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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 7823609" data-attributes="member: 4937">I love it when people are finally getting honest.   Let's take a look again at what you are actually saying to see if it holds together.Ok, sure.  I've been in this situation.  I had a typical mysterious parentage plotline requested via a player back story that I was playing out, when one night the player central to that whose backstory it was said to me, "Can we just not play through this?  My dad just died and I'm having a hard time processing this right now."So I said....????(You seem happy to insert speech on behalf of others. So go ahead now and project on to me what you think I said. Done?)Ok, what I actually said was, "I'm sorry to hear that. Of course we can lay off this. Not a problem. Take your time. And if you ever want to pick it up again, just talk to me, but for now it's on indefinite hold."Easy. No X cards were required. Someone just respected me by communicating and I respected him, but I would have still respected him had he blown up or broke down into tears or anything else, because my treatment of other people doesn't really depend on how they treat me.Now, I can imagine theoretical requests in different situations that would not have been so easy to accommodate. Fortunately, a long running multiplot campaign that I'm authoring myself is the easiest to accommodate any vetos on play. If someone vetos me in a long running multiplot self-authored campaign I can pretty much always recover in the long run. So in a game among friends, an X card or any other sort of veto is not particularly disruptive. And naturally it is also the situation where the tool is the least necessary, because it's a game among friends.But let's take a big notice of the bait and switch you pull here, and think about that for while in depth.Think about this a second. You ask us to imagine now a situation were 5 people are sexually harassing someone. But you didn't. If you had thought through you example instead of having a good cathartic rant where you accuse everyone else of being subhuman and you vent your outrage, you would realize that a situation where 5 people are sexually harassing another one is not a situation where an X card will do any good. Because the sort of people that would adhere to an X card aren't the sort of people who would sexually harass someone in the first place. If you ever find that you are surrounded by 5 people sexually harassing you, get out of there for your own safety immediately. Because tapping an X card is not going to see to your safety in that situation. So situations of actual danger, the X card is useless. It does nothing.What we have here is what's called a "toy solution". It pretends to be a solution. But it only helps in easy situations where it isn't needed, like someone who doesn't want to experience rapture weed. The more serious the situation, the less helpful the thing actually is. Which is of course the point. The point is to create an illusion of safety so that people can be gradually manipulated out of their comfort zones for the gratification of the manipulator. Don't tell date rapists about the X card, or they'll start putting them in their cars. Every sociopathic SOB is going to want one.We can go through all the hypotheticals you want, but this pattern of being a "toy solution" will occur in all of them. The more you might want an X card, the less it actually helps.If there is five people sexually harassing someone that is horrifying.  But if that person leaves, the angels rejoice that the harm didn't get worse.   Leaving that situation is exactly the right thing to do.I see perfectly clearly thank you. You are the one that doesn't see anything. You don't even see your own words. The rest of us can see perfectly clearly that the X card doesn't stop sexual harassment from happening and isn't a solution to that.Now what I think isn't something anyone else is seeing, is If anything, it enables it, because it gives the harasser a negotiation methodology by which he can apologize, reset, and work a different angle while give the mark a sense of security. But it doesn't make anyone safe. But it does make them feel safer. It's lets an manipulative person get people to ignore red flags. That's the purpose.  You see having an X card out there indicates a desire to be transgressive by whomever put it out there. Normal social conventions might cause people to hesitate to breach certain subjects, but with an X card they can trial those waters safely. With a list of affirmative consents, they have been given an attack plan. You see, I'm the sort of person who runs PG games maybe PG-13 games because I believe I have a moral obligation to do so. I'm not interested in transgressing into "unsafe" spaces. I have nothing to lose here. I'm never going to run an X rated game. I'm never going to need to try to push into anyone's trauma or get some sort of thrill by getting someone to bleed all over the place. I don't run games to sexually titillate myself or others, and I left several RPG scenes when I realized that 80% of what was going on was elaborate flirtation and social dominance games and that for better or worse that was the main attraction - the main aesthetic of play - for most gamers in that scene. Maybe you ought to stop and think about who does want to do that, because they sure as heck need an X card. The need it to not scare people away, and to deescalate when things start getting creepy.You didn't think before you posted Hussar. Or you might have realized just how much you were really revealing. You see there is a huge jump between someone not wanting to deal with a normal element of game play and someone being sexually harassed. And you crossed that bridge without hesitation, conflating the two willfully and with malice.Your acting like I'm the one that isn't safe to game with. By why would anyone reading this thread think you were safe to game with?</blockquote>

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