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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fusangite" data-source="post: 2740597" data-attributes="member: 7240"><p>This is a non-existent binary. Your idea is premised on the idea that one needs a set of written rules to weed out those who are debilitatingly socially challenged. I think meeting people for coffee for half an hour sometime before they show up at your home is not only less obtrusive; it's more effective in finding people likely to be socially disruptive.That wasn't me.Good point. If you can't notice problems in an introductory meeting, there is always the solution of not inviting problematic people back rather than this crazy pre-emptive strike which, frankly, is more likely to attract socially dysfunctional people than it is to repel them.Congratulations, again, on trying to carve out some kind of middle ground here. That's one of the main things I do in initial meetings with people: I explain all the ways that my game deviates from the norm to see if that's okay with them. But this is done in a way that explores our potential compatibility; the behaviour rules approach doesn't give people the sense you are mutually testing your compatibility; it gives them the sense you have power/authority issues. You've hit the nail on the head here. The goal is to keep crazy people out of your campaign. In my view, a crucial part of this strategy is to (a) make sure you don't turn away sane ones, which I think the rules list does and (b) use effective tests to discern people's level of social dysfunction which again, I question whether the rules are.Agreed.Ordering food together or discussing non-gaming related things is not, in my view, selfish. Rather, doing those things helps to deepen social bonds in the gaming group which leads to, in my experience, a better group dynamic and richer, more enjoyable play. So, what you call selfish, I call community-building.Actually, I'm more of a fascist than you in this respect. I tell people what kind of game I run and they can join or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>

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