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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Djeta Thernadier" data-source="post: 1105353" data-attributes="member: 12043">Assuming you game the way my boyfriend and I game...slightly more than most people, I don't know what to tell you. I think most people who know me from my posts know that being independent is a very big deal to me, and if someone asked me to give up something I enjoyed to spend more time with them, I wouldn't do it. I know alot of folks disagree, but to each , their own.My boyfriend games with me and it's something we spend a lot of time talking about and doing together. He has a lot of hobbies that I do not; as I do as well. The thought of asking the other to not do one of these other things would never cross either of our minds. I was with someone for a long time who wanted me to give up the things I enjoyed to "spend more time" with him. I did and I was miserable, depressed and it showed in everything I did. You have to do what makes you happy. I've also been on the other end. For many years , before I played D&D myself, I was seriously involved with a guy who gamed (less than I do now!) but at the time...I wanted him to drop gaming and spend every saturday night with me. Looking back, I respect him for not doing that. I will never ask that of anyone ever again. That was 7 years ago.Now if being with this woman makes you happy, then by all means try to reach a compromise. But it sounds like it might be time to sit back and rethink some things in your life, and figure out what you want. My advice is do what YOU want; don't do what she wants just to keep her happy, because you can only hide from yourself for so long. Trust me there are women out there who will respect your hobby. One thing I've learned is that some people require more "attention" from their signifigant other than others. MojoGM and I both fit into "needs very little" attention category. It's not a bad thing, but it is something to consider when thinking about compatability.After being with someone who tried to force me to stop being me , I get really concerned when I hear that one person in a relationship wants the other to give up anything.Unless, of course, it reaches an unhealthy level. NOW ...if your gaming habits are such that they are excessive to the point where you are completely ignoring other things like friendships and work , and your health, and I know there are gamers out there who do that (the minority but there are a few) then you might need to get some help, or at least give up gaming so much and cut back.But I suspect you fit into the normal category. And I think it's best you talk to her and reach a compromise. But don't give up on gaming completely unless YOU want to.Is gaming pointless? No. Are sports pointless? No. Is art pointless? No. Is theater pointless? No. Are movies pointless? No. Is my collection of weird lps from the 50's pointless? No. Are my dog's collection of chewed up dog toys pointless? No.Nothing is pointless if it brings you joy.</blockquote>

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