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Saying "no" and equality
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<blockquote data-quote="Crazy Jerome" data-source="post: 5444749" data-attributes="member: 54877"><p>You do have to push a bit, and make it clear what is happening. This is where some hard limits are actually useful to communication. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> Nor does the "yes period" have to always be before the game is prepared--that's merely the most obvious time. But nothing wrong (if you can work with it) of playing, say, the first few sessions, or complete adventure, and then allowing tweaks. </p><p> </p><p>A player thinking that, "I can ask for anything I want, anytime I want, without putting a lot of effort or thought into it, and expect you to just make it happen for me..." is ludicrous. You should be refusing that.</p><p> </p><p>OTOH, if you don't have ways, times, etc. in which the players can let you know what they want, before things get too set, then you should be more open. Heck, the way some GMs do handle this issue is essentially to say, "I don't want to fool with any of that ahead of time. If something comes up, I'll work it out with the player." Which is fine, if it works for that guy.</p><p> </p><p>When you aren't that guy, it's your obligation to give* the players a clear avenue to participate as much as the groups' consensus says they should. It's the players' obligation to take advantage of those opportunities or, failing to do so, accept gracefully the decisions of those who did.</p><p> </p><p>* Accept, allow, work towards with the players, whatever. Depends a lot on the players and how proactive they are, exactly what you do. If you've got wallflowers, I say you ought to draw them out. If you've got ultra proactive, assertive players, all you have to do is listen. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Crazy Jerome, post: 5444749, member: 54877"] You do have to push a bit, and make it clear what is happening. This is where some hard limits are actually useful to communication. :) Nor does the "yes period" have to always be before the game is prepared--that's merely the most obvious time. But nothing wrong (if you can work with it) of playing, say, the first few sessions, or complete adventure, and then allowing tweaks. A player thinking that, "I can ask for anything I want, anytime I want, without putting a lot of effort or thought into it, and expect you to just make it happen for me..." is ludicrous. You should be refusing that. OTOH, if you don't have ways, times, etc. in which the players can let you know what they want, before things get too set, then you should be more open. Heck, the way some GMs do handle this issue is essentially to say, "I don't want to fool with any of that ahead of time. If something comes up, I'll work it out with the player." Which is fine, if it works for that guy. When you aren't that guy, it's your obligation to give* the players a clear avenue to participate as much as the groups' consensus says they should. It's the players' obligation to take advantage of those opportunities or, failing to do so, accept gracefully the decisions of those who did. * Accept, allow, work towards with the players, whatever. Depends a lot on the players and how proactive they are, exactly what you do. If you've got wallflowers, I say you ought to draw them out. If you've got ultra proactive, assertive players, all you have to do is listen. :) [/QUOTE]
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