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Message: <blockquote data-quote="spinozajack" data-source="post: 6648913" data-attributes="member: 6794198">I didn't dump my friend from my table, first off I was a fellow player and not DMing at the time, and it was I who invited him originally, and I invited him later to another game where I was also a player. Because I enjoy his company and we are old friends. However, another player at the table, when I was creating a new campaign with myself DMing, I asked what kind of game they liked to play, and who they wanted / didn't want to game with, and he brought it to my attention that in the 3 years of gaming with my other friend, he barely contributed anything to the story. Certainly nothing noteworthy. Like, "remember that time, in that campaign, when your character did this? Or said this?" Nope, not once. This was a 4th edition campaign which we were all getting tired of the combat-centricity of it (even though I generally love combat, it was getting tedious). But we've played with this player who is also a DM, and even as a DM, it's always modules and pretty much run like a videogame CRPG. Which was fine when we were 13 but not in our 30s, we've evolved from roll-playing and recognize the game for its true potential.After my other friend brought up the idea of judging players who are near-silent during the game, in a game of social interaction, I had to concede his point. Even the disruptive player, or the rules-lawyer, had more positive moments that stood out and were memorable or even awesome. I'd rather a mix of awesome and awful than just silence. If the balance veers towards awful, then it's good to try and curb that type of behavior or just not play with them in the future. But the players who don't ever go out of their comfort zone, even in a private apartment surrounded by their closest friends, who are all geeks themselves, is just too much. It's like in the army, if you don't pull your weight you get the soap-in-sock routine. There is a D&D equivalent to that : make us laugh, make us say "awesome move!", make us cry, or ponder, or just think. But do something. If you're too shy to say something even in the midst of close friends you've known for decades, there is a problem.D&D tables should be a safe space where you can both be yourself (within reason), and enjoy the company of others. I just find that, if you barely notice after a player has left the table (on their own), then perhaps it's better that they did leave. D&D can be therapeutic and teach you social skills, hone your imagination, and even learn maturity, listening to others, taking turns, taking your time, adjusting your behavior to make yourself amenable to others while still being true to yourself. But if you are paralyzed in silence, then D&D isn't helping. And if it's not helping or therapeutic, and others aren't really even barely aware of your contributions to this social game, then it's rather absurd to keep playing or inviting this person. Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone. And D&D, while being comfortable, is also awkward. And that helps you grow as a person, and get out of your shell. Learning to roleplay cannot be done effectively in silence. And roleplaying is above else, what the game is. If you are into roll-playing only, then a CRPG or MMO is probably a better fit. There is more maths involved in MMO DPR calcs than any D&D character could ever have.Different tools for different jobs. D&D is a social game, being anti-social and not even trying, is pointless to me. A waste of time even. I'd rather a player say stupid stuff (almost, as long as we're all having fun and said player is at least trying to contribute), than a player do nothing except attack or focus on his powers. If there is a preponderance of such players at a table, I would myself probably rather play a computer game instead. Even though I prefer D&D to computer games generally, there is good D&D and bad D&D, and no gaming is better than bad gaming. In my opinion of course.</blockquote>

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