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Saga of the Defrosters
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<blockquote data-quote="TarionzCousin" data-source="post: 5087447" data-attributes="member: 31304"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>The Defrosters – February 7, 2010</strong></span></p><p></p><p><u>Present</u></p><p><strong>Arvin </strong>– Human Rogue and Hut Harasser</p><p><strong>Felonius Dark</strong> – Tiefling Warlock and Dark Side Denier</p><p><strong>Grommit </strong>– Dwarven Fighter and Bold Berserker</p><p><strong>Vixten </strong>– Elven Cleric of Angharrad and Pressuring Parlayer</p><p><strong>Zanen </strong>– Deva Avenger and Sinking Slicer</p><p></p><p><u>Absent</u></p><p><strong>Flurge </strong>– Eladrin Wizard and Commemorative Celebrator</p><p><strong>Marcus </strong>– Half-Elven Bard and Missing Musician (DM’s Kidnapped PC)</p><p></p><p><u>Location</u></p><p>Gloomwrought, at the docks, in the Shadowfell</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px">Come On Over</span></strong></p><p>Flurge was missing, having teleported to Tytherion to celebrate his broodmate’s birthday with festive slithering and cake.</p><p></p><p>The Prince™ was his usual, un-helpful self. He took the prisoner and went back to sleep. The heroes decided to investigate the shoreline where Belendithus was alleged to have her base of operations. Vixten skulked around the docks trying to spy something with his little eye until Arvin slunk into the water and dogpaddled out to the offshore hut.</p><p></p><p>Lurking behind the scenes, Zanen heard some beings approaching from a parallel alley. These mysterious others sounded a menacing signal horn while our heroes noted their failure to prevent them from doing just that. Felonius managed to not climb up to the nearest building’s rooftop twice while Grommit shuffled dwarfishly into position to attack whenever Horatio Hornblower appeared.</p><p></p><p>Arvin made it to the steps up into the hut just in time to witness a half-dozen almond-eyed sahuagin swim menacingly through the water. He entered the hut through a door that provided no cover whatsoever and chatted/bluffed with a sexy female Ojibwe tiefling he found there.</p><p></p><p>“Adventurers are attacking on the docks—at least a dozen or more!”</p><p></p><p>“Why are you here? I heard the horn; why aren’t you with the others?” She asked.</p><p></p><p>“I came to warn you!”</p><p></p><p>“I’ll go blow them away,” she pronounced.</p><p></p><p>“I’ll help!” Arvin lied.</p><p></p><p>The female tiefling went to see for herself and Arvin promptly pushed her off the porch. She even more promptly teleported behind him and pushed him back. He then mostest promptly fell down, barely clinging to the edge of the porch. </p><p></p><p>A male tiefling appeared instantly behind Felonius, imploring him to join the Dark Side™ before shivving him in the back and teleporting away. Felonius gave up trying to climb the building and jogged around toward the frolicking taking place on the shore.</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px">That Don’t Impress Me Much</span></strong></p><p>Down a side street, a pimpload of male prostitutes arrived carrying ineffectual axes and shields. These were the thugs Zanen had heard earlier. Grommit utterly and completely obliterated the lead gigolo’s single hit point and Vixten blasted away the other three. In retaliation, the female tiefling dropped a flaming ball of demonic backbacon on Grommit’s helmeted head.</p><p></p><p>Zanen rushed into the water to help Arvin, sank to the ocean floor and began drowning. Vixten rushed into the water to help Arvin, sank to the ocean floor and reconsidered his tactics. Two sahuagin stabbed Zanen with the pointy ends of their tridents and chortled gleefully. Grommit flanked one of them and shortened his spine by several inches with his happy hammer.</p><p></p><p>The male tiefling appeared just in time to be rebuked by an ice-armored Felonius--effectively refusing to become Darth Felonius (for now, at least!) Another sahuagin gnawed on Vixten’s elf ears, so the cleric retreated out of the water and blasted away "<em>pew-pew</em>" at many moist targets.