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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Felix" data-source="post: 3594072" data-attributes="member: 3929">Detect Poison: Be aware of the proximity of 80's hair bands.Ray of Robert Frost [language-dependant]: When you want the enemy to consider the implications of mortality.Cause Fear Factor: Changes channel to Spike TV afternoon programming.Disinfect Undead: Because they are, you know: corpses.Endure Plot Elements: When the DM's railroading becomes too much.Engorge Person: Cause target to feel as if they just ate a large meal.Mage Armoire: Dining room heirloom appears for 1 hour / level.Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Person: Break target down into components and impregnate female of appropriate species.Halter Self: Attire torso in warm-weather clothing.Cat's Graceland: Teleport Self + 50lbs to Cat Steven's knockoff of Elvis' home.Flaming Sphere: Create Dupont Circle.Divisibility: Transmute any number so that it becomes non-prime.Misdirection: Create Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith.Explosive Moons: It's actually a space station.Hold Parson: Immobilize Protestant minister.Dhampiric Touch: Cause target to create romantic gothic fan-fiction about vamipre spawn you'd love to be.Bestow Hearse: Force target to lead funeral processions.</blockquote>