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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 7821847" data-attributes="member: 4937">We had lines and veils 30 years ago, we just didn't call them lines and veils. We tended to negotiate them as they came up, asking players how they wanted to play a scene out or if they wanted to play a scene out and "cut to black" and opting out of a scene were normal. We just talked about it, which seems to me a pretty functional solution among friends. (In larger groups, such as LARP communities or at conventions, you may need more structure, but bringing the structure you need in a larger group to a smaller group is likely to be counter-productive.)Typically I hand out a questionnaire and then broadly discuss the answers with the players without calling out any particular player. I tend to run a PG-13 table, but I can adapt it down to PG or G for younger players. The sort of topics and descriptive devices that I employ we work out as we go, but I try to err on the side of avoiding things that are distasteful and throw veils over things that need veils thrown over them.I can definitely see that.  I definitely prefer a secret voluntary open ended disclosure to checklists. I really dislike affirmative consent in this context because I think it puts too much pressure on a player to stick with a consent and not withdraw it. That is, I'll never ask a player for a list of things that they agree to experience and consent to ahead of time, which feels to me like the sort of thing that would validate someone in a position of power being abusive and pushing lines and barriers.   In fact, I just think lists are abusive period.But, just as a personal aside, I wouldn't disclose to strangers my phobias. I just not a self-disclosing sort of person, and I'm equally pretty sure no in game experience could mimick my sensory cues enough to make me uncomfortable, unless it was an actually dangerous situation - and handling that is not something you can handle in the context of rules around gaming. I don't want people to ask me what I'm afraid of, and if they did I'd just keep silent about it.I wish. I don't get that impression.</blockquote>

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