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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Oryan77" data-source="post: 4659938" data-attributes="member: 18701">It's good to see a few people that actually understand where I'm coming from, thanks! I just think it's funny that people will argue so passionately that you are a bad DM when all it comes down to is a difference in play styles or preferences. I've read/heard horror stories from players about DMs that are really doing some crappy things to their players. The type of things being ranted about me seem pretty darn petty. I could be a hell of a lot worse <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f615.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":confused:" title="Confused    :confused:"  data-smilie="5"data-shortname=":confused:" /> If players have ideas for the campaign, I am not against listening to them and considering them. I have used lots of player feedback and implement ideas from it into the campaign. I grew up playing D&D with the understanding that my PC has no control over the world around him other than what he does in game. We compare it to the control we have over our real lives. Just because I'm alive, does not mean that Bill Gates should hire me at Microsoft just because I prayed to god that he does. That may be a stupid analogy, but it's all I got for ya <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" />I listen to players, but if I say no about a backstory, then why do I have to keep defending my reasons? People are accusing me of being a controlling DM, but isn't it just as controlling for a player to insist that my gods in my world do what controlling players want them to do? A player that is calling me controlling for simply trying to "control" my campaign world sounds a bit hypocritical to me. If a player wants to run my world, then why don't they just DM their own world? I've never in my life thought about telling a DM how his world or NPCs should be run....I wish I could control people like that in real life...it would make driving much less stressful <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />She never made the PC and this was something I was against anyway (I think I explained why in my first post). I did however give her ideas to help her make an insane PC that would fit the tone of the campaign and not annoy other players or myself. I told her I was not against the PC having crazy quirks, I just asked her to come up with something different. I have helped lots of player fine tune their backstories in this same way and have never had anyone throw a fit like the OP did. Everyone else was always completely understanding and we worked together to get a history that we were both happy with. They even welcomed my help & suggestions. Hearing people say that it's bad that I denied the slightest detail to a backstory is really news to me. I don't want a player thinking I'm trying to rewrite their history, but I need to make sure their ideas work with the campaign and won't be stepping over any boundaries. They can name their pets whatever they want as long as it fits the tone of our campaign. "Anything goes" is just not the theme for this particular campaign. I don't understand why people have a problem with this. Heck, I thought I was actually being a good DM by not saying anything about how the first pet name bothered me. I let it slide. But because it was becoming a theme to have silly pet names (and the new name was even more silly to me than the last name), I had to ask her to stop because I didn't want the campaign to start going down that path of silliness. I've learned that I'll now have to stick to my guns even more in the future. She blasted me for allowing the 1st silly pet name to begin with because I "got her hopes up". So next time I won't be so lenient I guess.That is a very hard question to answer. All I can say is that I have an idea for the tone I'm trying to set. The players don't really complain about the tone/style of the game & seem to be having fun. I let the OP have the 1st silly pet name, and other players have done things that weren't really to my liking. So I wouldn't say the game has to be 100% to my taste. I'm open to suggestions & requests from players, but in the end, I need to be happy running this campaign. But as I've said before, I didn't start this campaign with the intention of making it fit every players tastes. I started the campaign and then asked people if they want to play it. Some people like to make it seem like I should be allowing players to dictate what NPCs do in this world as if they are co-DMs. That would be fine if that was the type of game I was running, but it's not. The OP seems to want a campaign where she gets to be a co-DM. If I was running that sort of campaign, then I wouldn't have a problem with her telling me what the gods did to her PC.Well, my wife wouldn't have married me if I was sexist. The sexist comment is what ticked her off the most which is why the OP is no longer welcome to my home. So her opinion is all that matters to me. Her & I know that I am not sexist. I guess what I should have said was, "Anytime a man says anything to a woman like the OP about gender, of course she is going to claim he's sexist". I innocently made a comparison between men & women and it was not the slightest bit insulting. Rather than pay attention to what I was saying, she was ready to argue with me. She's a very defensive person.Sheesh, you are really picking my words apart aren't ya <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" />I was hurt that she bad mouthed me, at all. I don't care if anyone knows it was me she was talking about. If I did, I woulda just kept quiet and responded to this thread with, "Yeah, that DM sounds like a real loser! I hope I never run into that scumbag!" Yes, nobody knew it was me, but that doesn't make me feel any better knowing that what these people are saying is in regards to me. And the only reason they are talking about me is because of her badmouthing me....behind my back.</blockquote>

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