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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Panda-s1" data-source="post: 7822570" data-attributes="member: 59554">okay, it sounds like you and your group have an agreement that intra-PC romance is okay. good for you and your group. not every group is the same, and assuming so makes no sense.immediately may be a bit much, especially if its something like the player says their character is a known philanderer, but if the player at the receiving end of the advances looks uncomfortable and the GM does nothing that's a red flag.if I were GM'ing I'd probably say something like "let's keep your philandering to NPCs only". if you're unaware, people will romance other player's characters as a means of hitting on that player.I don't see how the GM using the card is a huge issue, some players veer into weird territory themselves.also those mechanics already exist. a lot of them. most of them are passive aggressive.having a serious conversation isn't "kicking the puppy", it's dealing with the problem in a controlled manner.what's not in a serious and controlled manner is sexually harassing a character in game. you could talk to the GM and have them talk to the other player if it's actually a problem.if the person getting hit on taps the x-button then just don't hit on that player's character? I don't understand how this "chills all PC-PC romance" unless they tap it when romantic interaction happens between other characters, and even then I'd probably imagine said advances seemed coercive or invasive.okay if I can be honest it just sounds like you're somehow not okay with confronting issues between players, or believe that doing so is going to ruin the game. having a discussion with all the players that someone doesn't want their own character being romanced by other players should be okay? all the players being cool with that should also be okay? like do the players only value each other's characters as a means to carry out romantic fantasies or something?this is worse, but why wouldn't you want to referee that? maybe that player is uncomfortable with player A, but not player B. maybe they have a history that you don't know about. or maybe player B makes advances that are way less creepy. this isn't "X player only finds player B attractive and that's awkward" like it seems you're suggesting.but that's all in the context of a public game, if you're just playing with an established group you have the luxury of being able to talk to the player about their issues and figure something out. the x-card is not as useful a tool in this environment as you literally have the time to have a discussion with players.I don't think separating fiction from reality is the issue here. I'm not sure you understand the concept of empathy?like say my mother died and it was traumatic for me, and it took me a long time to figure that out. a year later my friend says their mother died and suddenly I feel the same way when my own mother died. is it because I think her mother was my own? no, it's because it reminded me of the time my own mother died. if I'm in a game where I'm pretending to be someone else and a mother dies I might feel the same way. this isn't being unable to separate reality from fiction, that's just how emotions work.this has been the case since RPGs have existed. I knew one couple who said their characters got into an argument in game and they carried that spat out into real life for the following day. it's not because they thought they were actually their characters, it's because that emotion carried on after the game ended.it goes both ways too, people enjoy beating the bad guy at the end of the adventure because it reminds them of previous times where they overcame a challenge, not because they actually believe they're a sword-wielding warrior in a fantasy world, lest we say that Mazes and Monsters is an accurate portrayal of D&D.</blockquote>

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