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ready for a new round of Ceramic DM?(judgements in, check in for finals...)
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 945136" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>maldur-</p><p>Even as its really hard to judge different picturesets against one another.</p><p>My vote goes for NOOC, his story just is the stronger one of the two. Its</p><p>more a single story instead off several parts kitbashed together.</p><p></p><p>Winner: Nooneofconsequence.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>alsih2o-</p><p></p><p>auroragyps- really liked the use of the spherids pic, but the rest seemed a bit on the bland side treatment-wise. it seemed like oyu were trying to fit a lot of story in a small space.</p><p></p><p>nooc- i am liking this oen a lot. from the readings from the snake/child to the magical focus for the crystal, all of this seems to work for me. the lighted hallway maybe could have been used a little more imaginatively, but who notices under this cool little ditty?</p><p></p><p> i have to go with nooc</p><p></p><p> mirthcard-</p><p></p><p><strong>NoOneOfConsequence:</strong> This piece was nicely done</p><p>- a very tightly paced story that gives full shrift to</p><p>all of the pictures. We understand the protagonist's</p><p>place in the story immediately as well as her</p><p>relationship to her employer, the mage. The bits of</p><p>flavor text do just that, giving us enough of a taste</p><p>to add depth but not too much so as not to overwhelm</p><p>the whole. I was all set to detract points for using</p><p>the boy and the snake as a throwaway, but in the end</p><p>the prophecy they dispense is shown to be</p><p>self-fulfilling. The only piece that seems a bit</p><p>forced is the crystal, but the mage spends so much</p><p>time trying to explain its somewhat convoluted place</p><p>in the magic that I bought it. Seeing it through the</p><p>female warrior's eyes as so much 'bullhockey' was</p><p>refreshingly funny and helped me suspend that part of</p><p>my disbelief. Not too much to criticize here as this</p><p>was sharp and focused all around.</p><p></p><p><strong>Auroragyps:</strong> I liked the setting of the Warrens</p><p>and the heroic nature of the boy, Jessen. There was a</p><p>nice feel of children's folktale about the piece that</p><p>gave it a nice rhythm. I was especially impressed with</p><p>the boy's sorrow at having killed the enemy instead of</p><p>simply driving it away. This loss of innocence in the</p><p>face of adversity came across really strongly. I did</p><p>notice that two of the pictures were mislabeled 3 was</p><p>4 and vice-versa, but it didn't bother me enough to</p><p>count against you. Your picture use as a whole could</p><p>have been a bit better, as I will illustrate. Picture</p><p>1 (the nun) was just way too convenient. She's the</p><p>first person that Jessen finds on the surface and she</p><p>knows everything about his enemy and how to defeat it.</p><p>This was way too easy and caused me to roll my eyes</p><p>when I read it. Picture 2 (star) really seemed forced.</p><p>If it had been a picture of a horn instead, then it</p><p>would have been wholly appropriate to the story. As it</p><p>was used however, you could have taken the lattice</p><p>star out completely and the story would not have</p><p>changed, which is not a good use of a picture</p><p>ingredient. Picture 3 (tunnels) is fairly well used as</p><p>illustrative of the Warrens in which the story is set,</p><p>but when the actual picture is described in detail in</p><p>the story it seems very forced (ie. the family went</p><p>right and the boy went left). Finally, Picture 4</p><p>(spherid) was well used as the enemy, although I</p><p>thought the name was a bit silly. In addition, I felt</p><p>the pacing was stilted and choppy with several</p><p>sentences sounding like a court transcript, "Subject A</p><p>went here and did this. Subject B replied with this</p><p>and then went here. Subject A left and went here to</p><p>talk to Subject C..." and on and on. In the end, I</p><p>felt the idea was very strong (and touching even) but</p><p>the execution was rough.</p><p></p><p><strong>mirthcard's decision:</strong> It's hard to decide</p><p>between stories that have different picture</p><p>ingredients, but in this case I award it to NoOneOfConsequence.</p><p></p><p> unanimous decision, nooc goes on to our screwy final....as soon as all 3 winners have checked in we can start it <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 945136, member: 4790"] maldur- Even as its really hard to judge different picturesets against one another. My vote goes for NOOC, his story just is the stronger one of the two. Its more a single story instead off several parts kitbashed together. Winner: Nooneofconsequence. alsih2o- auroragyps- really liked the use of the spherids pic, but the rest seemed a bit on the bland side treatment-wise. it seemed like oyu were trying to fit a lot of story in a small space. nooc- i am liking this oen a lot. from the readings from the snake/child to the magical focus for the crystal, all of this seems to work for me. the lighted hallway maybe could have been used a little more imaginatively, but who notices under this cool little ditty? i have to go with nooc mirthcard- [b]NoOneOfConsequence:[/b] This piece was nicely done - a very tightly paced story that gives full shrift to all of the pictures. We understand the protagonist's place in the story immediately as well as her relationship to her employer, the mage. The bits of flavor text do just that, giving us enough of a taste to add depth but not too much so as not to overwhelm the whole. I was all set to detract points for using the boy and the snake as a throwaway, but in the end the prophecy they dispense is shown to be self-fulfilling. The only piece that seems a bit forced is the crystal, but the mage spends so much time trying to explain its somewhat convoluted place in the magic that I bought it. Seeing it through the female warrior's eyes as so much 'bullhockey' was refreshingly funny and helped me suspend that part of my disbelief. Not too much to criticize here as this was sharp and focused all around. [b]Auroragyps:[/b] I liked the setting of the Warrens and the heroic nature of the boy, Jessen. There was a nice feel of children's folktale about the piece that gave it a nice rhythm. I was especially impressed with the boy's sorrow at having killed the enemy instead of simply driving it away. This loss of innocence in the face of adversity came across really strongly. I did notice that two of the pictures were mislabeled 3 was 4 and vice-versa, but it didn't bother me enough to count against you. Your picture use as a whole could have been a bit better, as I will illustrate. Picture 1 (the nun) was just way too convenient. She's the first person that Jessen finds on the surface and she knows everything about his enemy and how to defeat it. This was way too easy and caused me to roll my eyes when I read it. Picture 2 (star) really seemed forced. If it had been a picture of a horn instead, then it would have been wholly appropriate to the story. As it was used however, you could have taken the lattice star out completely and the story would not have changed, which is not a good use of a picture ingredient. Picture 3 (tunnels) is fairly well used as illustrative of the Warrens in which the story is set, but when the actual picture is described in detail in the story it seems very forced (ie. the family went right and the boy went left). Finally, Picture 4 (spherid) was well used as the enemy, although I thought the name was a bit silly. In addition, I felt the pacing was stilted and choppy with several sentences sounding like a court transcript, "Subject A went here and did this. Subject B replied with this and then went here. Subject A left and went here to talk to Subject C..." and on and on. In the end, I felt the idea was very strong (and touching even) but the execution was rough. [b]mirthcard's decision:[/b] It's hard to decide between stories that have different picture ingredients, but in this case I award it to NoOneOfConsequence. unanimous decision, nooc goes on to our screwy final....as soon as all 3 winners have checked in we can start it :) [/QUOTE]
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