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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jdavis" data-source="post: 676326" data-attributes="member: 8704">And once again that is a judgement call, give a universal all inclusive definition of minimal social courtesies, even no showing without any warning for no reason at all is ok in many groups, heck it is expected in many groups. The tone the post in question used was harsh, but there have been just as many post that made it sound like missing a game is a hanging offense regardless of the reason. The term social contract has been thrown all around not to mention Miss Maners was quoted earlier. Since when did you have to RSVP to play D&D, to some people this is no more than a simple game, some people play this game the same as getting to gather to shoot some basketball on a Saturday afternoon. Show if you want to play, no big deal. This seems to be the situation as was given, in this situation calling ahead was well beyond what anybody else would do, whether he called ahead 10 days or ten minutes before the game started. What might be a personal slight and a horrible mistep to some might be a act of total consideration to others. Several people have taken personal offense to even the idea that somebody would not show up to game and that is what is just nuts about this, how can you be offended by a action that wasn't offensive in the context given? Cutting somebody off in traffic is rude, cutting somebody off in the Indy 500 is race car driving, it is the expected behavior. They are both the act of driving a car but you have to keep them in the proper context. Failing to show up because "it's just a game" is fine as long as the people involved think it's fine.  Just this last Sunday one of our friends didn't show up, he sent a e-mail the next day saying "sorry I didn't make it". He didn't give any explination, he didn't go into detail why, heck he e-mailed us the day after we had already gamed. Was this rude? Well I was happy that nothing happended to him, heck I found it curtious to say he was sorry at all. He is a friend I have known for 15 years I am not going to totally change my impression of him based on this one incident if I did then I'm not much of a friend to all the sudden dislike him for missing one session of a game, If he had sent no e-mail at all and never said he was sorry or explained anything then it still wouldn't matter he has been a close friend for 15 years and this is one silly little game of D&D. In our group not showing up is perfectly acceptable, one of my friends disappeared for 3 weeks, his computer was broken and they were moving, it was no big deal, our response "was you should of called we could of helped you move", not "how dare you break your social contract and not show up to game". I have known the guy for over 20 years, my friendship with him is a lot more important than getting mad because "Bungo the Halfling" wasn't around to search for traps. Getting together with friends is a luxury at this point in my life, instead of being mad when somebody doesn't make it we are happy when they actually do. I am not trying to be rude or insult the way anybody games, heck I wish I could game a more serious game but for me and my friends it is just not in the cards. No showing in our game is just fine, heck we expect it, I prefer to get notice but it is not a requirement, if you can make it then I'm happy to see you, if not well maybe next week. Please don't imply any universal rules of courtesy or politeness, there are no universal rules, it only matters that the people in each individual group agree, outside of that it doesn't matter at all.</blockquote>

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