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ready for a new round of Ceramic DM?(judgements in, check in for finals...)
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 940374" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p><strong>drawmack vs taladas results!</strong></p><p></p><p>maldur-</p><p>Strangely both contestants interpreted the fire as a revenge thing. But</p><p>Taladas made it a cleaner and more to the point story. His use of the</p><p>pictures was also more concentrated on the story.</p><p>Winner: Taladas</p><p></p><p></p><p>alsih2o-</p><p> taladas- pretty darned straitforward. good usage of the pictures, even without stretching them or reading too much into them. and a nice bit about 2 boys in hell <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> drawmack- again, no real stretch wiht the pictures, it seems both of oyu used these similarly, and i am gonna take that as a bad mark on me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> overall,i have to tip the scales towards drawmack, as the stories are essentially so similar but his maintains a more classic fairy tale feel abd he is bold enough to try the "3 tied in stories" method.</p><p></p><p></p><p> mirthcard-</p><p><strong>Drawmack:</strong> I like the hook of the story and the</p><p>way that it plays on our expectations as an audience.</p><p>When the kids take the berries from the old man, we</p><p>want to scream at them not to do so, because we</p><p>already know how this is going to end. The description</p><p>of the old man was nice too, especially given his</p><p>eventual transformation into alsih2o's picture.</p><p>However, even though you made good use of that picture</p><p>in that instance, you may have overused it in the end.</p><p>In all of the DM competitions (Ceramic, Iron, etc), it</p><p>is imperative that you give equal time to each of the</p><p>ingredients assigned. All of them should be integral</p><p>to the entry and the removal of any ingredient should</p><p>cause the entry to fall apart. Unfortunately in your</p><p>case, you have really only made good use of one</p><p>picture, number 3. The first picture is a throwaway in</p><p>the beginning and is never referred to again. Numbers</p><p>2 and 4 are tacked on at the end, barely illustrating</p><p>the last moments of the story. Number 3, on the other</p><p>hand, is responsible for the antagonist, the plot, the</p><p>exposition of said plot, the action, the resolution,</p><p>and so on. You easily could have given time that you</p><p>wasted on centaurs and berry picking (why were those</p><p>in the story?) to further develop the impact and</p><p>meaning that the other three pictures had for the</p><p>story. Also, the ending left me cold - apparently, the</p><p>kids could care less that they essentially brought</p><p>about the destruction of everything they had known,</p><p>everything that they had held dear to their hearts.</p><p>Well, except for the dog, I guess. </p><p></p><p><strong>Taladas:</strong> I enjoyed the setup here. Knowing the</p><p>warnings, knowing the evil she is dealing with, the</p><p>old woman is blinded by hate so much that she, in a</p><p>way, becomes more evil than that which she hates and</p><p>that which she summons. Yet this great setup seems to</p><p>resolve itself too quickly. I'm not a fan of overlong</p><p>entries (hear that everyone?), but this one comes to a</p><p>screeching halt. And, like Drawmack, your use of the</p><p>pictures is uneven. Pictures 1 and 3 are used well,</p><p>but 2 and especially 4 are more like throwaways.</p><p>Beyond that, the story made me really pity the kids,</p><p>which I don't think was intentional. A couple of nice</p><p>kids who try to help a lost dog are fed gruel by their</p><p>abusive and racist grandmother and then doomed to walk</p><p>hell for eternity when said grandmother tries to use</p><p>her 'concern' over them to justify her causing</p><p>genocide through devil worship. Man that just plain</p><p>sucks.</p><p></p><p><strong>mirthcard's decision:</strong> In this tight race, I</p><p>give it to <strong>Taladas</strong> for the more active plot of</p><p>his story and the more balanced use of the</p><p>ingredients. However, I think both competitors could</p><p>have done better.</p><p></p><p></p><p> looks like taladas in a split decision...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 940374, member: 4790"] [b]drawmack vs taladas results![/b] maldur- Strangely both contestants interpreted the fire as a revenge thing. But Taladas made it a cleaner and more to the point story. His use of the pictures was also more concentrated on the story. Winner: Taladas alsih2o- taladas- pretty darned straitforward. good usage of the pictures, even without stretching them or reading too much into them. and a nice bit about 2 boys in hell :) drawmack- again, no real stretch wiht the pictures, it seems both of oyu used these similarly, and i am gonna take that as a bad mark on me :) overall,i have to tip the scales towards drawmack, as the stories are essentially so similar but his maintains a more classic fairy tale feel abd he is bold enough to try the "3 tied in stories" method. mirthcard- [b]Drawmack:[/b] I like the hook of the story and the way that it plays on our expectations as an audience. When the kids take the berries from the old man, we want to scream at them not to do so, because we already know how this is going to end. The description of the old man was nice too, especially given his eventual transformation into alsih2o's picture. However, even though you made good use of that picture in that instance, you may have overused it in the end. In all of the DM competitions (Ceramic, Iron, etc), it is imperative that you give equal time to each of the ingredients assigned. All of them should be integral to the entry and the removal of any ingredient should cause the entry to fall apart. Unfortunately in your case, you have really only made good use of one picture, number 3. The first picture is a throwaway in the beginning and is never referred to again. Numbers 2 and 4 are tacked on at the end, barely illustrating the last moments of the story. Number 3, on the other hand, is responsible for the antagonist, the plot, the exposition of said plot, the action, the resolution, and so on. You easily could have given time that you wasted on centaurs and berry picking (why were those in the story?) to further develop the impact and meaning that the other three pictures had for the story. Also, the ending left me cold - apparently, the kids could care less that they essentially brought about the destruction of everything they had known, everything that they had held dear to their hearts. Well, except for the dog, I guess. [b]Taladas:[/b] I enjoyed the setup here. Knowing the warnings, knowing the evil she is dealing with, the old woman is blinded by hate so much that she, in a way, becomes more evil than that which she hates and that which she summons. Yet this great setup seems to resolve itself too quickly. I'm not a fan of overlong entries (hear that everyone?), but this one comes to a screeching halt. And, like Drawmack, your use of the pictures is uneven. Pictures 1 and 3 are used well, but 2 and especially 4 are more like throwaways. Beyond that, the story made me really pity the kids, which I don't think was intentional. A couple of nice kids who try to help a lost dog are fed gruel by their abusive and racist grandmother and then doomed to walk hell for eternity when said grandmother tries to use her 'concern' over them to justify her causing genocide through devil worship. Man that just plain sucks. [b]mirthcard's decision:[/b] In this tight race, I give it to [b]Taladas[/b] for the more active plot of his story and the more balanced use of the ingredients. However, I think both competitors could have done better. looks like taladas in a split decision... [/QUOTE]
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