</p><p></p><p>The female tiefling teleported next to Zanen and did something that nobody saw because it failed miserably. Zanen two-fisted his huge sword into her and parted her big brown hair. </p><p></p><p>Back at the hut, even more sahuagin had surrounded Arvin. He roguified himself out of a jam and into the little wooden building, pausing only to notice a convenient Otis™ rope elevator in the rear corner. Bloodied and beaten back, he imagined himself jumping into the elevator and cutting the rope swashbuckleringly to plummet gloriously to the water below. But then, like a majestic vision from the DM (“Do you really want to do that???” the DM said as he began looking up “Extreme Falling Damage” in his books), he suddenly wondered if the elevator really just went to the water below or if it went somewhere else….</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px">Man! I Feel Like a Woman!</span></strong></p><p>Several sahuagin slimed Grommit, proving once and for all that salt water is good for dwarves’ wounds. He took a deep breath and pictured his green opponents as big verdigrised nails. Nearby, Zanen cleaved the female tiefling into Shania Twain, violently ending her long list of chart-topping pop/country hits.</p><p></p><p>Felonius’s alternating hot and cold treatments permanently ended the male tiefling’s aches and pains. This freed him up to firebomb multiple sahuagin via his famous fiery barrage which has earned him hordes of screaming Asian girl fans and the moniker “Big In Japan™.” Zanen knocked one out and Grommit charged to the rescue with a wild air-hammer miss.</p><p></p><p>Arvin escaped the hut and jumped out into the water toward the shore just as the last two sahuagin decided it was time to retreat. They swam away in a hurry, but not quite quickly enough! Grommit, displaying a keen mind for crazy berserker tactics, single-handedly charged out into the water, across the porch, and jumped ahead of the retreating enemies to cut off their escape. Felonius followed him and learned what all the drowning was about. Zanen advanced and pulled one sahuagin up onto the porch so he could slice him into little pieces. Grommit finished him off and Felonius blasted the last one. </p><p></p><p>On shore, Vixten healed the female tiefling with his boot on her neck, obviously intending to have a nice, civilized conversation with her. Arvin finally made it back to shore and offered his insights into the female persona. The woman was not interested, holding fast to her futile belief that the Army of Darkness™ would overrun the daylight world and make our heroes’ lives miserable. </p><p></p><p>“Shar will destroy you,” she began. “You surface-dwelling —ACK!” She quit talking suddenly as Vixten made her pretty little head explode.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, Zanen had moved to look at the elevator inside the hut. It was large enough to hold four trusting fools at once, and was only slightly wet. Curioser and curioser.</p><p></p><p><em>--End Session</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TarionzCousin, post: 5087447, member: 31304"] [SIZE="4"][B]The Defrosters – February 7, 2010[/B][/SIZE] [U]Present[/U] [B]Arvin [/B]– Human Rogue and Hut Harasser [B]Felonius Dark[/B] – Tiefling Warlock and Dark Side Denier [B]Grommit [/B]– Dwarven Fighter and Bold Berserker [B]Vixten [/B]– Elven Cleric of Angharrad and Pressuring Parlayer [B]Zanen [/B]– Deva Avenger and Sinking Slicer [U]Absent[/U] [B]Flurge [/B]– Eladrin Wizard and Commemorative Celebrator [B]Marcus [/B]– Half-Elven Bard and Missing Musician (DM’s Kidnapped PC) [U]Location[/U] Gloomwrought, at the docks, in the Shadowfell [B][SIZE="4"]Come On Over[/SIZE][/B] Flurge was missing, having teleported to Tytherion to celebrate his broodmate’s birthday with festive slithering and cake. The Prince™ was his usual, un-helpful self. He took the prisoner and went back to sleep. The heroes decided to investigate the shoreline where Belendithus was alleged to have her base of operations. Vixten skulked around the docks trying to spy something with his little eye until Arvin slunk into the water and dogpaddled out to the offshore hut. Lurking behind the scenes, Zanen heard some beings approaching from a parallel alley. These mysterious others sounded a menacing signal horn while our heroes noted their failure to prevent them from doing just that. Felonius managed to not climb up to the nearest building’s rooftop twice while Grommit shuffled dwarfishly into position to attack whenever Horatio Hornblower appeared. Arvin made it to the steps up into the hut just in time to witness a half-dozen almond-eyed sahuagin swim menacingly through the water. He entered the hut through a door that provided no cover whatsoever and chatted/bluffed with a sexy female Ojibwe tiefling he found there. “Adventurers are attacking on the docks—at least a dozen or more!” “Why are you here? I heard the horn; why aren’t you