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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Enrahim" data-source="post: 9708123" data-attributes="member: 7025577">[USER=6790260]@EzekielRaiden[/USER] This is almost uncanny. Reading your writing feels very much like something I might very well have written myself if having been exposed to slightly different experiences. I am providing detailed replies to your main sections below, but I think all of them boil down to being examples of one single main point.I do have certain strong autistic traits. This has included a frustration over social maneuvering, people being prone to not just saying things plainly and honestly, and extreme aversion for social gatherings and contexts I don't see the point of. Games was a safe haven. It was and is a social arena where it was clear what was going on. I should be as averse to unwritten rules as any. Still for some reason TTRPGs have always provided sufficient structure for me to feel comfortable with it - even in it's most freeform of iterations.I think one of the reasons is that at some point I just got what was the purpose of the unwritten rules of TTRPGing, and why they stay unwritten (I can't claim actually having gotten all of the rules themselves though). I might still have frustration over this, ref my complaints in this thread regarding the absence of a good uncontroversial way to express and describe play preference (something that would be very useful to navigate the now unexpressed and unwritten expectations players enter a game with). But I do not press this matter hard, as I recognize it is not necessary to get a reasonably good experience most of the time. I would in my own words say I have over time come to terms with a pragmatic approach to the "problem" of rules (both written and unwritten). You might perhaps be more inclined to say I have grown cynical.Nevertheless here comes some glimpses into my thinking around why it might be best to just accept unwritten rules as a pragmatic necessity for good play.There are typically no word in unwritten rules? The process of trying to turn unwritten rules into (something like) written rules is insanely hard. If that is your go to approach to resolve diverging expectations on the meta plane I can definitely see how you might have bad experiences!!Indeed it might in this case explain how a dislike for unwritten rules can become a self fueling self fulfilling prophecy. If your reaction to encountering challenges with some unwritten rule is to try to make them no longer unwritten, I would expect that to produce a much worse experience than applying techniques that operate on a social-relational level. (Active listening; showing understanding for the various concerns; social pledges to take various preferences into account; vote regarding incident without necessarily creating precedent etc.)Exactly. This thread is what happens when you try to bring the complexity of individuals' understanding of gaming into words. Doing this can be a highly engaging, enlightening, and a few times practical experience. But it is hardly a quick and easy process to consensus. This is why resorting to letting the unwritten rules stay unwritten is most often the pragmatic choice if trying to interact in a playful way. Possibly. That is a completely unrelated topic tough. It is clearly possible to be opiniated, even strongly so, without getting to this extreme.I guess, but again are we really discussing these?Even more than "cannot play games" :OI have encountered rules lawyers that can really milk a game text, internet opinions, and other written sources to argue their interpretation. I have a hard time understanding how someone with no evidence whatsoever can be considered in a stronger position? You might argue that it is harder to argue against them given you have no access to any counter evidence. But this assuming that evidence and knowledge is the right level for this argument at all. Rather I would say that as is at it's core a social disagreement, there are a host of completely different techniques that is effective for resolving such arguments.The unwritten rules don't make conversation about them easier. But they are still there to make conversation and other interaction between humans easier. This is best seen if two individual or groups from different cultures with differing unwritten rules meet. Their interaction tend to be significantly hampered by the absence of a common set of unwritten rules. Efforts to write down and agree on a common set of written rules are generally not considered the best way of resolving cultural clashes. We are rather typically prescribed dialogue with a mindset of achieving a mutual understanding and acceptance. This new understanding and acceptance can abstractly be understood as a new set of unwritten rules governing the interaction between members of these two cultures.And finallyYes, I know those stories, but I have never heard that advice before. Good stuff! Hope I never need to apply it <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></blockquote>

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