, I'm just trying to be neighborly.""Trying to be dead more like it," Storm snorts. "Come. Greasy wizard getting too far ahead. You being with him probably only thing keeping you alive right now."Bufer nods at Storm, casts one last glance to the south, and then scurries to catch up to Khenemet-Apep and his cat."Now," he says, out of breath, "Where was I? Oh, yeah: So then the stable hand takes him to another stall ..."Hazel stops just short of the tree line and scans the landscape, trying to determine the best way to approach the tower without revealing her presence. She maintains her silence and raises a warning hand to Emus, although she's dying to ask the dwarf if he's ever come here before to gaze upon his ancestral home.Hazel spends a long moment listening for any sounds beyond shifting leaves in the wind and Bufer's long-winded recital.If I hadn't heard him tell that joke before, I'd swear it ain't got an ending.Hazel and Emus gaze upon Green Mountain.At first, it looks uninhabited, but they see soon see dark shapes appearing and disappearing around the cleft marking the kobolds' caves. It takes a moment for their brains to translate what they're seeing over the distance, but the shapes appear to be giant weasels, as long as horses, slipping above and below the ridgeline. Kobolds are known to use them for guards and mounts, but at this distance, neither can see any kobolds.Emus stares at Green Mountain with a blank expression for a long time. He almost doesn't notice when Hazel moves on, but he follows her just in time to continue to keep her just in sight."If you miraculously come this way alone at some point," Khenemet-Apep says, interrupting Bufer's joke once more, "Come during daylight hours. The kobolds patrol much of the mountain by night, but they stick to the caves for the most part by daylight hours, although they let their pets run free during those times. At this time of day, truthfully, you are in more in danger in the darkness of the forest than you are on Green Mountain, so long as you give the colorfully named Caves of Chaos a wide berth."As it stalks through the grass, the wizard's cat meows something that Khenemet-Apep apparently understands."Don't blame me: That idiot Gideon Midwood had to frame everything in terms of Order and Chaos. I imagine he took more than one serious blow to the head during his military career."Bufer smiles to himself at the wizard's assessment of Gideon Midwood.Maybe he has a sense of humor, after all.He turns to remark as much to Storm, then blinks in surprise as he realizes that the kobold has mysteriously disappeared again."Hmm," he says, frowning thoughtfully. "Thank ye, that's handy to know. Not that I plan to make a habit of strolling out this way or nothing, but, with all due respect, but I didn't exactly foresee a day when I'd be setting out for the Black Tower, neither. These, uh, pets of theirs ye mention: They'd be those big weasel-shaped things, I'm guessing. Dangerous, are they?""It's said during the assault on Glangirn, the weasels would pull down the dwarves' war ponies, tear out their throats and drink their blood while the dwarves were still trapped underneath, helpless until the kobolds came by to slit their throats." The wizard chuckles as he picks up the pace, his voice getting fainter as he strides along the narrow rocky trail. "And, of course, they train them using gnome effigies.""Of course," Bufer says dryly as he hurries to catch up, no longer quite so sure that he appreciates the wizard's sense of humor.</blockquote>

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