with the others?” She asked. “I came to warn you!” “I’ll go blow them away,” she pronounced. “I’ll help!” Arvin lied. The female tiefling went to see for herself and Arvin promptly pushed her off the porch. She even more promptly teleported behind him and pushed him back. He then mostest promptly fell down, barely clinging to the edge of the porch. A male tiefling appeared instantly behind Felonius, imploring him to join the Dark Side™ before shivving him in the back and teleporting away. Felonius gave up trying to climb the building and jogged around toward the frolicking taking place on the shore. [B][SIZE="4"] That Don’t Impress Me Much[/SIZE][/B] Down a side street, a pimpload of male prostitutes arrived carrying ineffectual axes and shields. These were the thugs Zanen had heard earlier. Grommit utterly and completely obliterated the lead gigolo’s single hit point and Vixten blasted away the other three. In retaliation, the female tiefling dropped a flaming ball of demonic backbacon on Grommit’s helmeted head. Zanen rushed into the water to help Arvin, sank to the ocean floor and began drowning. Vixten rushed into the water to help Arvin, sank to the ocean floor and reconsidered his tactics. Two sahuagin stabbed Zanen with the pointy ends of their tridents and chortled gleefully. Grommit flanked one of them and shortened his spine by several inches with his happy hammer. The male tiefling appeared just in time to be rebuked by an ice-armored Felonius--effectively refusing to become Darth Felonius (for now, at least!) Another sahuagin gnawed on Vixten’s elf ears, so the cleric retreated out of the water and blasted away "[I]pew-pew[/I]" at many moist targets. The female tiefling teleported next to Zanen and did something that nobody saw because it failed miserably. Zanen two-fisted his huge sword into her and parted her big brown hair. Back at the hut, even more sahuagin had surrounded Arvin. He roguified himself out of a jam and into the little wooden building, pausing only to notice a convenient Otis™ rope elevator in the rear corner. Bloodied and beaten back, he imagined himself jumping into the elevator and cutting the rope swashbuckleringly to plummet gloriously to the water below. But then, like a majestic vision from the DM (“Do you really want to do that???” the DM said as he began looking up “Extreme Falling Damage” in his books), he suddenly wondered if the elevator really just went to the water below or if it went somewhere else…. [B][SIZE="4"]Man! I Feel Like a Woman![/SIZE][/B] Several sahuagin slimed Grommit, proving once and for all that salt water is good for dwarves’ wounds. He took a deep breath and pictured his green opponents as big verdigrised nails. Nearby, Zanen cleaved the female tiefling into Shania Twain, violently ending her long list of chart-topping pop/country hits. Felonius’s alternating hot and cold treatments permanently ended the male tiefling’s aches and pains. This freed him up to firebomb multiple sahuagin via his famous fiery barrage which has earned him hordes of screaming Asian girl fans and the moniker “Big In Japan™.” Zanen knocked one out and Grommit charged to the rescue with a wild air-hammer miss. Arvin escaped the hut and jumped out into the water toward the shore just as the last two sahuagin decided it was time to retreat. They swam away in a hurry, but not quite quickly enough! Grommit, displaying a keen mind for crazy berserker tactics, single-handedly charged out into the water, across the porch, and jumped ahead of the retreating enemies to cut off their escape. Felonius followed him and learned what all the drowning was about. Zanen advanced and pulled one sahuagin up onto the porch so he could slice him into little pieces. Grommit finished him off and Felonius blasted the last one. On shore, Vixten healed the female tiefling with his boot on her neck, obviously intending to have a nice, civilized conversation with her. Arvin finally made it back to shore and offered his insights into the female persona. The woman was not interested, holding fast to her futile belief that the Army of Darkness™ would overrun the daylight world and make our heroes’ lives miserable. “Shar will destroy you,” she began. “You surface-dwelling —ACK!” She quit talking suddenly as Vixten made her pretty little head explode. In the meantime, Zanen had moved to look at the elevator inside the hut. It was large enough to hold four trusting fools at once, and was only slightly wet. Curioser and curioser. [I]--End Session[/I] [/QUOTE]
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