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Message: <blockquote data-quote="tauton_ikhnos" data-source="post: 1369406" data-attributes="member: 16195">First, I apologize. I levelled two critiques (3 and 5), and honestly, that's not fair - you have a life, you're not making money, and it's pure generousity that brings these bits of text to life here. So I'm sorry.Okay, read this in morning, not so clear. Sorry.1. I'm just guessing, don't need confirmation. I think the coffin is going to be Merideth. She's the only current character idealistic enough for Greppa's line, "see what it got you". Whoever it is, I'm antsy, but I can wait as long as I know story is continuing <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />.2. Force fields aren't something I'm accustomed to seeing in D&D. You mentioned them only briefly, and if Kithios was an advanced, ancient, lost empire, it was feasible that we were seeing high tech or something. I misread - like I said, my bad.3. Gate to the North, I understood that you fought orcs, but then I had problems following the action. Specifically, I got lost around this paragraph:I felt like I was reading a French Art War Film, which may have been your intent. I remember that the battle Athan showed up in was a very confusing panoply as well.Anyway, it looks like, "they fought orcs, they won, the orcs were only a scouting party" was the only important bits. If wind walls that move or the inexplicable Eye become important, I suppose they'll be explained at some point, and if the details of where things were and when becomes important, I'm sure you'll re-explore it in more detail at that point.4. Just a compliment. Expeditious charge is perfect <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />5. I understood the system stuff. I've read that portion of the site. I was commenting that having it in parentheses in the middle of the story broke my immersion. I know it is a D&D site, though, so stupid of me to comment.6. Your writing tends to float from one bit to the next, dropping tantalizing details without giving the whole picture immediately. You mentioned litany of political events (who Theralis annexed and allied with) and then "Kithios returned", I assumed it was also a new bit. So, to make question clearer: is it a subtle reference to Theralis as the new Empire? Or has Kithios really returned?7. My understanding seems off - the Kyriotes I read about seemed to be a total ***. Here, Greppa and Merideth, who both got dissed by him, seem to respect him? Eh, you don't want to answer, you won't answer <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f641.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":(" title="Frown    :("  data-smilie="3"data-shortname=":(" />8. Again, compliment. Sorry if it came off sounding bad.</blockquote>

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