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RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds
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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 7821417" data-attributes="member: 177"><p>Define "regular". </p><p></p><p>For some, "regular" means a group of people that they've known for 10+ years, in their own home. For others, it is a convention or FLGS gaming space, with people they've never met, and whose ideas of what makes for good gaming, and how fellow gamers should be treated, are not well-understood. For some it is G-rated D&D, and others it it R-rated Vampire. </p><p></p><p>Some "regular" tables don't need it. Mine doesn't, for example. But some people might. And that's fine. Let them use it. Don't spend energy dumping on the thing in general, just because you don't need it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We'll get to the idea of "baggage" in a moment...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh?</p><p></p><p>If someone came to game using crutches, or a wheelchair, would it be "bonkers" to shift some of the chairs around to make way for them? If they had a deathly allergy, would it be "bonkers" to make sure the pizza you ordered that night didn't have mushrooms on it? If you are on meds that mean you need frequent bathroom breaks, would it be "bonkers" to pause when you needed them?</p><p></p><p>Our would it just be common courtesy?</p><p></p><p>Health is health. Mental or physical. We slap a whole lot of connotations on mental health, because most of us have not managed to learn enough about it - we place a kind of blame on the person who has the problem. Referring to it as "baggage" suggests that really, if you wanted to, you could drop it. You could, as the song suggests, just let it go.</p><p></p><p>But, you can't. That's not how it works. It is less like "baggage" and more like "that old football injury" - there to stay, or only fading after a very, very long time, and it can, at times, be very painful.</p><p></p><p>Making some accommodations for a person's mental health is not any more "bonkers" than making accommodation for their physical health. Are you required to do so? No, not really*. Is it really polite and considerate? Yes. Your choice.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>With respect, when we sit down at the table, we should all be taking some responsibility for each other - we are there for a shared purpose of having a good time. If one of the players is horribly inconsiderate or a jerk, we think poorly of them for failing in this responsibility. </p><p></p><p>The X-card is not "making another responsible" for your problems. It is merely a communication tool that allows folks with a problem to communicate that with a minimum of fuss. We have socially accepted ways to say, "Hey, I need you to move that chair" or "Please don't put mushrooms on my pizza". We don't have ways to say, "That is about to freak me out, please don't do that," such that folks don't argue with you over it.</p><p></p><p>I mean, if you don't want to know when something you've done is making another person uncomfortable... or miserable or freaking them the heck out.... that's fine. You don't want to know. You keep on playing having done that to someone. </p><p></p><p>Me, I want to know, and I want to be able to make a reasonable accommodation for them if I can. There is nothing in the content of the game that is so danged important that it can't be shifted a bit for the real-world person sitting at the table. After all, the content is <em>for</em> those real world people.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>* Though, honestly, turning away a player with an injury, because you don't want to be bothered moving a few chairs... is kinda selfish, and folks would be within their rights to consider why you would do that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 7821417, member: 177"] Define "regular". For some, "regular" means a group of people that they've known for 10+ years, in their own home. For others, it is a convention or FLGS gaming space, with people they've never met, and whose ideas of what makes for good gaming, and how fellow gamers should be treated, are not well-understood. For some it is G-rated D&D, and others it it R-rated Vampire. Some "regular" tables don't need it. Mine doesn't, for example. But some people might. And that's fine. Let them use it. Don't spend energy dumping on the thing in general, just because you don't need it. We'll get to the idea of "baggage" in a moment... Oh? If someone came to game using crutches, or a wheelchair, would it be "bonkers" to shift some of the chairs around to make way for them? If they had a deathly allergy, would it be "bonkers" to make sure the pizza you ordered that night didn't have mushrooms on it? If you are on meds that mean you need frequent bathroom breaks, would it be "bonkers" to pause when you needed them? Our would it just be common courtesy? Health is health. Mental or physical. We slap a whole lot of connotations on mental health, because most of us have not managed to learn enough about it - we place a kind of blame on the person who has the problem. Referring to it as "baggage" suggests that really, if you wanted to, you could drop it. You could, as the song suggests, just let it go. But, you can't. That's not how it works. It is less like "baggage" and more like "that old football injury" - there to stay, or only fading after a very, very long time, and it can, at times, be very painful. Making some accommodations for a person's mental health is not any more "bonkers" than making accommodation for their physical health. Are you required to do so? No, not really*. Is it really polite and considerate? Yes. Your choice. With respect, when we sit down at the table, we should all be taking some responsibility for each other - we are there for a shared purpose of having a good time. If one of the players is horribly inconsiderate or a jerk, we think poorly of them for failing in this responsibility. The X-card is not "making another responsible" for your problems. It is merely a communication tool that allows folks with a problem to communicate that with a minimum of fuss. We have socially accepted ways to say, "Hey, I need you to move that chair" or "Please don't put mushrooms on my pizza". We don't have ways to say, "That is about to freak me out, please don't do that," such that folks don't argue with you over it. I mean, if you don't want to know when something you've done is making another person uncomfortable... or miserable or freaking them the heck out.... that's fine. You don't want to know. You keep on playing having done that to someone. Me, I want to know, and I want to be able to make a reasonable accommodation for them if I can. There is nothing in the content of the game that is so danged important that it can't be shifted a bit for the real-world person sitting at the table. After all, the content is [I]for[/I] those real world people. * Though, honestly, turning away a player with an injury, because you don't want to be bothered moving a few chairs... is kinda selfish, and folks would be within their rights to consider why you would do that. [/QUOTE]
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